Monday, August 5, 2013

Finale Part 2: Worst Bachelorette Ever.

Okay, before I even start.  Tonight we have THREE hours of this show.  Now, I know this is typical for the show's final episode, but do we really need THREE hours for this ending?  This means two hours of Des explaining to the final guys that she is giving up, and then another hour of her explaining why.  I think I speak for everyone in the world when I say: 30 minutes would be sufficient for this.  But of course, ABC needs to drag this crap out.  Can't wait to see what fun they have in store for us...  "Tonight, on the Bachelorette: Des cries for two hours."

We start with Des reminding us that Brooks broke her heart, in case we forgot, and guess what??? She's crying!  She sits down for a heart-to-heart with Chris Harrison, and continues to cry.  This. Is. The. Worst.  Already.  She says that she just wants to go home, and I'm like, please do!  End it now!  Chris Harrison then reminds us that there are two other guys (GREAT guys) that she has forgotten all about.  Remember when you said how much you liked them??  Are you going to keep being a bitch and just act like they don't exist?  Or pretend you still like them?  We all know you can never love anyone like you love Brooks, so just end it now.  She insists that she has no clue what she is going to do, but I think we all know...

The show drags on, and Drew and Chris pull up for the rose ceremony.  So wait, this is the 2nd to last one?  Aren't there only 2 guys left?  Is this really necessary?  Des comes out to talk to the guys, and cries a bit more as she explains the situation.  This is painful.  She continues with the rose ceremony and asks that the guys only accept if they really love her.  Like BROOKS SHOULD HAVE.  More hysterical crying.  Both guys accept their roses, shock, and I cannot believe she is letting this go on. Stop playing with their hearts!  We know you don't love them like you should!  Both of these amazing guys love her so much and feel so sorry for her sadness and I can't watch. She doesn't deserve them!!!

At this point I'm just like, can we skip to the end and find out who the next Bachelor will be?  Chris Harrison leads a discussion with the live studio audience, and now I know why this is going to last so many hours.  Good work dragging this out with meaningless commentary, ABC!  I wish I was further ahead in my DVR and could fast forward through all this.  But instead, I'll just keep sipping my wine...

Back in Antigua, Des decides that she does want to continue on, now that she knows how much they like her.  May as well try to find some sparks!  Please. You are the worst.  She isn't ready to introduce them to her family though, since she is just not ready for that after the Brooks incident.  She is spending the day with Drew who loves her so so so much, and she just acts like a bitch the whole time.  She is not feeling it.  Maybe because you are still depressed about Brooks!  This date is so awkward, she is not in love with him, and I hate her so much.  She finally decides to have a talk with him and I am not happy about this.  She starts to cry again as she tries to explain her feelings.  UGH I hate you.  Drew is the sweetest, hottest, most loving guy ever and you do not deserve him.  She tells him that she cannot be 100% for him, and once he watches these episodes, he will see why.  She is the WORST.  Poor Drew is trying to figure this all out as Des apologizes.  He has been so honest while she has been a dirty liar acting like she wants a future with him.  Drew takes it so well and is such a man and I LOVE him.  He will find someone amazing because HE is amazing.  He says goodbye (I am pretty sure he is just in shock), and he is so freaking classy.  Hey Des, why don't you cry some more about what a horrible person you are??  Drew still thinks she is so amazing, but just wait until he watches these episodes.  He won't feel so bad after seeing the truth.  We love you, Drew!!

Well, Des is down to one last guy, who happens to be my favorite.  Time to break Chris' heart, too!  It is clear that Des has lost her spark and isn't even excited to see him, the way she used to be.  Get over Brooks, please.  Chris is literally perfect in every way, so don't please don't be a horrible bitch.  Des does appreciate how much Chris cares about her, and she finally realizes that there is another great guy here besides Brooks.  She is actually smiling again and looks happy, so maybe she is not being awful anymore?? If only Chris knew the reality though...  She likes him enough, but nobody can live up to Brooks!  Please.  Des tells us that today was amazing with Chris, and this change is hard to accept.  How could it not be??? Having fun with someone other than Brooks???  They sit down for a romantic dinner, and poor Chris has no idea how much he has been played.  Chris is so freaking adorable and perfect, and I don't even want him to end up with her at this point.  He deserves way better!!!  Chris asks if he can meet her family, and Des admits that she does want to introduce him to them, which I guess is nice... Later, Chris gives her a journal because of their little notes/poems back and forth, and I love him.  If she breaks his heart, she is dead.  HE IS PERFECT!!!  Has Des finally realized that Chris is the most amazing guy in the world, and way better than Brooks???  She cries to the camera because she doesn't know what it feels like to feel loved, and regrets that she didn't love Chris from the beginning.  You. Bitch.  NOW you realize how great he is??  After you almost quit the show because of another guy??  You are the worst.  Have I mentioned that?

Des and Chris are going to hang out with Des' family, and Chris is nervous about meeting the douche brother.  I would be too!  They have an intense session of grilling him, and he is handling it nicely.  It is kind of awkward, because it is all in front of Des, and they keep asking about his feelings about the future and other guys. Especially the brother!  Just don't call him a playboy, please!  Chris gets some alone time with her dad, and asks for permission to propose.  He is so freaking adorable and I love him even more.  He gets permission, but I am so nervous about what that bitch will do to him!  At this point, Des knows that he will propose, and has to decide whether or not she will accept.  She has a heart-to-heart with the douche brother, and admits that she is ready to marry him at this point.  But when she asks the brother if he has any concerns, he says yes, and she makes the greatest face in response.  Not again!  He just wants to make sure she is over Brooks, and he is just being honest!  He does like Chris, but we need to make sure she is truly over Brooks.  Don't break Chris' heart!!!

Finally, Chris is ready to propose, but is not sure what is going to happen.  That has got to suck.  Wouldn't it be nice to know that the girl you love will say yes to your marriage proposal??  He goes to pick out the ring with good old Neil Lane, and I am so nervous for him.  I just want HIM to be happy!  In other news, remember how he doesn't even know that Drew is long gone??  You're not even competing against anyone!  You are only competing against the memory of a former contestant.  Oh Des, you do not deserve this.  Have I mentioned that?  Apparently Des still doesn't have a clue what she is going to do, minutes before the proposal, and that does not bode well for the future.  Is she going to tell the truth about Brooks and make him change his mind?? Oh lord, what is going to happen?

Des arrives ready for the final rose ceremony in a dress that is far too large in the bust and even as depressing as this potential rejection is going to be.  Chris arrives, and Des gives a half smile, which does not bode well.  Chris gives a heartfelt speech which literally kills me, and I am so in love.  But as he goes to get down on one knee, she stops him.  Oh lord.  Oh God.  Stop. She has some things to say too.  She explains that he is the only one left, but that she was torn apart by Brooks.  She tells him that Brooks blinded her to what was right in front of her, which is him, and she says that she loves him!  A little more hysterical crying, and they both actually look so happy.  Finally he is able to get down on one knee and propose, and the tears are flowing!  In a shocking twist of events, she says yes, and I will admit, I actually am kind of happy for her.  I still hate her for all the Brooks crap, but I love Chris so much that I cannot help but smile.  I just hope that he can look past the stupid drama, but I am sure he will be able to because he is such a classy, amazing guy...  Love Chris!!

Well it appears that ABC fooled us all!  Making it seem like Des was going to end up alone... that skillful editing!  I can't decide if I am happy or not.  I mean, she was the worst ever.  She is still engaged to Chris, who I LOVE, but I am not sure how this will last.  What happens when he sees how this whole thing went down?  She was such a bitch those last few weeks!  Hopefully she has been better since then... Chris deserves the best!  On the After the Rose special, it is time for Chris Harrison to get down to the truth.  He brings up Brooks over and over, and guess what?  He is there to face her!  Can't wait to see how this goes...

First of all, Brooks changed his hair a bit, and looks WAY hotter.  Uh oh, Des, he is looking good...  This is kind of awkward.  Can we just move on and be happy about Chris, please?  Des breaks it to Brooks that she is now engaged to Chris (so awkward), and Brooks acts shocked.  Like he wasn't eying that ring on her finger?  Please.  He knew.  Next, Des has to face Drew, and I cannot bear it.  He is too sweet to be hurt like this!  Drew is looking FINE tonight, and we find out that he is still recovering from all this.  We love you!  Drew is SO classy and admits that he is so happy for her, and I still would love for him to be the next Bachelor!  Next, Chris comes out to be with Des for the first time in public, and I fall in love with him all over again.  Love him!!!  Des tells us that she will be moving to Seattle to be with him, and I am actually glad it is working out.  Finally, Chris presents a gift/poem to Des, and we all fall in love with him all over again.  Des, you better be good to Chris, because he is literally the best ever.  I DIE. Do NOT mess this up, Des!

FINALLY it is time to find out who the next Bachelor will be!!!  And, oh no, it is Juan Pablo.  I had a feeling.  I mean.  Ugh.  I have mixed feelings.  Yes, he is insanely hot and Latin and athletic and a loving dad.  But, ugh.  He had hardly any screen time this season and we hardly know him, outside of him being hot as Hell.  I should have known when ABC made the Men Tell All special all about him, but I do not think this will be good.  He will not find a real love, I am fairly certain.  I am sure I will have more thoughts about this, so stay tuned for my reaction to this news!  Hopefully after this awful season, next season will be better, and I hope for the best!  I can't wait to see what happens, and I know you are all excited too... Until then!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Finale Part 1: Is This Still a Fairy Tale?

