Sean Tells All: What You Need to Know

Tonight ABC is airing a one-hour special where Sean will tell all!  This is the first time they've done this to my knowledge, but I guess they are desperate for viewership this season...  Since I'm sure that most of you out there will not have the patience to sit through this ridiculousness, I've compiled all the crucial confessions and information you may have missed and need to know:

He's getting pensive tonight! (ABC)

The final 3 women:  Sean admits that he already knows everything he needs to know about the women, but he looks forward to private time without the cameras... Ohh yeah.  Basically, he knows who he is going to pick but is sticking to the episode progression that ABC has required of him.  I guess it doesn't hurt to get some overnight dates with the girls either... even though there are rumors out there about him being a virgin...?  Sure. 

Desiree's elimination: This was heart-wrenching for Sean.  He finally realized that he COULD see his life with Catherine, but maybe not with Des.  So there you go.  It's clear that it was really all about her brother and I feel sad for her.  Sean was so offended by the accusation of being a "playboy" that he could never get over it.  We find out that at first, the brother was actually really nice and chill towards Sean, but then he clearly took some drugs or something and came back and completely turned.  Weird.  He ruined everything and it seems like Sean is still upset about the whole thing.  He admits that she just wasn't the right person, and it just stinks that it wasn't even really about HER.  Okay, I'm done ranting. 

Sarah's "shocking" goodbye: Did you guys remember that Sarah has one arm?  But that it "wasn't a factor" for Sean?  And that she didn't want everything to be about her one arm?  I had almost forgotten!  These flashbacks to her painful spills at the roller derby date are literally killing me.  Sean admits that Sarah was such an awful kisser (okay fine, it just lacked passion), that he knew he had to send her home right away.  I get it Sean, bad kissers are the worst!  Get them out!  We get to re-watch Sarah crying because "it's always the same," and I'm like, maybe you should practice those tongue skills... (Watch the first episode of the season for some tips from Arie!)

Selma v. Lesley M.: The non-kisser vs. the hard-core kisser.  Sean was very disappointed that Selma would not kiss him on the lips.  All that sexual chemistry and he wasn't allowed to act on it?!?  Lame.  They did some Eskimo and eyelash kisses, how cute, but once Selma finally gave him the real kiss, she got sent home.  He appreciated the gesture aka the worthless peck of a kiss, but he knew it could never work.  Lesley M. on the other hand- Chris Harrison suggests she was a kissing-whore!  What the hell, Chris?!?  Lesley was the best, and Sean clearly felt some amazing chemistry.  We see never-before-seen footage of them sharing a brownie with some dirty-talk, and it was so freaking cute!!! What happened?!?  Well, Lesley never told him that she loved him and she acted too awkward (I mean... you have only been "dating" a few weeks... come on.), so she went home.  If only she would have just said it, she may have been the winner!! Alas, I still love Lesley and I think she is amazing.  Team Lesley forever!

Finally... some Tierra talk:  Ohhh Sean.  He admits that he was such a fool, and he was duped.  He says that Tierra should have never come on the show because she can't get along with her peers.  Oh Sean, don't you know it was all for publicity??  He admits that he wishes he had kept Jackie over Tierra on the 2-on-1 date.  Sucks to be Jackie right now!  We go back to the cocktail party in Montana, where we find out that the Tierra-bad-girls-club-fight was going on for hours.  It was all night and all over the house, and it was ridiculous drama.  The flirting at the airport, the rudeness towards the girls, it was all out there.  God, to spend one night in the Bachelor house! I would just thrive on all this drama!! Amazing.  Sean admits that the Tierrarist almost ruined all of his relationships, and he bids her good riddance!  Good luck with your engagement, Tierra!

Catherine's love notes: Apparently Catherine has a super weird sense of humor and Sean digs it.  She liked to give him creeper love notes and even "took it to the next level with him" by giving him a note with her lips kissed onto it... Sean loved it.  She is also "very flexible" and Sean was digging that too. Maybe they have a better connection than I previously thought...

Expectations for the fantasy suite: Why is Chris asking this???  Weird.  Well, Sean just thinks it will be a great time to have some privacy with the ladies.  Chris Harrison explains that "we don't know what past Bachelors have done in there"... sure we don't... and asks Sean some really awkward questions about getting physical that night. Sean, being a gentleman, dismisses these, as would I.  We get it, you want him to admit his virginity, but come on.  Too far, Chris Harrison, even for you.

Next week, the final 3 girls will get their "intimate" dates and we are all waiting to see what will transpire!  Previews show that Sean will indeed pick out a ring to propose to someone in the finale, but will she turn him down?!?  Or is this just a clever cut that the producers have made to make us skeptical...  Stay tuned to find out everything you are dying to know about the final episodes!