Week 6 Recap: "I CAN'T CONTROL MY EYEBROW!"

Well my tv/cable went to hell tonight and I missed the first 5 minutes of the show.  Noooo!  I missed Sean working out shirtless again!  Alas. So rejoining the show, it appears that Sean is going on his first one-on-one date with AshLee.  And apparently there are no roses on the one-on-one dates this week.  Since he is going to be choosing the final 4 and all. 

For their date, Sean and AshLee are sailing on a boat in St Croix together and all she can think about his her childhood abandonment.  And Sean fulfilling that loss in her life.  Yawn.  Meanwhile back at home (the beachfront lounge chairs), the girls speculate as to whether or not AshLee will bring up the Tierrarist to Sean.  They cannot believe that she is opting to sleep on a COT in the hallway just to avoid sharing a bed with these other girls.  Lesley wants to roll that cot into the ocean!  (Oh Lesley, this is why I love you.)  On the beach, AshLee DOES bring up the Tierra situation and all I can think is... see ya AshLee- he's about to shoot the messenger!  He says he is grateful for the honest info but we all know how he REALLY feels- he will never accept that Tierra is not perfect for him. The end. After the confrontation Sean and AshLee have a romantic make out sesh on the beach and I cannot handle how much sand is clearly going up their swimsuit bottoms right now... not my idea of fun.  Later they have a very romantic ocean-side dinner all planned by Sean of course, and AshLee is ready to share some deep secrets.  She has one thing left to tell him but she just cannot spit it out!  My husband and I are guessing the big news, and, winner!  He guesses correctly- she got married in high school!  When she was 17!  Wow.  She was married her junior year in high school and it was over by senior year.  Quite the teenage rebellion.  Sean does NOT seem okay with this but he is playing it pretty cool.  AshLee feels like she ruined the date and I think she is right... but Sean insists that he still likes her.  She proves her feelings for him by yelling to the whole island, "I love Seannnn!" and we all gag a little.  This seems a little early to be declaring our love for Sean, but we'll see how well her confession works out for her...

Finally Sean gets some clarity tonight!

The next date card comes, and it goes to Tierra for the second one-on-one.  She is going to be spending the day walking around the town of St Croix, and she is excited to be with Sean but like... "being attacked by bugs and the sweatiness and my make up dripping off... that's not fun or cool."  Priorities, people. In Lesley's words, "I hate that bitch."  Sean has a lot of questions for her, and I wonder if he is going to believe every word she spews about her innocence.. hmm...  As predicted, she is hot and sweaty, but she is really happy to be shopping with Sean!  He bought her the greatest gifts, which made him a real winner in her eyes!  Suddenly they come across a parade in the street, and Tierra is having a blast!  She is such a fun girl!  The girls back at home don't know HOW he could keep her around after this week... Ohh girls... If you only knew the "connection" that they made with her fun, energetic, victimized side.  She of course explains how SHE is the one being abused by the other girls and she lets us know that she is ready to beat down whoever threw her under the bus with Sean!!  They head to a secluded dinner and Tierra hopes to turn the bad vibes around to get herself back into his good graces.  Like a true game-player, she expresses her doubts and distant feelings and Sean plays right into her hand and realizes he needs to get back to that closeness that they used to have.  She is GOOD!  All the sudden she gets over the doubts and tells Sean that she is falling in love with him.  Yeah, that's the move I would have made too.  Sean concludes that it's okay that she is not nice to the other women (really?)- all that matters is that she is sweet to him. I mean, kind of... but do you really want to marry someone who can't be nice to other people? Okay.  As they walk by the ocean at night and contemplate getting in, I can only ASSUME that she pulls a Courtney and they skinny-dip aka take their relationship to the "next level."  It WOULD be the strategic move here... (See 5 Reasons Why the Courtneys and Tierras Will ALWAYS Win)

To start Sean's group date, he decides to wake all the girls up without makeup on to see what they look like all fresh faced.  Not only that, but he wants to capture the moment with a photo.  They of course freak out, and I admit... I would too!  Sean- girls don't want you to see them in their natural state until a few months into a relationship.  Rude.  He gives them 5 minutes to get ready (at 5am), and while Lindsay and Des freak out, Catherine is good to go.  Yay low maintenance!  They are up in time to see the sunset and it is so romantic!  They have a long day ahead of them road-tripping around the whole island, but all they really want is some alone time. Sean is connecting with Des the most and I love her and wish she would be here til the end!!  But the other girls are not feeling it.  Finally they make it to their end destination and they await sunset.  Lindsay has an emotional conversation with him and Sean confirms that he is crazy about the girl in the wedding dress. I guess she's fine.  Catherine has alone time and confesses her family drama about her father battling depression and Sean is so glad that she told him that personal story.  Good effort Catherine, but I don't think that will be enough to keep you around, sorry.  Finally, Des gets some one-on-one and she gets all choked up talking about her family.  Aww, Des.  I do love her! And I know Sean does too.  And so does her ex-boyfriend I guess.  Geez when is he going to show up, anyway?!  There is a rose on the date, and this rose means home towns!!  It goes to Lindsay, and I admit I am a little surprised...  Thought it would be Des!!  I know she'll still get one.  Sean's plan to see the sunset is a bust, but who cares when you are with 3 anorex-uh-beautiful women?!