Tonight is part one of the 2-part finale event and I am so nervous!  I know something crazy/probably bad is going to happen and I am worried for my faves!  To recap: Brooks, Chris, and Drew are left.  My top pick is definitely Chris, but I also like Drew a lot.  Des is leaning towards Brooks for sure, but anything can happen.  We will definitely be seeing some tears tonight...  But Des reminds us yet again that this IS a fairy tale!

After a recap of all of the drama and heartaches, it's time for some fun in Antigua!  (Which by the way was our honeymoon destination, which makes me even more excited!)  But first, Des has to remind us about her feelings for all of the guys, and again she makes it clear that she loves Brooks, and only likes the other guys.  She is clearly only looking to him as the winner, but he still isn't feeling the same way- this is going to be bad.  Ten bucks says that Brooks breaks her heart... so sad.

But before the Brooks drama comes Des' overnight date with Drew.  They decide to take a drive around the island to explore, and I fall in love with Drew even more.  Des loves how hot he is, but he is also the sweetest guy in the universe.  I die.  They check out a local festival where they join in some limbo and dance with maracas.  They have a romantic picnic and are literally so freaking adorable together.  Drew!  I wish you could hear me squealing right now.  Love!!  Drew reveals to us that he would get down and propose today if he could, but stupid Des is probably still only thinking about Brooks.  Maybe the fantasy suite will change her mind...  A little rain can't keep Drew down!  Since it has washed away their beach dinner, they may have to get to the suite a little early...  Shockingly, he accepts the invitation to spend the night with her, and she is in for a good night I'm sure...  As they chat, Drew straight up tells her that he is going to propose and that he has a ring picked out, and I really hope she does not break his heart.  Drew loves you, Brooks doesn't!!  Can't you see how perfect he is???  Des does tell us that she wants to give him the world, but I guess for tonight, she can at least give him something else...  Yeah, fantasy suite!

Back to Brooks, who is trying to decide if he loves Des or not?  Des thinks it is so obvious that he loves her, but obviously NOT.  He decides to go back home to talk to his family, who will hopefully help him figure out his true feelings.  Brooks.  If you do not know yet, don't waste our time!  Drew and Chris know their love!  Brooks admits to his family that he would not really want to propose at the end of this, so clearly he is not feeling it.  They all realize that he has too many doubts, but he is afraid to admit that he doesn't love her.  Well duh, you are going to break her heart with this realization!  At least he is being honest and isn't going to propose to someone without knowing if it is right...  But this will crush her!  She does NOT have the same doubts as you.  But maybe this means she'll go running to Chris or Drew now...

Speaking of Chris, he has arrived in Antigua for his date, and I cannot wait.  They are taking a helicopter ride around the island and they are just too precious.  Next, they have an adorable picnic on the beach, in their bathing suits, and I am diggin it.  This beach in-the-waves make out session is super hot, and yes Des, you are lucky.  Chris! Talk about chemistry.  Show me more!  Later on at dinner, they decide to chat about the future.  Dundundun...  Chris asks her if she would be willing to move to Seattle for him and I am nervous about that!  Thankfully she says they can make it work anywhere, because she is ready to settle down.  Chris is so happy that she is willing to move to Seattle, and I'm glad they are at least having this conversation.  Enough of these Bach couples not even living together after the show.  They chat some more and have such a connection and I love it.  Have I said this before?  He is literally the perfect man.  Finally Chris gets the invite to the fantasy suite, and like a gentleman he says he wants to spend more time with her, no expectations.  Okay... clearly your chemistry will be bubbling over tonight!  Chris brings out one last poem to really get her in the mood, and they are ready for some alone time.  They make out a little in the hot tub, and I'm like, get these cameras out!  We all know what is going to happen next!

Finally it is time for Brooks' date, and stupid Des thinks that Brooks is going to get down on one knee today.  And she is ready to say yes today.  What a bitch thing to say- the other guys are great too!  It's time to see her get crushed.  Badly.  Before the date, Brooks needs some alone time with Chris Harrison for some bro talk.  He's such a good counselor.  Chris asks if he is unsure or flat out not in love, and whether or not some time in the fantasy suite would help clear things up.  Oh Chris.  Brooks says that if he doesn't feel it at this point, then she is not the love of his life.  Fair.  Chris Harrison is not satisfied with that answer, and needs Brooks to describe the feeling he would need to feel.  He just doesn't have it, okay!  Give it up and let him go!  Chris pries even deeper- is this because your parents are divorced? Are you just not ready for love?  No!  He just isn't feeling it!  Now let him go break her heart already!  So wait, you are not afraid to commit, you are just not into Des?  How does that weigh on you?  These daggers in the heart from Chris Harrison just won't stop!  He feels bad enough without you "clarifying" his feelings like this.  Chris gives him some final advice to be honest, but we all know this will be bad.  Drama!

Des is so excited and ready for a proposal, but she is about to get hit by a bus instead.  Des can instantly sense something is wrong and is starting to freak out.  They both start to tear up before he can even get the words out, and this is so uncomfortable!  He tells her that he wants to be in love with her, but that he doesn't feel that way, especially when he is away from her.  She cries hysterically and I can't handle it.  She asks why he is telling her this now, and he honestly says he didn't know until now.  Fair.  It's not like he was the last guy left and rejected you!  Not everyone is in love with you, so maybe just go focus on the guys who ARE!  He tries to console her, and she pushes him away.  This crying is getting out of control and really awkward.  Can we shut this off now?  Enough.  Des finally tells Brooks that she loves him and that she does not love the other guys, and this makes Brooks freak.  She was going to tell him that today!  This. Is. Bad.  In other news, she must be wearing all waterproof makeup, because it is still fully intact.  Good work, makeup artists!  Des complains some more about how nobody ever loves her back, and that she has never felt completely loved before.  Hello??? What about those other two GREAT guys that DO love you?  What a bitch.  She finally tells him, "It just sucks that I loved you."  Love it.  She doesn't care that he just broke her heart- she loves him.  Des.  This is all you need to know.  Six words:  He's just not that into you.

Finally they stop hugging and go for a little walk, and it seems like Brooks is starting to feel really bad.  Is he regretting this??  Apparently throughout the entire season Des has been lying to the guys and us, and she never actually liked anyone else.  She only ever wanted to be with Brooks, and she's just been playing everyone else.  What a bitch!  You clearly had your mind made up from week one and just faked it with the other guys. Newsflash: the show is not over and you have two guys left.  Let's see if they even want you now that they know you never wanted them in the first place.  Des does everything she can to make Brooks feel worse than he already does, and I am over her.  You lost ONE guy.  Get over it and be nice to the other guys you have left.  Ugh.  Over you.  I hope you end up alone and that Chris gets a perfect woman way better than you!

Brooks can't bear to leave, and hangs out alone crying, as Des sits on the pier crying alone.  Have I mentioned that I am over this?  30 minutes of crying is more than I can watch in one sitting.  Brooks hopes she is in love with Chris or Drew, but I hope she gets nobody after being so selfish.  Des admits that she doesn't love either of them enough, and that it is over for her.  Well then.  Why do we have a show next week?  To watch her reject the two amazing guys she has left?  This season is clearly a bust, and all I can hope is that Drew or Chris becomes the next Bachelor so we can see them find someone who is not a selfish bitch.  Can't wait to see the sobfest next week!  Get ready for the lamest finale in Bachelor history...  I know I am.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Men Tell All: Meet Juan Pablo!

Tonight the men will tell all about their experiences this season, and one guess what the main topics of conversation will be!  Ben. James. The end.  It should be plenty dramatic, and hopefully we will see some man tears!  So here we go...

First, we get to see Des and Chris Harrison crashing some Bachelorette-watching parties, and again I am royally jealous.  Come to my house and drink wine with me as I blog shit about you!  They also meet up with Ashley and JP to crash some of the parties and I die.  Trista and the Mesnicks join in too as they all ride together on a party bus and I am beyond jealous now.  What did these people do to earn this party?!  Hook me up, ABC! 

Next, we see Des meet up with some former Bachelorettes (Ashley, Emily, and Ali) for some advice on what to say to the guys.  Love the publicity for former Bachelorettes, ABC!  But with 2/3 of them having failed relationships, should we really be talking to them?  Like, Dear Emily, you are a crazy bitch who ruined a perfect relationship with Jef, and you should not being doling out any advice.  Ali tells Des that Ben didn't seem that bad (until the end), and I agree!  She tells Des when to put the guys in their places, and I love it.  We'll see what Des actually does...

Okay, time for the men, finally.  We get reintroduced to many of the guys that we don't even remember, and of course some that we love.  Ben and James both get boos from the crowd, but come on now, they brought us so much entertainment!  First we recap all the drama from 24 men competing for one woman.  Man I forgot about some of this stuff! #fantasysuitefail anyone?? Chris Harrison asks Jonathan about that (as Michael says, no one even remembered him), and he apologizes for taking it too far.  Next, we find out that Brian chose not to come to defend his girlfriend drama, but we'll talk about him anyway.  Take that, Brian!  Everyone agrees that his scheme to come on that show with a girlfriend was a bad plan (oh, really?), but honestly he wasn't even on the show long enough for us to care, so let's get to the good stuff!

Chris Harrison has Ben join him in the hot seat, and we remember his adorable son and the great first impression.  He really was one of my favorites at first! Chris asks him to explain those awful things he said in the limo on his way out.  Legitimately, he was pissed when he was eliminated after being attacked for the entire day, and I would probably have said some bad things too.  Am I a sucker for believing him??  The guys all talk about how he was different off camera, so I guess we just didn't see the bad stuff.  One of the randos accuses Ben of using his son, since apparently the baby mama came up to him and Vegas and told him the "truth" about everything.  That's super random, but I guess we should believe him??  At the end of the day, I don't hate him, and I am over the drama.  But guess who I DO hate???

