Monday, June 10, 2013

Week 3 Recap: It's not called 'Let's Make Friends'

Tonight there are 16 men still vying for Des' heart.  I can't wait to see the drama that will inevitably ensue tonight- hopefully we will find out what the big problem is with Ben, and of course whose girlfriend shows up!  The first date of the night is a group date and oh no, BEN is on the date.  Ugh, how horrible for the other guys.  Please.  Des is SO excited because the guys will be playing... Dodgeball!  Yeah!  Men!  This should get intense.

I could watch this forever... (ABC)
Des is excited to see the guys in their "natural state," aka hot sweaty men physically competing for her.  In case you were wondering, yes, that is every girl's dream.  Just when it looks like the whole date will consist of the pro team kicking the guys' asses, Chris Harrison shows up to explain the real competition- red team vs. blue team for extra time with Des!  Chris has created the teams by himself, and I am hoping he just stacks one team against the other.  That makes it more fun!  Not only are the guys competing, but they are competing in tight shorts in front of a hug crowd.  LOVE.  Des is literally dying laughing, and what I wouldn't give to be in her place.  Ahh, boys.  I decide to root for the blue team, since I love Drew and I do like Ben!  They win the intense first game, but the red team takes the second game- all tied up!  So much suspense!  This is for all the marbles.  Or as (who?) explains, marbles in this case would be time with Des tonight.  Ohhh, I wasn't sure what you meant by marbles, thanks for that explanation, guy who matters so little that I don't remember your name.  Well the third game starts and right away Brooks falls the to the ground.  I swear it looks like he is grabbing his balls, but apparently it is his finger.  Des just wants to help him feel better- his poor broken finger!  He is shipped off the to hospital and the game resumes, and YAY blue team wins!  Zak is able to take down Chris at the end, and Des is so impressed!  She decides, why not take all the guys to the after party!? That was NOT the point, Des. Whatever, on to the rest of the date...

Meanwhile at the hospital, Brooks is all hooked up to a million wires and machines- all for a finger?  I mean, I've never broken a finger, but this seems excessive.  Des has a hard time keeping her mind off of Brooks (they ARE perfect for each other), but then she sees 9 other hotties around her and quickly moves on.  One of the guys whose name I also can't remember (Brad?) confesses to Des that he has a son and Des just eats that up. She loves kids!  As the night goes on, Des spends time with each of the guys, and they are panicking about the rose per usual. Chris surprises Des by finding a "special spot" on the roof!  How did he find this place?!?  Because it's a roof.  Every building has one.  They have a romantic chat and Chris is feeling confident with her.  Phew. I like him enough, I guess he's fine.  Finally, Brooks makes a miraculous recovery and shows up at the date in his uniform and splinted finger.  Des is smitten and they have a little make out sesh in the middle of the group date.  Love it.  Even though Brooks went through SO much to be with her, Chris gets the rose and extra bonus time with Des (private concert!).  The other guys watch them dancing/kissing and get even more jealous.  I guess I like Chris- he seems very nice and normal, which is always a plus for this show. 

Kasey gets the one-on-one date card, and I am SO excited to hear what hashtags he comes up with for the date!  But before the date, Des gets a sketchy call from Chris Harrison.  He has some bizarre news.  Uh oh!  Des is ready to head to the house to confront one of these bastards.  Someone here is being rude and playing a game.  NOT okay.  Well, it's Brian.  Do we even know him that well?  Des asks him if there is anything he needs to tell her, and if he is here for the right reasons.  And he just LIES about it.  Well, in comes Chris Harrison with some woman, aka Brian's girlfriend! Oh snap!  Well Stephanie breaks down and starts going ballistic, and it turns out that he has been lying to her the whole time.  AND she has a son who Brian is a role model for.  Holyyyyy moly.  Des and Chris try to mediate this situation, and this guy is clearly just a douche.  They slept together 2 days before he came on the show!  Stephanie is just trying to help Des and expose him as a jerk, and I'm like, okay okay, just send him home and let them work this out on their own.  Chris asks Des if there is ANY chance he is staying on the show, and Des says not a chance.  Don't worry, none of us were rooting for him anyway.  Moving on.  Brian is escorted out, and the guys all try to act like they weren't eavesdropping on the whole thing.  Don't worry, Chris explains the whole thing in case they didn't figure it out on their own.  Des gives them all the chance to admit anything they need to tell her, but nobody speaks up, and hopefully that means they are all good guys!  This situation does bring Brandon to tears thinking about this poor single mother who Brian left, and I cannot handle this emotion.  Brandon, get yourself together.  You are nuts.

