The first date of the night goes to Catherine. She is cute and fun, and I think I actually like her. I don't predict that she will win, but I enjoy seeing them together. Sean picks her up for the date on a giant snow bus- in fact, he is driving- and she sits behind him... how romantic. They head out to play on a glacier and Sean is hoping that these tundra conditions are ideal for making an intimate connection. Hmmm. They both insist that they are having a great time, though I'm just saying, I don't know how much I would enjoy being outside for hours in a blizzard, even if it was with my one true love. Maybe I am weak. Or cynical. Alas. Finally they head to dinner on a horse-drawn carriage and arrive at an ice castle. Seriously Sean, it is freezing outside! Am I the only one who is shivering just watching this?? Plus, how are you supposed to look hot and slutty when you are bundled up in a parka? The date goes on and Catherine tells us a ridiculously depressing story about her friend being killed by a tree falling right in front of her at age 12. Why do they all have these stories about the horrifying life-changing events that they have been through?! It must be a requirement in the screening process. Sean appreciates the story and admits that he is crazy about her, and she gets the rose. Drama-free and adorable- I wish Sean would just go for someone normal like Catherine! Nah, that would just be too easy.
The group date invitation arrives at the house and Daniella finds out that she will not be going on the one-on-one date. Honey, it's because you are the next to be eliminated... Sorry to break it to you, but he is only keeping you around because you're blond and hot. Seven girls are heading on the date and I am just in suspense about this near-death trauma that Tierra is about to experience! Sean takes the girls on an exhilarating and challenging date on a lake. The first part of the date is to canoe across the lake, and it seems like one girl needs to go in Sean's canoe, so Lesley jumps on it. Nice work, Lesley! Sean likes a girl that takes initiative! Of course the other bitches are spiteful, but maybe next time they'll figure out how this game works. All the girls make it across, and Sean has one more surprise- they are all going to take the Polar Bear Plunge! This is my nightmare. But as Sean says, "you only live once" (YOLO?). These girls are already freezing and nobody wants to do this... but I guess if you are desperate for a rose... The doctors warn the girls about hypothermia, and I wonder who is going to end up with that?? Selma tells Sean that she comes from the desert and she will die if she does it, but Sean ensures her that he won't be mad. She is such a girlie little brat but I kind of love it. All the other girls are ready to jump in, even though AshLee really doesn't want to. Isn't this what love is all about? Doing something you really don't want to do that could kill you? The girls shriek their brains out and jump in and back out again, and now they all feel so awesome! Except AshLee. Still cold and pissed. Suddenly, Tierra can't breathe. Sure. The paramedics warm her up and rush her off, and poor Sean feels helpless and responsible. What are the chances that this is real? I'd say 10%. Tierra is doing her best to look pathetic and I start to feel bad for the paramedics who are actually taking this seriously and wasting their time and resources. Tierra looks like a hot mess with mascara ALL over her face and all she can say is "I miss time with him!" Now that is dedication. This is an Oscar-worthy performance! Miraculously, all the other girls are fine and in fact are energetic and excited. Sean comes to check on Tierra and thankfully all her make up has been cleaned up. Tierra tells him that after this, he better marry her. And she's not joking. Sean tells her to stay in bed and not worry about coming to the date that night because he is confident in their relationship. Wonder if she'll listen to him...
|Hot Mess ...Or Cold Mess?|
Desiree gets the last date of the week, and this is her SECOND one-on-one date with him. Which is funny, because she is the one who is questioning their relationship the most. Plus we all know about that ex-boyfriend back at home who she'll be tempted to go back to... But I do love her!! Sean informs Des that they will be rappelling down a mountain to a picnic and I'm like, haven't we seen almost this exact date twice already this season? Come on, Sean. Can't you just go see a movie or something? Luckily, Sean gets her through it, blah, blah, and they are so much closer now, whatever. Sean assures Des that he really likes her, and then they have a tree climbing contest. They are so flippin' cute, I just want them to work out! Sigh. They go on to a date in a giant tepee and Des thinks that cuddling up in animal skin is just so cozy! She opens up about living in a tent as a kid and we hear yet another depressing life story. Des! You are so sweet and real and you will surely make your ex/future-boyfriend really happy. Nonetheless, she gets the rose and we all swoon for the time being.
It's the night of the rose ceremony, and the girls can't stop talking about Tierra. Sean insists that he can't keep a woman at this point unless he can see raising a family with her. Really? You see Tierra as the mother of your children? In other news, Selma is finally ready to shame her family and her heritage to kiss Sean on national television, and this peck on the lips is the lamest thing I've seen in a while. If you're going to disgrace your whole family, you might as well make it good! Later, AshLee gives Sean a blindfold for... the bedroom? No, to show Sean that he is going to be in control of her every move? No, well, I'm still not really sure. Aren't we past the stunts and gimmicks?
Two more women are going home tonight and I am actually shocked that he is narrowing it down so quickly all of the sudden. Lindsay and AshLee get called and I am not surprised about either. For the final rose of the night, could it be..?? Yes, of course, Tierra! His future wife! Daniella goes home, no surprise here, as does Selma, who I actually liked, but without the prospect of televised make-out sessions, she didn't really stand a chance. I just feel bad that she disappointed her family for nothing. Sean has it down to the 6 that are all perfect for him, and they will finally be going somewhere warm and relaxing. I can't wait until next week when Tierra plays the victim yet again and Sean loves her even more for it. Stay tuned for that and my thoughts on the Tierrarist's genius game playing. Until then, stay bitchy!