James, James, James.  Time for the hot seat... We get to see a recap of his great acting skills from this season, and we'll see if the acting will continue tonight...  He explains what really happened in that car with Mikey, and again pins it all on Mikey.  It was just a conversation between real men!  I feel like we need to get Mikey up here...  He continues to insist that he was really in love with Des, and he was just being bullied.  Okay.  Finally Mikey gets to share his take on this, and explains that they were both just venting about not getting the group date rose.  They were just talking about what they would do if they weren't picked.  Okay.  Kasey tries to explain again what he heard and Mikey is NOT having it.  He gets up out of his seat and comes at Kasey and I am a bit scared he is going to physically attack him!  Mikey is NOT happy to be on the cover of Us Weekly as a player!  Really? You don't love that free publicity?  Sure.  Chris Harrison asks James if he would want to be the next Bachelor.  Of course he would- do you know how much money/free stuff they get??  But please, ABC would never do that- we need someone likeable!

Next up, we spend some time with Juan Pablo.  Am I the only one who thinks it is weird that he was barely even on the show, yet he is one of the main contributors tonight?  I get it, he is super hot and sexy, but can we even understand what he says?  And what are his other attributes?  Maybe we will find out tonight.  Chris Harrison even seems mystified as to how he became the fan favorite with so little screen time.  We watch a recap of his time on the show, and okay, he is an adorable/hot/sexy dad and Latin lover all rolled into one.  Why didn't he get more screen time so we could have made a better judgment about him??  We find out just how much he loves his daughter, and that it is hard to date when he has her on the weekends.  He explains that he is a father first and not the stereotypical Latin lover.  He is so sweet... ughhh why didn't we see this side of him on the show???  He would have been a front runner for sure.  Here is hoping that he finds real love!!
The real star of this season... who knew??
Next we get to talk with Zak about his failed quest for love.  We watch a recap of all the different sides of him, and of course his spontaneity!  Poor Zak actually is a really good guy and just wants to find love, and I start to actually feel bad for him.  We also find out that Zak left Des a journal with a secret message/poem written in invisible ink, and Chris Harrison decides to read it aloud.  Geez, shouldn't that be a private thing??  It is actually really romantic, and I am sure Zak will find love after this!!

Oh Des, you were so happy when this thing started..
Finally, Des comes out to confront the guys!  First Chris brings up the #fantasysuitefail and Des apparently throws up in her mouth just remembering that.  Dang.  Jonathan apologizes, and I think he has the most regret (and least time in the house) of any guy this season.  Chris then goes to Ben, and Des admits that she thought he was insincere a lot of the time.  She calls him arrogant and he admits that he does regret things he said.  Then we go to James, who continues to blame everything on the other guys, but after watching the show, Des realized that she was being manipulated by him. Good for you for figuring that out!  Des gets another chance to talk to good ole Juan Pablo, and all he wants to know is why he never got a one-on-one date.  Seriously.  Though she still thinks he is muy caliente!  Next, Des gets to talk to Zak again, and guess what?  He wrote a song for her!  All the women in the world fall in love with him even more, and Des tears up.  Maybe he will get a record deal out of this!  More free publicity!  Women in the audience, by the way, are crying.  Really? It's not THAT emotional- she clearly liked 3 other guys more!

Finally the show wraps up with some humorous bloopers and of course previews of the 2-part finale!!  Apparently, the season will end differently than any other season, but don't they always say that?  But Chris Harrison insists that he REALLY means it this time!  There is going to be so much crying in the last 2 episodes that I can't even handle it.  I really feel like she is going to end up with nobody.  Come on!  All this for nothing?!  I am dying to find out what happens, and I hope that ABC is just really good at editing to make it seem like they all lose.  We'll see next week!  Until then...

Monday, July 15, 2013

Week 8 Recap: The Brother is Back

Home town dates!!  I cannot wait to see what crazy shenanigans will ensue with these guys' families, and who will make the best connection.  Obviously I am rooting for Zak to go home, but we will see...  Oh, and Des' douche brother will be here this week to add a little extra drama to the episode.  I can't wait to hopefully see a repeat of last season!

First up we go to Zak's home, and he warns us that his family is crazy.  Even more crazy than he is.  Apparently his sister may be a little nerve-wrecking to meet, so hopefully this will get awkward.  First, Zak tells Des about a dream he had the night before, which by the way made no sense and was actually crazy, but Des is so positive about his adventurousness anyway!  Next, Zak rolls up in a sno-cone truck, which apparently his family owns?  Is this their life's work?  Zak is so "spontaneous" as he brings Des in the truck to an elementary school where there just happen to be 50+ kids waiting for sno-cones.  They all just randomly showed up!  Zak then changes into a penguin suit (totally unplanned) and Des tells us again how much she loves his spontaneity.  I feel like she needs to rethink how she is using that word...  Finally they head to meet the crazy family and they are all definitely excited to see her.  Wow there is a lot of energy in that room.  Zak's mom is actually insane but also amazing and I want to hang out with her.  And drink wine with her.  The sister is scared that Zak will get hurt, since he seems so happy with Des.  It makes me a little sad to know that he is not going to win.  I mean, he's not.  But can she keep the family?  Zak and his siblings perform a song about how they feel about Des which brings her to tears.  They really are so cute.  Later, Zak gives Des a ring (NOT an engagement ring, okay....) and tells her that he loves her.  I mean, this is really sweet and I like him, but he is not going to win.  Remember Chris, Brooks, and Drew?!  Yeah.

Speaking of Drew, he is next up.  He greets Des with like 1,000 kisses and I cannot handle how adorable he is.  First thing, Drew tells us about his family, including how his divorced parents will both be there together and it could be awkward.  Ohhh great.  They are going to pick up his sister who is intellectually disabled, and I have a feeling that Des' heart will melt for her.  The sister cannot communicate typically, but is so excited to meet Des.  Drew is super sweet with her and we all love him even more.  Drew has a pretty big family and they are all so loving, how can you not want to be a part of this family??  His dad gives him the go-ahead to marry Des and everyone is super supportive.  Just like Drew- so nice!!!  Finally, Drew tells her that he loves her and that he wants her in his life and I die.  So sweet!!!  I really hope this drama shown in the previews is not serious, because I love him. 

Next, we get to visit with Chris.  I can't wait!!  I literally melt when I see him.  Chris takes her to his old baseball field for them to play together and I love it.  His athleticism is making him even more attractive, even if it is baseball and not a real sport, and they look so flippin' cute.  They take a break for Des to show him some drawings that she did, just like his poetry.  How romantic.  She seems nervous about meeting the family, which means she really likes him!  Me too.  Can you tell?  The family welcomes her warmly and she is feeling great.  Des and Chris tell a story that involves Des tweaking her back, and Chris' dad happens to be a chiropractor.  Oh lord.  He decides to give her a little adjustment which Des feels is a little awkward (yes), and Des just wants to talk!  Girl, a free massage?  Live it up!  Pause to note that as Chris goes downstairs to find Des, he tells the family "brb" and I die.  I actually love him even more for that, if that's even possible.  Chris talks to his dad as he gives him a nasal adjustment treatment?  I think this is actually hilarious even if some people think it's weird/gross.  I love this.  His family reveals to Chris that they straight up did not like his last girlfriend (hilarious), so hopefully they will actually like Des!  Luckily his mom likes Des a lot, but I can tell she will never think anyone is good enough for Chris.  But who could be?!  He is perfect.  On top of everything, he loves his mom and treats her well.  DYING.  They have a magical kiss goodbye and seriously- how can she not choose him at the end??  Ahhhh.

Finally it is time for Brooks in good old Salt Lake City.  Time out: are they Mormon?  Is this another Jef situation?  Des tells us first thing that she loves Brooks.  Okay so... really, game over?  Brooks, if you remember, is not sure about Des, and he is hoping that meeting the family will help him figure it out.  He is not feeling the fact that she is spending time with other guys.  Legitimate.  I'm pretty sure I would not be happy about that either...  She gives him a list of all the happy moments they had together to reassure him, but I am worried that this process is not going to work for him. Next, they go out in a canoe in a little lake in a park and they are just so happy together.  But meeting the family is what really matters here...  Brooks has a big family (they must be Mormon, right??), so they are all wearing name tags.  Cute.  Brooks has some serious chats with his siblings to get their take on what makes a good relationship, and it is making him feel good about things.  Which is good!  He tells his mom that he feels close to marriage, but I am not sold.  I'm not totally sure he is ready for marriage, but Des sure does love him.  Brooks is starting to get more excited for a future with Des, but I just don't know if this will work out.  I love him, but I am a little worried.  Plus, if he is indeed Mormon, I'm not sure how that would go.  We'll see...

My pick.
Des' pick.


Now that we have been to the home towns, it is time for the fun to begin- Des' brother is here!!!  Apparently she hasn't even seen her brother since Sean's home town date (really??) but ABC was genius enough to bring him back for some more drama!  Des is still clearly bitter about him screwing up her chances with Sean, but she tries to talk to him about the guys left.  She goes through the rundown that we know by heart: Zak- adventurous, Drew- sweet, Chris- athletic, and Brooks- quirky.  Yup, we have heard this before.  The brother asks to meet the guys now but Des is not sure about that... what if he calls them all playboys??  She sends him off after just a short chat- she really brought him all the way out there for 5 minutes of awkward conversation?  Please.