The final date of the week is with Lesley- yay!  The plan is to just hang out today, because Sean feels like he needs to get to the point he is at with the other women.  Sean!  Lesley is awesome, come on!  I am nervous.  They are having a great time and Lesley is ready to confess her love and I hope that it is not for nothing!  She chickens out and decides NOT to tell him today- this is going to backfire, Lesley!  Sean is not getting enough affection and eye contact and I am worried that Lesley is going about this too politically and not emotionally enough (she is in politics after all).  I have a bad feeling about this, Lesley...

Sean's sister Shay comes to visit and he is so excited to get some expert advice on the ladies! She gives some tough love, but I am guessing he won't be taking any of her advice.  Sean's problem is that he likes all the women (shock), because obviously the producers have chosen them that way.  Shay foreshadows the inevitable disastrous conclusion by explaining how she doesn't want the end to be like "Nooo I don't want you to end up with THAT one!"  Sorry, Shay, the family will be disappointed.  Sean recalls that Shay advised him not to end up with the girl that no one likes.  Well guess what, Shay??  Sean decides that he will go get Tierra and they can all talk it out...

Thrown under the bus...

Meanwhile, the girls at home fear that Tierra will flip a shit at AshLee for calling her out, and boy are they right.  Tierra can hear AshLee and Lesley talking crap, and things are about to get crazy.  Tierra asks AshLee if there is anything she needs to say, and things heat up!  AshLee is furious that Tierra thinks she is sabotaging her, and I'm like wait, but you are...  Tierra insists that the girls are jealous- "Men love me!"  She is NOT okay with girls claiming she is rude and judging her because of her facial expressions and her eyebrow.  "I CAN'T CONTROL MY EYEBROW!"  This shit is blowing up!  Suddenly, Sean walks in, and tensions are high.  Luckily, the yelling has ended and Tierra is in hysterics crying on her cot.  She has such a big heart and she doesn't know why this is happening *smile* and their last date has been heavy on her heart *smile* and she knows that AshLee sabotaged her connection *smile* and she is so scared for the rose ceremony *smile*.  Well played, Tierra.  Sean doesn't know what to do- listen to his older sister's advice, or follow in Ben's footsteps... What to do, what to do?  Sean tells Tierra about his sister and she falls to further pieces/smiles as she hugs Sean tight.  But then... in the surprise of the season... Sean completely destroys every prediction and analysis I have ever made about the show and decides... to send her home!  WHAT?!?  My world is shattered!  A Bachelor actually uses common sense and listens to reasonable advice?!?  EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER KNOWN IS A LIE! Well, can't say I am upset.  Good riddance.  Tierra sobs to us, "I hope the girls got what they wanted."  Yes, Tierra, actually they did.  On to the next bit of drama.

Later, the girls have no clue what happened with Tierra, and they have no clue what to expect.  Sean explains the situation and the girls try to look cool while they secretly rejoice inside.  He informs them that he knows his decision and that there will be NO cocktail party tonight.  He also reminds them that he doesn't like drama, and AshLee is freaking out.  I'm not so sure who will be leaving tonight but I am worried about Lesley for sure.  The first rose goes to Des and I am just waiting until she breaks his heart!  Sad.  Next, Catherine gets the rose and I admit I am a little surprised.  She doesn't seem right for him.  And the final rose of the night goes to... AshLee.  Of course.  I AM DEVASTATED.  Lesley was clearly the best girl he had left, and I am over it.  AshLee is confident that she will marry Sean, and I hope they have a wonderful boring life together.  All the sudden Catherine breaks down because "if he doesn't want Lesley, then I don't know what I am doing here."  What?!  She admits that Lesley was the best choice for Sean and I am like, excuse me? Then trade places with her, please.  Don't worry Lesley, you will find someone better back in DC!

The previews for home towns make it pretty clear that Lindsay and AshLee will be in the finale, and that Catherine and Des are not going to make it to the end.  But perhaps I was wrong about the Des drama- is it her brother that causes problems and not her ex-boyfriend?? So many questions to be answered next week, and I cannot wait.  Until then, stay Tierrable!