Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Week 4 Recap: Tap Dancing & Pelvic Thrusts

Well, it is week 4, and I am excited, as always.  You may notice that I am a day or so late on this post, and I must apologize to my loyal fans!  I have family in town so I have to hang out with them of course, so I am a bit delayed.  I am also a bit wine-drunk, so this should be fun!  Can't wait to see what happens this week!  Chris Harrison announces that they are off to explore the world- to Atlantic City!!! Really?  That's the best the world can do?  Good work, ABC.  Did they mention that it was winter at the time of this recording?  In New Jersey?  Good choice.  Regardless, the guys are psyched to see Des, so let's see what happens!!!

The first one-on-one goes to Brad. WHO?  Super quiet, and remember, he has a kid? Not for Des. I agree with the other guys.  Let him go sooner than later.  Well Des is having a great time on the date on the boardwalk, but I think it is her love for chocolate that really shines through when they get to the sweets factory.  I feel like this date is fun because Des can have fun with everyone, not because of Brad.  He. Is. Boring.  The guys all keep insisting that he is not the right guy for her, and I can't help but agree.  Please move on.  Not even ABC wants this date to happen- hence why they are breezing through it.  Or does it just seem that way since I've already had 5 glasses of wine tonight? 

Next, Des and Brad head to a romantic convo in a sandcastle?  Am I the only one who is thrown by the fact that she is wearing a coat and scarf? Wow, looks fun. This date is lame and Des does NOT want to be the stepmother to his child!  Sorry.  They then go to dinner and he is literally the lamest most boring person ever.  Des is too nice and can't handle the thought of sending him home.  I think this is the first time we have actually seen people EAT on their date- I guess because they are not talking at all. Time to cut this guy, Des. If you can't even hold a dinner convo... this is DONE.  They try to drag on some awkward chats, but I cannot even deal.  Dear Des, it is not good enough that he is a "family man," you need to CLICK.  They end up walking up to the lighthouse but I cannot even deal with this. Finally Des grows some balls and tells him what we all can obviously see, and sends him home.  This. Is. Awkward. Way to make him walk ALL the way to the top of the lighthouse just to send him all the way back down.  Bitch move.  Well, she sends him home, and nobody cares.  The guys are happy, and nobody is shocked.  Brad cries and we don't even feel bad.  Can we get some real drama please??

Back at the house we get our group date card for the night, and everyone but James is called.  The guys are ready, and I am ready to get this narrowed down even more!  Des has something "fun" planned, and we find out that they will be competing in their own Mr. America pageant.  YES.  I cannot wait to see this.  Swimsuit competition anyone??  Their pageant consultant is AMAZING and flamboyant and I love love love him.  This is going to be ridiculous.  Figuring out the talents is crazy, and we find out that Juan Pablo knows how to spin a baton like a pro, and Chris enjoys wearing women's heels.  Hmm.  The current Miss America helps the guys prep for the interview portion, and finally, the guys get ready to rock their swimsuits- many of which are speedos- and I am back to excited. Let's get this pageant started! Before we begin, Chris Harrison informs us that the guys will be performing in front of a live crowd, of course.  So jealous of that crowd.  They start with the interview portion, and Kasey gives a great answer to start us off, about how he likes to give.  Ohh yeah. We see some more great answers, find out that Juan Pablo has a daughter (did we know that?) and see Mikey's sensitive side. On to the talents, where adorable Kasey does a tap dance routine, Mikey does something meathead-ish, Brooks does a crazy ukelele routine, Bryden pelvic thrusts, and Zak W. sings us a lovely song.  Then of course we got the swimsuits- hottt!  And finally the results!  Brooks takes 2nd runner up, Zak W. 1st runner up, and my fave Kasey wins Mr. America!  So excited for him.  #pageantking
Yes.  (ABC)
Later, the guys go out to a cocktail party with Des, and Brian busts out some poetry. Des loves writing poetry too, wow what a coincidence! He must have stalked her to find that out.  Next we hear again how much everyone hates Ben, yes again, and how he never talks about his son. Oh wait, he starts talking about his son.  She likes him, so does America, get over it. Next Zak W finishes his song for Des and we all swoon. I mean, cute, but too much??  Time to pass out the rose (without even giving Bryden any one on one time), what the hell, and Zak W gets it. Because of the song?? Okay..  Bryden is pissed as he should be, and everyone is ready to be really honest with Des!

Meanwhile, James is ready for his one on one date!  He is excited but I do not think he is right for her. We will see...  Today's date will be the opposite of extravagant, as they are going to see the damage from Sandy. Ugh so depressing and real! Des wants to shed light on what happened and I clearly cannot make fun, so I'll take a break and just watch. Des and James now have a bond and we can't trash on it!  They meet an adorable older couple who are rebuilding from the storm and the couple is honored to meet Des!  Sweet, but so backwards. Another touching moment and we really need to get back to the relationship drama. Sorry.  Des and James decide to give their date to the couple who lost so much and I am so touched and am literally tearing up that this cute old couple will get this Bachelor-style date, including a limo taking them to Atlantic City. Okay this is sweet and I just love Des.  James goes in for the kiss and I'm like, not the time James. This is an emotional day, no time for romance! They then go off to find some casual dining somewhere. Meanwhile we get to watch the older couple on their date (why can't they just enjoy their date in peace??) but we are all so touched!  Anyway, James is really cute and they have a nice dinner, but I still don't think he's the right guy.  James decides to be honest and share that he cheated on a past girlfriend and I feel like Des gets a bit uneasy. Omg you cheated once in college?! Please. Move on. Who didn't?  He admits that he will never do it again so we will see what happens...  It comes time to give out the rose (or is that for Jan and Manny now?) and James gets it. Shock. I will admit, it was so nice what they did on this date, but it definitely wasn't too romantic, so I am not sure what will happen if they get another date... Darius Rucker sings for them all but I'm just like, is this episode over yet?

Finally it is time for the cocktail party and rose ceremony and I cannot wait to get someone out of here!  We find out that Bryden is not really feeling it, and he isn't sure he would even accept the rose. What the heck?!  I love you Bryden!  Des is hoping to narrow it down to husband prospects, and I know who I would send home. But she is too nice!  Like, Mikey G? No. Get him out. Funny is not the only thing you need.  I do really like Brian and she should keep him around I'm sure.  It's time for Bryden to talk to her and I am nervous. He is feeling like things are slowing down and I don't like it!  Des senses the struggle but she likes him, so who knows what she will do!!  He is still doubting and he definitely has some kind if PTSD emotional distress like I thought. Anxiety for sure. But I am rooting for him!

We get to the rose ceremony and only 1 guy is getting sent home.  So slow to cut these guys! Get rid of at least 2! Boring.  I love that she keeps Juan Pablo. Yeah, he is really husband material... Hot, yes. Husband, probably not.  My faves like Ben and Kasey get roses, and even Bryden accepts his.  The final rose goes to Mikey, blah, sending home Zack (not W)- who??  And even though he is shocked, I am not. Do we even really know him??  Over it. Get to next week, please!!  

Next week they are headed to Germany for some craziness and drama!  Apparently James is not here for the right reasons, shock, and Ben gets some more exposure, double shock. Can't wait for these guys to turn on each other even more! Stay tuned!

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