Before the rose ceremony, Des has a nice little sit down with Chris Harrison for some chit chat about the guys.  Turns out she still loves Brooks even though he is the only one who hasn't said it, so this could get interesting.  She says flat out that she predicts a proposal from Brooks at the end, and we are like, seriously.  Why are you still doing this show then?  To try to make Brooks finally love you back?  I feel like this is not going to end the way she wants.  Clearly Brooks and Chris are her top 2, and I am pretty sure Drew is in 3rd.  But now that her brother is lurking for the rose ceremony, who knows what is going to happen...  Oh wait, nothing.  Are you kidding me that we had all this suspense built up for the brother, but literally nothing happened with it?  Okay, thanks ABC.  Well, Des cries as she prepares to hand out the roses, but as expected they go to Brooks, Chris, and Drew.  Is this season predictable or what??  Zak is devastated of course, and I am the most sad for his awesome little family!  He is so spontaneous as he starts to cry as they say goodbye, and Des knows how he feels.  Flashback to Sean's season and the night she went home.  Oh Zak, please quote Des to Des and tell her she is making a huge mistake.  She gives back the ring and he heads home.  He gives a tearful goodbye from the limo and even throws the ring out the window.  Whatever. 

Next week is the Men Tell All special (already?!) but I don't even care- I want to see who WINS.  We'll see some drama with Ben and James, but I would rather just get to the final episodes!  I can't wait to see how this ends, and hopefully she will find SOMEONE.  Until then...

Monday, July 8, 2013

Week 7 Recap: The Return of Lesley M.!

I swear I haven't watched this week's episode yet, but I am going to put this out there:  If Michael doesn't go home this week, I will pay someone $100.  Not sure who is taking me up on this bet, but I cannot possibly see him making it to hometown dates.  In fact, why is he even still here?  Okay, back to the rest of the show.  We are down to 5 and everyone is heading to Madeira this week!  I hope it is a perfect place to fall in love!!

Des has 3 one-on-one dates, and a two-on-one, but nobody has to go home.  No pressure, just fun! Before that, Des has invited Catherine, Lesley M., and Jackie from last season to help her figure things out.  I wish you could have heard me scream just now.  LESLEY!!!  They all have a cocktail session where Des spills all about the guys.  Catherine tells us how happy she is with Sean (is that awkward for Des?) and then they get to creep on the guys (with binoculars and everything) from a distance to check them out.  This is literally like sightseers at the zoo watching the animals as they show off for the onlookers behind the fence.  What I wouldn't give to be hanging out with them right now!  They compare all the guys (sounds like Drew is a fave), and when Catherine asks who has the biggest you-know-what (assuming she asked that since it was bleeped of course), Des assumes it is Chris.  Winner!  I think my neighbors think I am nuts since I have been shrieking in my house for the past 10 minutes, but I am loving this girl talk and cannot even handle it. 

Okay I guess we need to see some actual dates now...  Brooks gets the first date of the week, and we all hope that he can show his readiness for a serious commitment!  Des drives him up a mountain until they arrive atop a ridiculously high cliff.  So romantic, but so terrifying.  They literally drive up above the clouds, and she is "on the road to falling in love"- get it??  Brooks is between like and love in the clouds trying to find out how he feels.  These metaphors!  Des can see Brooks as her husband and they really are adorable breaking through the clouds AND their relationship.  Lost in cloud nine. Seriously, people.  We get it.  You are in the clouds and also in love.  Enough.  Later, out of the clouds, they have a romantic dinner where Brooks is ready to find out how Des really feels about meeting the family.  Des comes up with some "adjectives" between like and love that describe where they are, which include "stepping, skipping, and running."  Wait, are those adjectives?  Or should someone go back to 5th grade?  Des admits how deep she is falling for him, but Brooks is a little bit apprehensive.  Brooks needs her to meet the fam first- that is legit- but hopefully this doesn't mean that he will be breaking HER heart eventually!  Love him, but getting nervous...  Regardless, he is definitely getting a rose this week.
Literally on Cloud 9!!  (ABC)
Chris gets the next one-on-one date, and I am excited.  Honestly, HOW is he still single?  He is incredible.  Like, perfect. The other guys watch jealously as they board a yacht to go out onto the water.  This is perfect!  They both agree that there is some hot physical attraction, and we can all see that too.  They arrive at a deserted island and have an adorable picnic that actually seems so real.  He is the best.  Chris brought the materials for a message in a bottle and they are going to write a poem together.  So romantic and creative- they both love poetry!  Chris is so genuinely happy and I cannot handle how adorable he is.  LOVE.  Dinner finally rolls around, and Chris is ready to do one important thing: tell Des those 3 little words.  I die.  Hope he gets the courage!  They are having a great convo, but all the sudden Chris gets really nervous and things start to get really awkward.  He has written her another love poem that ends with "I love you," and even though usually I hate this corny stuff, I LOVE it.  Des is so overjoyed and knows he has all the qualities she wants.  If Chris doesn't win, PLEASE make him the next Bachelor.  I want more of him!  I am literally dying. (Plus- we are assuming he has the biggest you-know-what, which is always a bonus...)

Next, Michael finally gets a one-on-one date, but don't worry guys, this shouldn't be threatening to you.  She will realize how lame/confrontational/ugly he is, and he will leave.  Have I mentioned that I am not a fan?  Let's all get ready for this pity date.  They go around exploring and  I literally cannot even look at them holding hands.  Seeing them kiss disgusts me and I just feel like they are both nice people and nothing else.  They take a toboggan ride down a hill, like a roller coaster ride, which is just like love.  Get it?  It is fast and you are scared and there are ups and downs.  Stop.  This is the first time we see real alone time with them, and I am not feeling it.  We find out that Michael comes from a broken home AND has diabetes, and I know that Des does not want to deal with that stuff!  Michael is so happy to be with Des, after previous heartbreak he really feels it with her.  Des thinks he is nice and sincere, but there is no chemistry there, and we all know that matters most!

Finally, Zak and Drew are going on a two-on-one date, where there will be a rose available.  Looks like Des is pitting them in a competition against each other, and we know she just wants to see the 2 hottest bods go at it!  I would.  They both love Des, and I am ready to see these guys fight for her.  They end up at a race track where they will race go-karts for Des.  Drew is adorable and is definitely showing a more adventurous side that Des wanted to see.  Love!  Zak reminds us that love is like that adrenaline that you feel when racing, and I appreciate that metaphor (simile?) for sure.  He wins the race and is hoping to win her heart as well!  Drew is upset, but ready to share his true feelings!  Des takes her one-on-one time with Zak first, since he won of course, and Zak pulls out something special for her.  It's an artistic scrapbook of their time together.  Cute, but do others remember the time he came out of the limo shirtless the first night, then jumped into the pool to earn his first rose??  I feel like this is another Lindsay (from Sean's season) situation, where he starts out crazy but ends up being cool, but is still not marriage material!  Finally Drew gets some alone time, and I swoon.  He is so excited to bring her home and show another side of himself.  He admits that he has fallen in love with her (though he hasn't said those words specifically), they kiss, and I die.  Team Drew!  Des gives the rose to Drew and I am beyond happy.  Zak is classy and acts happy for him, but inside he is not okay.  The rose ceremony is that night, and Zak is getting nervous. Honestly, I would be fine if he went home too, but I am pretty confident it will be Michael. We'll see...

The guys are all starting to panic in time for the rose ceremony, and Des calms herself with a nice chat with Chris Harrison.  Des admits that Drew is the best looking guy she has ever met (agreed) and he is definitely husband material.  She then smiles about Brooks and admits that she has hit the finish line (aka in love) with him.  So, game over?  He wins already?  She starts to cry about being in love, and I'm like, what about Chris??? And Drew???  However, Brooks hasn't said that he loves her, and it makes her nervous.  Things are getting complicated!  It is clear that Brooks and Chris will get roses, so now it depends on Zak or Michael.  Who even cares, neither of them is winning.  As predicted, Michael is sent home- SHOCK- and I am ready to collect my hundred bucks from whoever would have bet me otherwise.  Des walks him out and explains the reasoning, but really all she needs to say is: I don't like your face.  Goodbye.  He calls his mom to break the news and she consoles him- he doesn't get why this happens!  I know: you need to stop going for hot girls.  They don't want you. Anyway, my three favorites and Zak are getting hometowns next week, and I cannot wait!  Oh, and Des' douchebag brother will be back!  Looking forward to it!  Until then...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Week 6 Recap: Auditions for the Jersey Shore

Again, I am a bit late on my post this week due to a little vacation, but I am ready to find out what happens!  Remember all the drama that started with James, but never came out to Des??  It's ALL coming out this week, and I cannot wait. Get ready for some more tears!!  They are all in Barcelona for the week, which of course Des thinks is the perfect place to fall in love!  There are a lot of lame-o's left and I am hoping that at least 2 of them get sent home this week.  We find out that there will be no cocktail party this week, so time with Des is precious!!

