Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Bachelor Recap: This Week's (Lack of) Drama

Okay so I know I said I didn't care enough to blog this season, but once I finally posted, I got on a roll!  Plus, I can't let a few things go by without my commentary...

As I predicted and pointed out in my last post, this season is BORING.  Juan Pablo is just too mature and normal to allow anything ridiculous to happen.  In fact, he is even sending home the right women!  The only source of crazy left in the house, Free Spirit Lucy, was actually eliminated last night because Juan realized she was not wife-material.  What a practical and mature decision!  So, what drama (or lack thereof) is even left?  Let's take a look...
  • The girls are all jealous of the amount of one-on-one time the others get (what else is new?)
  • The girls freak out when another girl kisses and cuddles with Juan Pablo (I'm sorry, have you seen this show before?)
  • Elise thinks that Chelsie is too immature to be wife-material... and she likes to remind us over and over (and she is probably right, and I'm sure JP will send her home in the next few weeks- I mean how long did it take you to finally jump off that bridge?  Enough.)
  • Sharleen still has no idea what she is feeling, even though JP seems to be obsessed with her down-to-earth-ness... will she finally make up her mind about him (or will the producers stop forcing her to act like she cares?)
Just one big happy, drama-free family! (ABC)
Yeah, that's it.  Jealousy and girls without feelings.  CRAZY!  Or crazy boring, at least.  In more positive news, here are people I still like:
  • Andi- yup, I still like her the best and think she would be a great choice
  • Elise- can she finally get a date already?  Even with the complaining about Chelsie, I still like her and want to see her more
  • Nikki- apparently the girls are going to attack her for being fake, etc, but I think she is cute at this point
  • Renee- I still like her a lot, and haven't you noticed how she is always the one to act as the mom to all the crying girls?  For sure the most mature
  • Cassandra- well, I don't know if I actually like her as much as I am fascinated.  You are 21, have a 2-year-old, and your profession is "former NBA dancer."  I just want to know more about her.  How long did you dance?  Couldn't have been that long if you got pregnant at 18 or 19.  And what do you do now?  Who supports you and your son?  So many questions, I hope that we get some answers!
Well, that's all I've got for now.  Perhaps next week will actually see some real drama/action?  Or more girls complaining about one-on-one time... We shall see!

Monday, January 20, 2014

The New Bachelor: Juan Pablo (and Why I Don't Care)

Loyal fans have noticed that I have been unusually quiet this season of The Bachelor.  In fact, I told myself that I would not even blog at all, in protest of Juan Pablo as Bachelor.  It's not that I don't like him- I think he truly is a great guy.  I just think he is NOT a good choice as far as Bachelors go.  I know, I know, I have said this before, and my last post even goes off on Des as the worst Bachelorette (but I mean, she was...).  But truthfully, there are a lot of reasons why even after 2 episodes, I know this will not work out, and therefore I just don't care.  Or maybe it's just because I'm pregnant and therefore can't watch this season with a glass (or 3) of wine, which always made me so much snarkier!  Regardless, let me explain my distaste for this season...

First of all, why does ABC keep choosing single parents to be the Bachelor/ette?!?!?  It is a HORRIBLE idea.  Yeah yeah, it's so endearing to see them as a loving parent and to see the adorable child who just wants a stepmother/father, but really, it's not going to work.  Now, I have never been a single parent, so I guess I don't KNOW this, but I think it is kind of important for a potential spouse to get to know the child before they like, get engaged.  And that NEVER happens on the Bachelor/ette. Not to mention, a lot of these ladies have children of their own- which is FINE, but in order to make a family, it is probably important that all the adults and children spend a lot of time together before making any big decisions about marriage.  And this is NOT how ABC dating shows work- the last one standing always gets a proposal, and they see where it goes from there.  Unless they take the time to blend families in advance, I worry that it will not work out.  Maybe that's just me...

Next, Juan Pablo is too mature to make for a dramatic show.  Yes, this is a wonderful quality that makes me like him, but it makes for bad TV.  Even in the second episode, it was clear that Juan Pablo does not have time to deal with drama queens, and knows that he needs a good mother rather than a 24-year old train wreck.  Again, this is very admirable and shows his maturity/overall character, but it will not make for good TV.  If he maturely dismisses every woman who acts like a child or a drama queen, who will audiences get to hate on??  Nobody.  And what will we do without a Courtney or Tierra to constantly bash?? 

Aside from all that, I think ABC's biggest mistake was choosing him in the first place, because they clearly chose him to make the show more "diverse."  Yup, I said it.  They have been under fire for SO long for only focusing on white people, that they needed someone who may branch out a bit.  Oh Juan Pablo, he is Latino, he has a sexy accent, and he will definitely go for more diverse women... Sure.  Okay, it may be the fact that I am bitter that my favorite from last season, Chris, unfortunately ended up with that undeserving loser Des and therefore was unable to be the next Bachelor, because honestly, wouldn't he just be PERFECT?!  But still, ABC picked Juan Pablo to be diverse, and I am pretty sure it is STILL not going to work.  I mean, the most diverse/ethnically-interesting woman this season, Sharleen (I mean really, what race is she???), already ruined their plan by NOT EVEN BEING INTERESTED IN HIM.  Clearly once producers had a chat with her after night one, she started to at least feign interest in episode 2, but come on, she's not feeling it- don't make her stick around just to prove you aren't lacking in diversity.  Their whole purpose in choosing him has failed, and they know it.

All this being said, I HAVE still been watching the show, and fully intend to keep watching (what else am I going to do on Monday nights?).  So far, we have seen one crazy breakdown, and a lot of boring, nice girls.  Here are some noteworthy contestants:

Andi: Probably my favorite, even though she got kind of annoying about the whole going nude in a photo shoot thing.  But I am pretty sure it was a ploy to get Juan's attention, and I am down with that.  But she is pretty and fun and would make a good mom.

Kelly: So is your job to a be a professional dog-lover??  Is it because you kind of look like a dog??  I just don't get why Juan is even interested- what is she even bringing to his life?? It's weird.

Lucy: The Free Spirit.  Whyyyyy is he keeping her around, other than the fact that the producers want SOMEONE kind of crazy.  She is clearly not wife/mother-material, and I am over the overexposure.  Please, producers, let him send her on her way.

Renee:  She is the obvious choice, and in a normal dating situation, I think would be perfect.  Also a mom, and totally acts like everyone's mom on the show.  But since their families won't have time to meet/mesh before the impending proposal finale, it's likely not going to work out.  But I do like her.

Sharleen: Again, I think it's hilarious that she is clearly the producer's choice, but has no interest.  She is definitely the most sincere and down-to-earth, but it won't work because she doesn't want it to work.  But it is going to be fun watching her be forced to stick around...

ABC's picks for a future step-mother... (ABC)

So there you have it.  My thoughts on Juan Pablo and the ladies to this point.  Due to high demand, I WILL keep blogging, at least at points throughout the season, but again, without the wine, my weekly posts may not be as interesting!  But I am sure everyone will soon realize that I am right on one thing- regardless of the sexy accent and the hot bod, Juan Pablo will NOT be an entertaining Bachelor, and people will likely be disappointed by this season. But who knows, maybe I will be wrong on this one...  We shall see!