Finally we get to Kasey's date, and hopefully Des will be able to focus on him!  They go out to explore Hollywood, and they are ready for some fun!  They come across some people dancing on the side of a building, and they are going to try it too!  This should be interesting.  They start having a great time, but finally reach the point of exhaustion.  They actually go to have a "normal" date on top of the building, and all of the sudden these intense winds start blowing.  They decide to jump into the pool to avoid the wind, and apparently that is freezing too.  This date.  Such a disaster.  They end up inside in a stairwell, and Des does give Kasey the rose. I think she was just trying to end that date once and for all. What a bummer!  I love Kasey but this date was a bust.  #fail

Oh and I could watch this forever too... (ABC)
The final date card is for another group date- this time there are only 5 of them, so it should be a little more intimate.  This date involves some acting/fake fighting/stunts, and I can't wait to see more guys getting physical!  Get ready for boot camp!  The guys get all dressed up in cowboy gear, and Des is loving it.  The guys get the chance to try out some cowboy skills and ride some horses to fight to become the Lone Ranger.  Juan Pablo does all his lines in Spanish (SEXY!), and Des is clearly keeping him around based on his hot hot hotness.  She chooses him for her Lone Ranger, and they get extra time together to preview The Lone Ranger (plug from ABC, anyone?).  Des is distracted by him, and I mean, who wouldn't be?  He screams sex and even though they have no future, she should definitely keep him around for some fun in the fantasy suite, if you know what I mean...

Later, Des realizes there are 4 other guys waiting for her, and she spends some more time with each of them.  I still love love love Bryden, even if he is a little reserved and shy to make the moves, they definitely have a connection and I want him to stick around for sure.  Zak also makes a connection with her tonight, and I do not know how she will narrow this down.  There are so many good guys that make her laugh!  James shows his loving/caring side, and Des is eating it up.  In fact, she gives him the rose because he opened up so much and she needs to reassure him that she wants him around.  You gotta play the insecure card every once and awhile!  And the other guys are devastated.

Instead of a cocktail party this week, Des decides to invite the guys to a daytime pool party.  Oh, did she just want to see everyone shirtless?? Amazing plan.  America thanks you, Des.  But before the party even starts, Ben whisks her away on a car ride for a little extra time.  This is a great strategy, but the guys see it as a "character flaw."  Okay, you are clearly all just jealous.  What angers them most is that he lies and tells them he didn't have any time with her yet.  How dare he lie to the other guys!  Please.  Thank you Ben for realizing "It's not called 'Let's Make Friends'."  Anyway, Brandon gets the chance to talk to Des about his emotional breakdown the other day, and essentially tells her he wants to "guard and protect her heart" a la Ali's Kasey, and I cannot deal with him. Too much too soon!

It's time for the rose ceremony, and I really hope she sends home the guys whose names I can't even remember.  And Brandon.  To my surprise, she keeps some randos around, and some not so-hotties, and I am over it.  The final rose of the night goes to Ben (shock!), and poor Brandon gets sent home.  After he told her he was falling in love with her?!  He is literally going to kill himself, and I am kind of scared for his life.  He tells her she is making a mistake and walks away, and Des goes after him to explain that she just isn't feeling it, and it needed to be sooner than later.  Agreed!  Get your shit together!  He can't even cry- he is out of tears.  Dear God.  Dan is also sent home, not a big deal since we didn't really know him. 

It looks like next week will bring more Ben drama, and apparently Bryden is going to be the one to bring it up- Nooooo!  That never ends well!  Hopefully Bryden won't shoot himself in the foot, and we will see what Des thinks about the whole thing.  Stay tuned for all the action!

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