Drew gets the first one-on-one date, and I am so happy!  He is adorable and has not had enough screen time for me yet.  As Des says, he is passionate about romance (redundant?), so she cannot wait to hang out with him in the city.  I actually love seeing them kiss (he is so cute!), and even though he is "reserved," they are having a great time on this date!  Drew admits about his family history and his father's struggle with alcoholism, and we all love a good sob story.  He is so positive about things though, and we all love it, including Des.  P.S. I love when people open up about something for the first time ever on national television... anyone else find that fascinating??  Later, they end up in this super romantic little square for a private dinner, and Drew's emotions are going CRAZY.  He decides to steal her away as the cameras rush to follow, and they have a SUPER hot make out sesh in an alley, and if it weren't for all the cameras, this would be amazing.  Des loves how emotional he is, and she knows she can trust him.  He gets the rose, they make out some more, and we just DIE of the romance.  But THEN, Drew decides to bring up the James drama... Nooooo do not ruin this happy moment!!!  Thank goodness that Des trusts Drew so much, and she is happy that he exposed James and told the truth.  And she is definitely pissed at James, as we saw with a fair amount of bleeping in her interview.  Love it.

At the hotel the next day, Drew tells his buddies about the James situation, and Michael and Kasey are excited to see how things go down on the group date.  The group date involves 6 guys playing soccer (futbol?), and this could get dicey.  Des decides that she is going to give James the benefit of the doubt, in case things were taken out of context, so we will see...  Meanwhile, I wonder who is going to look the best on the soccer field??  Brooks informs us that Juan Pablo's name is directly translated to: You have no chance, and I am going after Desiree on this soccer field.  I die.  This is why we love Brooks!!  Des tells the guys that they will be playing a game vs. Des' team, which is 6 girls.  All the guys laugh that the girls will have no chance, but we find out that they are a pro team from Spain, and I hope these girls destroy them.  Michael tells us that it is okay to kick a girl, and they are heating things up!  Don't the guys know that letting Des win is the way to her heart??  James plays goalie, and lets literally every ball through, and everyone can tell that he is not feeling it (even Des!).  The girls win easily, but the real game is just beginning OFF the field!
My kind of game... (ABC)
The guys all head to Des' place for a late night date to "kick it with Des."  These guys and their jokes!  First Des brings Chris up to her room (dang, girl!) and they just hang out on the bed. Des!  Moving so fast!  Des reads the poem that she wrote for him at the airport, and it is so sweet.  We get it Des, you love Chris.  Meanwhile, Kasey decides he needs to talk to James and get this drama out there.  Michael agrees that they need to address it.  I am worried that Kasey is too obsessed with this whole thing, and I hope it doesn't ruin his chances with Des.  I am starting to feel like he needs to back down.  Kasey tells James what he heard, and James puts on his best acting face and looks shocked and confused.  Or more like, "oh shit, nobody was supposed to hear that."  Des has some nice alone time with Brooks while the other guys hash out their drama, which is good for him.  I love him too, ugh!  Downstairs, James denies everything, and puts it all on Mikey.  All the sudden, James comes at the other guys, and granted, Michael is the most angry even though he wasn't even there to overhear all this. James' anger is really getting intense as he tells everyone to eff off and continues to deny it all.  What is this, his audition for the Jersey Shore??  Well, the cameras will reveal all! (Except when they are conveniently off, of course.)  Kasey spends his alone time with Des telling her about the James drama, and Des seems happy that she told the truth.  Unfortunately, Des is pretty pissed off and sends the other guys home without handing out the rose.  Des tells us that shit is about to hit the fan, but will she be too nice to send him home??

Finally Des confronts James and tells him that she believes what the guys told her.  James struggles to defend himself and again pins it all on Mikey.  He swears on his dad that he never said anything about the girls and the boats, and that the worst case is that he could become the Bachelor.  Yikes.  Apparently the guys were all just ganging up on him and he feels so excluded.  This acting.  He starts to turn away and tear up, and I am gagging here.  James promises that this is just tough and he does want to be here, but he doesn't know how he will feel next week.  Okay...  It literally sounds like Des is talking to a child trying to get him to admit that he stole the cookies from the jar.  This is painful to watch, and we all know she just needs to get this crap out of here.  She takes a minute to think, but decides that she needs to sleep on it to process everything.  This is too much, and James feels robbed and shocked.  Get out of here.  Back at home, the guys talk about the situation, and James cries on the way home for being attacked.  Do you even like Des??  He doesn't want to live with these guys anymore, but guess who comes home??  James walks in and simply says, "Gentlemen.  Goodnight."  Love it.

Oh yeah, we have one more date this week, and Zak is a little worried that Des will be distracted for this date.  Des wakes up feeling bad and needs a break from the drama in the house.  Nothing like Zak to do that!  Is it just me, or does Zak remind anyone else of a cartoon character?  They spend the day doing some artwork, and I really hope they are going to paint a nude model.  Alas, the model is clothed, but it is fun to see their artwork.  They decide to draw each other, and Zak's picture of Des is literally the worst thing I've ever seen.  Oh wait, the model comes back in and poses totally nude, full frontal, and Zak's face is priceless.  They both look horrified and uncomfortable, but do the painting as well.  Zak decides to surprise Des by putting on the model's robe and we all hope he will be nude.  He takes off the robe to reveal tighty-whiteys, and flexes his bod.  This is definitely the best way for him to win Des' heart, as she cannot get enough of his muscles.  Luckily they go to a romantic dinner in a cave so that Zak can prove he is more than a hot bod and a good kisser.  She loves that he is so fun and engaging, but I do not see them together forever.  He is positive and adventurous, but I feel like he is not the settling down type- this show is just another adventure.  Des will see it soon enough, I hope.  He gets the rose, and I like him, but he is not the one.  He'll be adventurous, but he won't settle down.

Back at the hotel, James talks to Drew some more about the issue, and he really is delusional.  The men think the only focus should be on ending up with Des (of course), and they shouldn't even be considering becoming the next Bachelor.  Fair.  James thinks it is legit to think about a future with Des, or as the next Bachelor.  Man, I really hope he does become the next Bachelor.  That would be great.  The next morning, the guys are all hanging out and when James walks in the room just goes silent.  So. Awkward. Des comes in and takes James away to finish their chat, and the suspense is killing me!  The guys don't expect him to come back, but I have a bad feeling about this...  Des says she is ready to send him home, but I still don't believe it yet!  She sits down with him to talk, but I feel like she just needs to get it done.  Can we talk about the other guys standing on the balcony watching this whole thing in the background?  Love it.  Des starts to get fooled by James' facade and she cannot stay strong.  Don't believe his crap, Des, he is a salesman!  Think about all those good guys you have that did NOT do this to you back at the hotel! He basically begs Des to keep him around and she falls for it and he thanks her profusely for keeping him here.  This is who you want as your future husband!?  Idiot.  James goes back and tells the guys about the talk he had, and Chris cannot hold his tongue- James says becoming the Bachelor would be a win-win situation, but why is he even thinking about that?!?  I cannot wait until Des sees this footage.  Wow.

The guys are ready to start a mutiny if this rose ceremony does not go the way they want, and I really hope she is not going to be a moron about this.  She is sending home THREE guys tonight, which is unexpected, and I am worried for some of my faves!!  Mainly Kasey- don't shoot the messenger!  Chris gets the first rose (no surprise there- love him!), and Brooks gets the second (again, no surprise).  And the final rose of the night goes to...  Michael.  WHAT?!?  He is so unattractive I cannot even handle it!  Juan Pablo going home is no surprise- he was hardly even on the show, James we all say good riddance to, but Kasey makes me sad.  I love him, but I guess I never really saw a connection.  Michael makes another lawyer reference about James being found guilty, and I cannot believe he is still around.  I am fairly happy with the top 5, and I am confident that Chris, Brooks, and Drew will be the top 3. We can only hope!  Previews show that Drew is going to break her heart at the last minute (WHAT?) and that every guy left is going to cry at some point.  So much drama to come!  Is she going to end up alone?!?  I can't wait to find out...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Week 5 Recap: America's Next Bachelor??

This week is shaping up to be ridiculously tearful- for Des AND the guys!  These men are literally more caddy and dramatic than women and I don't know if I can handle the emotion that is coming.  The gang heads to Germany and we'll see what kind of beer-induced shenanigans ensue.  This is Des' first time in Europe- I hope it isn't marred by all the hysterical crying!  This week we will also get our first 2-on-1 date, which are always my favorite- so dramatic and awkward- so I am ready!

Chris gets the first one-on-one, and I am happy.  He is really handsome and just a nice guy, and I think they are good together!  They are going to wander around Munich, and hopefully do something more that will actually be exciting to watch.  Meanwhile, back at the hotel Bryden is still having doubts about his feelings towards her, and sadly I think he just has a lot of stuff going on (PTSD, I'm telling you), and I am not surprised.  He decides he needs to go home, and he cannot wait even a day to tell her.  It needs to be now- during Chris' date.  Yikes...  Des and Chris are having a great time being goofy and playing around in the city, and they even dance awkwardly in the middle of a crowd of bystanders.  Chris is so happy and thinks nothing can go wrong- oh wait- here comes Bryden.  Bryden wanders around asking people on the streets if they have seen tv cameras (could he not just ask the ones following him to call them??), and eventually shows up in the crowd watching Des and Chris dancing.  Shit is about to get really uncomfortable.  Bryden ambushes them and Chris is such a gentleman about it, as Bryden takes Des away to talk.  Des is so nice that she doesn't even know what is coming!  Everyone is freaking out, but I mean, it's better for him to leave now than stay and not want to be there.  She can't expect them ALL to be in love with her, since she clearly is not in love with all of them!  Des doesn't seem to mind at first, and at least she could kind of see it coming.  She's just pissed that he did it during this date, but it gives Chris a chance to show how great HE is in comparison.  He is so sweet about it all, and I love him even more.  They go to a romantic dinner in a castle, just like royalty, and it's really adorable.  Chris is such a good guy- how has he not found someone yet?!? He wants a relationship and a family, he is hot, and he is amazingly sweet.  Oh, AND he wrote her a love poem that makes her cry.  Come on!!  The girls will be lining up to get with him if Des doesn't pick him.  He gets the rose, of course, and we have a new front runner here!

Back at the hotel, we find out that the 2-on-1 is going to Ben and Michael.  Clearly she did this because she plans to keep Ben, but maybe Michael will finally be able to expose Ben for the fraud that everyone keeps insisting he is.  Doubtful.  See ya, Michael.  But before that, we have to check out the group date, with Kasey, Brooks, and some guys we don't care about.  They are at the highest peak in Germany and are going to play in the snow.  Yay, snow!  They ride the gondola to the top, and it is majestic/terrifying up there.  Suddenly we all hear a yodeler, and the guys all give yodeling a try. Love it.  Next, they all take sleds down the mountain. This looks dangerous, and Drew even collides into Des.  We are then reminded that, you know, love is like sledding down this hill.  From day one they pushed off, and they let themselves go completely.  Wow, Zak, thank you for the banal metaphor. Time to go warm up.  They all head into an ice mansion/hotel/igloo stocked with pretzels and beer, and Des warns them that if they don't like, her, they need to leave.  Brooks is ready to reassure her.  Love him!  Seriously, why are some of these guys still single?  Des just wants to make out with Brooks (gotta stay warm!), and their connection is certain.  Next, Mikey proposes making little snowmen, and Des' face lights up like a kid on Christmas.  That's too much, Des. It's snowmen.  Meanwhile, Zak is creeping on them and finally yodels to get her attention, ruining Mikey's time.  Zak makes a couple more metaphors and gets super existential.  Can he just have a normal conversation? Next.  The guys start to question James, and I get such a douche vibe from him.  This two-sided jerk!  Watching them make out is actually making me want to vomit.  He is gross.  Hopefully someone will call him out.  Luckily, Brooks gets the rose, and I am happy.  Can we see some alone time with Kasey or Drew please??  Annoying.
Being on a mountain is just like their love! (ABC)
Next up, the ridiculously tense 2-on-1 date.  My prediction: Michael will try to call out Ben, Des will get pissed, and Michael will go home.  Clearly Des wants Michael's help to expose Ben's douchiness, right?  Oh Michael. Innocent, naive little Michael...  He can't wait to declare Ben guilty of fraud and impersonation of a Southern gentleman. Michael immediately says that he loves confrontation, and Ben should know that, and we cannot handle the awkwardness.  Des decides that since she didn't man up to do the polar bear plunge on Sean's season, they will do it today.  That sounds awful.  They all get suited up, but guess what?? She tricked them!! Instead, they get to take a hot tug through the lake.  Literally a hot tub boat.  That is amazing.  Screw awkward, this looks awesome.  Michael keeps bringing up Ben's son and ex, and it is just too much. Clearly he is trying to call out Ben, and Des is not feeling that.  Ben tries to bite his tongue, but Michael is just being a jerk.  This will backfire, you idiot!

Back at the house, we hear that James has been talking about his true intentions for being on the show.  He hopes to become the next Bachelor, or at least become the king of Chicago and hook up with hot, rich women on Mikey's boat.  Oookay.  Drew and Kasey overheard all this, and they are going to bring this to Des.  The alliance of my top 4 (Brooks, Chris, Drew, and Kasey) are having a private meeting about this, but they of course fear that this will make Des wary of ALL of them.  She better not take this out on my faves!

Meanwhile, Michael is still calling out Ben and throwing him under the bus, and she just keeps on chugging her wine.  Too much!  It's like Des is just witnessing a boys bickering match, and Ben is being forced to defend everything he's ever done.  He's actually being rather classy about it, and finally excuses himself to blow off some steam.  I would be pissed too!  Ben is done being nice, but I think he needs to just let Des get rid of Michael the awkward jerk.  Des is ready to possibly let them both go, but we'll see...  Michael knows that he messed up, Ben didn't fall into the trap, and now Des will give Ben the benefit of the doubt and give him more alone time.  At least she acknowledges that it's a red flag that he doesn't get along with the other guys, but we don't really see the bad things either!  Next, Des questions Michael about what the problem is with Ben, and the truth comes out.  At this point, just send them both home.  Over it.  In a CRAZY turn of events, Michael gets the rose!! WHAT just happened??  Michael is ugly and awkward and a jerk, and she should have just sent him home too.  Ben is losing his shit as he storms out, but does give Des a nice goodbye.  Gotta keep up the nice guy image so his bar business can flourish!  Michael will go home next week, so I'm not too worried about any of this.  Back at the hotel, the guys all celebrate when Ben's suitcase is taken away, and then in the limo Ben gives one final message to ABC: They missed out on having someone for the next Bachelor. A single dad from Texas.  Clearly he would've been the best choice.  He then asks the cameramen, where are we getting drunk tonight for my last night in Munich?  WELL, looks like we finally gets to see his douchebag side!  Alright, good call, Des. 

One douche gone, now for the next one- James.  The guys are ready to call him out before the rose ceremony!  Des arrives at the castle (what a fairytale!) and she wants to do something different.  She has a meaningless conversation with Chris Harrison, though he does ask who the best kisser is.  Physically, who does she want to make out with right now? Jeez, Chris, this is getting graphic!  Can we just get to the ceremony, please?  Des decides not to even have a cocktail party, because she knows who is going home.  Dang!  Chris really wants to have this party and tries to convince her, but she knows, darn it!  I guess the guys won't have a chance to tell her the truth about James after all. Oh, but James gets the chance to say "You look beautiful," and that is it.  Wow, that was necessary.  Someone is nervous...  Des is ready to hand out the roses and all eyes are on James.  But clearly he will get one tonight.  Zak, Kasey, Juan Pablo (was he even in this episode??), and Drew get roses, and I am happy that my faves are all still in!  And the final rose goes to... James!  Duh.  That means Mikey goes home, and again, nobody cares.  Drew is VERY angry about James staying around, and I am sure things will heat up next week with this drama.  It looks like Des will be back in tears and she will be taking it out on the guys, not James.  No!!  We will see how this turns out, but as long as my top 4 are safe, I will be happy.  I can't wait!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Week 4 Recap: Tap Dancing & Pelvic Thrusts

Well, it is week 4, and I am excited, as always.  You may notice that I am a day or so late on this post, and I must apologize to my loyal fans!  I have family in town so I have to hang out with them of course, so I am a bit delayed.  I am also a bit wine-drunk, so this should be fun!  Can't wait to see what happens this week!  Chris Harrison announces that they are off to explore the world- to Atlantic City!!! Really?  That's the best the world can do?  Good work, ABC.  Did they mention that it was winter at the time of this recording?  In New Jersey?  Good choice.  Regardless, the guys are psyched to see Des, so let's see what happens!!!

The first one-on-one goes to Brad. WHO?  Super quiet, and remember, he has a kid? Not for Des. I agree with the other guys.  Let him go sooner than later.  Well Des is having a great time on the date on the boardwalk, but I think it is her love for chocolate that really shines through when they get to the sweets factory.  I feel like this date is fun because Des can have fun with everyone, not because of Brad.  He. Is. Boring.  The guys all keep insisting that he is not the right guy for her, and I can't help but agree.  Please move on.  Not even ABC wants this date to happen- hence why they are breezing through it.  Or does it just seem that way since I've already had 5 glasses of wine tonight? 

Next, Des and Brad head to a romantic convo in a sandcastle?  Am I the only one who is thrown by the fact that she is wearing a coat and scarf? Wow, looks fun. This date is lame and Des does NOT want to be the stepmother to his child!  Sorry.  They then go to dinner and he is literally the lamest most boring person ever.  Des is too nice and can't handle the thought of sending him home.  I think this is the first time we have actually seen people EAT on their date- I guess because they are not talking at all. Time to cut this guy, Des. If you can't even hold a dinner convo... this is DONE.  They try to drag on some awkward chats, but I cannot even deal.  Dear Des, it is not good enough that he is a "family man," you need to CLICK.  They end up walking up to the lighthouse but I cannot even deal with this. Finally Des grows some balls and tells him what we all can obviously see, and sends him home.  This. Is. Awkward. Way to make him walk ALL the way to the top of the lighthouse just to send him all the way back down.  Bitch move.  Well, she sends him home, and nobody cares.  The guys are happy, and nobody is shocked.  Brad cries and we don't even feel bad.  Can we get some real drama please??

Back at the house we get our group date card for the night, and everyone but James is called.  The guys are ready, and I am ready to get this narrowed down even more!  Des has something "fun" planned, and we find out that they will be competing in their own Mr. America pageant.  YES.  I cannot wait to see this.  Swimsuit competition anyone??  Their pageant consultant is AMAZING and flamboyant and I love love love him.  This is going to be ridiculous.  Figuring out the talents is crazy, and we find out that Juan Pablo knows how to spin a baton like a pro, and Chris enjoys wearing women's heels.  Hmm.  The current Miss America helps the guys prep for the interview portion, and finally, the guys get ready to rock their swimsuits- many of which are speedos- and I am back to excited. Let's get this pageant started! Before we begin, Chris Harrison informs us that the guys will be performing in front of a live crowd, of course.  So jealous of that crowd.  They start with the interview portion, and Kasey gives a great answer to start us off, about how he likes to give.  Ohh yeah. We see some more great answers, find out that Juan Pablo has a daughter (did we know that?) and see Mikey's sensitive side. On to the talents, where adorable Kasey does a tap dance routine, Mikey does something meathead-ish, Brooks does a crazy ukelele routine, Bryden pelvic thrusts, and Zak W. sings us a lovely song.  Then of course we got the swimsuits- hottt!  And finally the results!  Brooks takes 2nd runner up, Zak W. 1st runner up, and my fave Kasey wins Mr. America!  So excited for him.  #pageantking
Yes.  (ABC)
Later, the guys go out to a cocktail party with Des, and Brian busts out some poetry. Des loves writing poetry too, wow what a coincidence! He must have stalked her to find that out.  Next we hear again how much everyone hates Ben, yes again, and how he never talks about his son. Oh wait, he starts talking about his son.  She likes him, so does America, get over it. Next Zak W finishes his song for Des and we all swoon. I mean, cute, but too much??  Time to pass out the rose (without even giving Bryden any one on one time), what the hell, and Zak W gets it. Because of the song?? Okay..  Bryden is pissed as he should be, and everyone is ready to be really honest with Des!

Meanwhile, James is ready for his one on one date!  He is excited but I do not think he is right for her. We will see...  Today's date will be the opposite of extravagant, as they are going to see the damage from Sandy. Ugh so depressing and real! Des wants to shed light on what happened and I clearly cannot make fun, so I'll take a break and just watch. Des and James now have a bond and we can't trash on it!  They meet an adorable older couple who are rebuilding from the storm and the couple is honored to meet Des!  Sweet, but so backwards. Another touching moment and we really need to get back to the relationship drama. Sorry.  Des and James decide to give their date to the couple who lost so much and I am so touched and am literally tearing up that this cute old couple will get this Bachelor-style date, including a limo taking them to Atlantic City. Okay this is sweet and I just love Des.  James goes in for the kiss and I'm like, not the time James. This is an emotional day, no time for romance! They then go off to find some casual dining somewhere. Meanwhile we get to watch the older couple on their date (why can't they just enjoy their date in peace??) but we are all so touched!  Anyway, James is really cute and they have a nice dinner, but I still don't think he's the right guy.  James decides to be honest and share that he cheated on a past girlfriend and I feel like Des gets a bit uneasy. Omg you cheated once in college?! Please. Move on. Who didn't?  He admits that he will never do it again so we will see what happens...  It comes time to give out the rose (or is that for Jan and Manny now?) and James gets it. Shock. I will admit, it was so nice what they did on this date, but it definitely wasn't too romantic, so I am not sure what will happen if they get another date... Darius Rucker sings for them all but I'm just like, is this episode over yet?

Finally it is time for the cocktail party and rose ceremony and I cannot wait to get someone out of here!  We find out that Bryden is not really feeling it, and he isn't sure he would even accept the rose. What the heck?!  I love you Bryden!  Des is hoping to narrow it down to husband prospects, and I know who I would send home. But she is too nice!  Like, Mikey G? No. Get him out. Funny is not the only thing you need.  I do really like Brian and she should keep him around I'm sure.  It's time for Bryden to talk to her and I am nervous. He is feeling like things are slowing down and I don't like it!  Des senses the struggle but she likes him, so who knows what she will do!!  He is still doubting and he definitely has some kind if PTSD emotional distress like I thought. Anxiety for sure. But I am rooting for him!

We get to the rose ceremony and only 1 guy is getting sent home.  So slow to cut these guys! Get rid of at least 2! Boring.  I love that she keeps Juan Pablo. Yeah, he is really husband material... Hot, yes. Husband, probably not.  My faves like Ben and Kasey get roses, and even Bryden accepts his.  The final rose goes to Mikey, blah, sending home Zack (not W)- who??  And even though he is shocked, I am not. Do we even really know him??  Over it. Get to next week, please!!  

Next week they are headed to Germany for some craziness and drama!  Apparently James is not here for the right reasons, shock, and Ben gets some more exposure, double shock. Can't wait for these guys to turn on each other even more! Stay tuned!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Week 3 Recap: It's not called 'Let's Make Friends'

Tonight there are 16 men still vying for Des' heart.  I can't wait to see the drama that will inevitably ensue tonight- hopefully we will find out what the big problem is with Ben, and of course whose girlfriend shows up!  The first date of the night is a group date and oh no, BEN is on the date.  Ugh, how horrible for the other guys.  Please.  Des is SO excited because the guys will be playing... Dodgeball!  Yeah!  Men!  This should get intense.

I could watch this forever... (ABC)
Des is excited to see the guys in their "natural state," aka hot sweaty men physically competing for her.  In case you were wondering, yes, that is every girl's dream.  Just when it looks like the whole date will consist of the pro team kicking the guys' asses, Chris Harrison shows up to explain the real competition- red team vs. blue team for extra time with Des!  Chris has created the teams by himself, and I am hoping he just stacks one team against the other.  That makes it more fun!  Not only are the guys competing, but they are competing in tight shorts in front of a hug crowd.  LOVE.  Des is literally dying laughing, and what I wouldn't give to be in her place.  Ahh, boys.  I decide to root for the blue team, since I love Drew and I do like Ben!  They win the intense first game, but the red team takes the second game- all tied up!  So much suspense!  This is for all the marbles.  Or as (who?) explains, marbles in this case would be time with Des tonight.  Ohhh, I wasn't sure what you meant by marbles, thanks for that explanation, guy who matters so little that I don't remember your name.  Well the third game starts and right away Brooks falls the to the ground.  I swear it looks like he is grabbing his balls, but apparently it is his finger.  Des just wants to help him feel better- his poor broken finger!  He is shipped off the to hospital and the game resumes, and YAY blue team wins!  Zak is able to take down Chris at the end, and Des is so impressed!  She decides, why not take all the guys to the after party!? That was NOT the point, Des. Whatever, on to the rest of the date...

Meanwhile at the hospital, Brooks is all hooked up to a million wires and machines- all for a finger?  I mean, I've never broken a finger, but this seems excessive.  Des has a hard time keeping her mind off of Brooks (they ARE perfect for each other), but then she sees 9 other hotties around her and quickly moves on.  One of the guys whose name I also can't remember (Brad?) confesses to Des that he has a son and Des just eats that up. She loves kids!  As the night goes on, Des spends time with each of the guys, and they are panicking about the rose per usual. Chris surprises Des by finding a "special spot" on the roof!  How did he find this place?!?  Because it's a roof.  Every building has one.  They have a romantic chat and Chris is feeling confident with her.  Phew. I like him enough, I guess he's fine.  Finally, Brooks makes a miraculous recovery and shows up at the date in his uniform and splinted finger.  Des is smitten and they have a little make out sesh in the middle of the group date.  Love it.  Even though Brooks went through SO much to be with her, Chris gets the rose and extra bonus time with Des (private concert!).  The other guys watch them dancing/kissing and get even more jealous.  I guess I like Chris- he seems very nice and normal, which is always a plus for this show. 

Kasey gets the one-on-one date card, and I am SO excited to hear what hashtags he comes up with for the date!  But before the date, Des gets a sketchy call from Chris Harrison.  He has some bizarre news.  Uh oh!  Des is ready to head to the house to confront one of these bastards.  Someone here is being rude and playing a game.  NOT okay.  Well, it's Brian.  Do we even know him that well?  Des asks him if there is anything he needs to tell her, and if he is here for the right reasons.  And he just LIES about it.  Well, in comes Chris Harrison with some woman, aka Brian's girlfriend! Oh snap!  Well Stephanie breaks down and starts going ballistic, and it turns out that he has been lying to her the whole time.  AND she has a son who Brian is a role model for.  Holyyyyy moly.  Des and Chris try to mediate this situation, and this guy is clearly just a douche.  They slept together 2 days before he came on the show!  Stephanie is just trying to help Des and expose him as a jerk, and I'm like, okay okay, just send him home and let them work this out on their own.  Chris asks Des if there is ANY chance he is staying on the show, and Des says not a chance.  Don't worry, none of us were rooting for him anyway.  Moving on.  Brian is escorted out, and the guys all try to act like they weren't eavesdropping on the whole thing.  Don't worry, Chris explains the whole thing in case they didn't figure it out on their own.  Des gives them all the chance to admit anything they need to tell her, but nobody speaks up, and hopefully that means they are all good guys!  This situation does bring Brandon to tears thinking about this poor single mother who Brian left, and I cannot handle this emotion.  Brandon, get yourself together.  You are nuts.

Finally we get to Kasey's date, and hopefully Des will be able to focus on him!  They go out to explore Hollywood, and they are ready for some fun!  They come across some people dancing on the side of a building, and they are going to try it too!  This should be interesting.  They start having a great time, but finally reach the point of exhaustion.  They actually go to have a "normal" date on top of the building, and all of the sudden these intense winds start blowing.  They decide to jump into the pool to avoid the wind, and apparently that is freezing too.  This date.  Such a disaster.  They end up inside in a stairwell, and Des does give Kasey the rose. I think she was just trying to end that date once and for all. What a bummer!  I love Kasey but this date was a bust.  #fail

Oh and I could watch this forever too... (ABC)
The final date card is for another group date- this time there are only 5 of them, so it should be a little more intimate.  This date involves some acting/fake fighting/stunts, and I can't wait to see more guys getting physical!  Get ready for boot camp!  The guys get all dressed up in cowboy gear, and Des is loving it.  The guys get the chance to try out some cowboy skills and ride some horses to fight to become the Lone Ranger.  Juan Pablo does all his lines in Spanish (SEXY!), and Des is clearly keeping him around based on his hot hot hotness.  She chooses him for her Lone Ranger, and they get extra time together to preview The Lone Ranger (plug from ABC, anyone?).  Des is distracted by him, and I mean, who wouldn't be?  He screams sex and even though they have no future, she should definitely keep him around for some fun in the fantasy suite, if you know what I mean...

Later, Des realizes there are 4 other guys waiting for her, and she spends some more time with each of them.  I still love love love Bryden, even if he is a little reserved and shy to make the moves, they definitely have a connection and I want him to stick around for sure.  Zak also makes a connection with her tonight, and I do not know how she will narrow this down.  There are so many good guys that make her laugh!  James shows his loving/caring side, and Des is eating it up.  In fact, she gives him the rose because he opened up so much and she needs to reassure him that she wants him around.  You gotta play the insecure card every once and awhile!  And the other guys are devastated.

Instead of a cocktail party this week, Des decides to invite the guys to a daytime pool party.  Oh, did she just want to see everyone shirtless?? Amazing plan.  America thanks you, Des.  But before the party even starts, Ben whisks her away on a car ride for a little extra time.  This is a great strategy, but the guys see it as a "character flaw."  Okay, you are clearly all just jealous.  What angers them most is that he lies and tells them he didn't have any time with her yet.  How dare he lie to the other guys!  Please.  Thank you Ben for realizing "It's not called 'Let's Make Friends'."  Anyway, Brandon gets the chance to talk to Des about his emotional breakdown the other day, and essentially tells her he wants to "guard and protect her heart" a la Ali's Kasey, and I cannot deal with him. Too much too soon!

It's time for the rose ceremony, and I really hope she sends home the guys whose names I can't even remember.  And Brandon.  To my surprise, she keeps some randos around, and some not so-hotties, and I am over it.  The final rose of the night goes to Ben (shock!), and poor Brandon gets sent home.  After he told her he was falling in love with her?!  He is literally going to kill himself, and I am kind of scared for his life.  He tells her she is making a mistake and walks away, and Des goes after him to explain that she just isn't feeling it, and it needed to be sooner than later.  Agreed!  Get your shit together!  He can't even cry- he is out of tears.  Dear God.  Dan is also sent home, not a big deal since we didn't really know him. 

It looks like next week will bring more Ben drama, and apparently Bryden is going to be the one to bring it up- Nooooo!  That never ends well!  Hopefully Bryden won't shoot himself in the foot, and we will see what Des thinks about the whole thing.  Stay tuned for all the action!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Week 2 Recap: Watch Them Superman That Ho

Tonight is the first night of dates on The Bachelorette!  I cannot wait to see who she picks, who cries, and who makes a fool of himself.  I have a feeling the drama is already getting started!  The first date of the night is a one-on-one, and Chris Harrison explains to the men what that means, since clearly we don't know how the show works.  For the first date with Des, she chooses... in my opinion the ugliest guy in the house... Brooks.  Ugh. Maybe it's the long hair, but I am not feeling it.  Des is so excited and feels like a princess of course!  The other guys are so jealous and I am like geez guys, act more girly.  Oh well, let's see what Des has planned...

The more I look at Brooks, the less I dislike him.  I feel like with a good haircut, he could actually be pretty smokin.  Des takes him to a wedding dress boutique since it is what she loves, and they are just ready for the big day!  Brooks has to pretend he is having a good time watching her try on dresses, but once they get out and about and hit up the cupcake truck, people swarm them and they are both loving it.  They then take a drive up a mountain- still in the wedding dress/tux by the way (did she have to pay for that?  Because she is about to trash that dress), and they end up at the Hollywood sign! Jealous.  She tells him how most people don't get to do this, but luckily ABC hooked her up!  No of course she has a different explanation.  They have a romantic date on the Hollywood sign, and it is so symbolic of sitting on the top of the world!  Why does literally everything they do on these shows have to be symbolic of something?  Why can't it just be a cool experience?  Brooks shows off his sensitive and romantic side, and I guess I like him... he actually is pretty perfect for Des- they both love love!  They kiss on top of the sign- super cute- and okay I think he will go pretty far. Just please cut the hair!!!  Later, after they have changed back into normal clothes, Des drives them up to a closed road and omg- she suggests that they move the signs and drive onto the bridge anyway!  Oh no, what will happen!?  A dinner for 2 on a closed bridge. I have definitely seen this on a Bachelor (maybe Bachelor Pad) episode before- think of something new, please.  They have a serious talk about their parents and things get emotional- they are connecting on such a deep level!  p.s. Is it just me, or does Des look like she is going to cry 100% of the time?  Why are her eyes so watery?  Anyway, he gets the rose and I feel like this is actually the perfect guy for her. The end.  And wait, just when you think the date is over, it keeps going with a private concert by Andy Grammer. WTF Bachelorette, please save SOMETHING for the other guys!  This is getting insane.

Meanwhile, back at the house, the 2nd date card arrives and we remember that there are still 18 guys waiting for dates.  Oh, them.  The group date is going to be at a winery/mansion (jealous) and there are 14 of them for Des to "juggle."  Today they get to star in their own rap video!  Oh lord. She brings out Soulja Boy, and I have flashbacks to my 4th year of college.  The guys are all going to Superman that Ho!  But really, this is going to be atrocious, and I cannot wait.  They all try out some rhymes and some dance moves, and Soulja Boy picks his favorites to star with him, while the rest dance.  We soon discover that the lyrics all have to do with past contestants who weren't there "for the right reasons," and I cannot wait to see this.  Guarding and protecting her heart? YES.  Brandon gets to act as Kasey (from Ali's season, for those who don't know) and "jiggle his junk" in Des's face.  The scene takes forever, Brandon's butt keeps hanging out, and Des looks super uncomfortable.  Overall this is the worst video ever made, and I feel like Soulja Boy needs to reevaluate his life after being a part of that shitshow. Embarrassing. 
Please no more. (ABC)
Finally the awkwardness is over and I can climb back out from under my blanket.  Des is excited to talk to all the "marriage-material" guys.  First, we get to see Zak W. (shirtless guy) have a real heart and emotions, and Des loves the thoughtful antique journal he gives her.  Is she a writer?  Like is there a symbol there? (You know everything needs to be symbolic!).  Next, we see Ben swooping in to take Des away, and all the guys are already claiming that he is NOT here for the right reasons.  But wait, he just performed a rap that proved that he IS. What am I supposed to think?!?  I still really like Ben, and he hasn't done anything yet to anger me-  the guys are just jealous!  In other news, Brandon is already starting to get super clingy and weird, and I am over him already.  I think it was appropriate that he played Kasey's part in the rap, because he is becoming just like him.  He's obsessing over her and definitely trying too hard and opening up way too fast, and I sense that Des is overwhelmed and not feeling it, but she's too nice and always finds the good in everything. No. This is too much!  At the end of the night, Ben gets the rose, and the guys are freaking.  I still don't get what the problem is, but I guess it will all come out eventually?

Bryden gets the last date of the night, and I am excited to get to know him better, since he was one of my top choices last week.  Des has planned a road trip in her Bentley, and thank goodness because they both love road trips!  How do you have a road trip, you may ask?  All you need is a car, some gas, and great company!  Thanks, Des.  Des explains everything there is to know about California, which of course is symbolic for her whole life!  She loves that he knows nothing about the world outside of Montana (and Iraq, I guess), and they have such a lovely time exploring.  Des, this is not even close to Brooks' date.  What the heck. Clearly ABC did not deem Bryden worthy of the same treatment.  Des feels like a kid again when she is with him, but I feel like he is going to have trouble opening up emotionally. He does go into detail about a big car accident he was in, and even brought pictures to share.  This guy has been through a ridiculous amount of rough stuff, and I like him, but I do still feel like he is going to have a hard time being as emotionally open as she wants/needs.  I just don't see the spark that I see with Brooks and Ben.  He does get the rose, and he also gets some hot tub time with Des, where we have the most uncomfortable "is he gonna kiss her??" moment of our lives.  As I am screaming at the TV covering my face, Des finally tells him to just kiss her already, and pounces on him.  Thank god someone did it.  SO awkward I almost died.  So happy that is over.

Finally it is time for the cocktail party and rose ceremony.  There are a bunch of guys I don't even remember, so I guess we should spend some time with them, right?  This rando Michael G. (okay, HE is the ugliest in the house) shares his story about having diabetes (is that really the best way to win her heart?), but Ben steals her away again!  But he already HAS a rose!  This guy.  Okay, maybe he is starting to show that he is full of it, but maybe the other guys should learn how this show works!  Instead of bitching about it like a bunch of girls, maybe they should do something for themselves!  Just saying.  A bunch of the guys confront Ben, because they know that he just doesn't get it, and he's being a liar.  Apparently he never talks about his son, only about his businesses, and they need Des to see the truth!  This confrontation is getting ridiculous- just grow some balls and move on.

Des is ready for the rose ceremony, and I feel like she is just too nice to send people home.  But here we go... A bunch of guys I don't even remember get roses, and I wish she would narrow it down faster.  Brandon gets the final rose- good thing too, or he may have killed himself right then and there.  Looks like she is sending home 3 guys- Will the high-fiver, Robert who is super cute by the way, and Nick M. who I don't remember in the slightest.  See ya!  Down to 16 guys, and guess what?  More confrontations with Ben next week!  Oh, and that whole girlfriend drama will come out.  Can't wait!

P.S. If you want to watch the worst video of your life, check out the guys' Soulja Boy music video and try to keep your eyes open for the whole thing. Oh and by the way, looks like they cut out Brandon's part.. too inappropriate?