Monday, July 25, 2016

The Bachelorette Week 7 & 8: Love = Get the Eff Out

Don't worry, loyal fans, after a week hiatus, I am back! Last week was Hometowns, and to be honest, there wasn't much to say. We did get to see a lot more about the Rodgers family drama, and it definitely seems like this Jordan v. Aaron stuff is real. But I don't know, I am still a Jordan fan all the way!!! The episode left us with an always unwanted To Be Continued, so we don't even yet know who the final 3 will be... Will she send Luke home like she told us she planned to, or will his last ditch effort at her affection save himself and doom a fellow contestant??? I guess we will finally find out tonight...

JoJo manages to pull herself together and stop sobbing long enough to hand out the roses, and they go to... Jordan first, of course, Robby second (and I am actually a little surprised about that one), and finally... Chase! And it looks like she didn't change her mind about Luke after all, crazy! JoJo is of course all sorts of torn up about this, but I am pretty satisfied. I'm telling you, there was just something about him that was odd, or dumb, or something off. Your rugged looks can only get you so far, my friend. Adios! Luke either looks totally thrown off, or he is just staring into space because he can't understand what is happening. Luke: You. Are. Being. Sent. Home. Can your mind comprehend this? JoJo keeps crying her eyes out, and Luke continues to stare blankly at her, and I can't watch this much longer. Go back and see the guys who can actually hold intelligent conversations!

So finally that emotional breakdown is over, and JoJo heads to Thailand with the final 3 guys. And you know what this means... Fantasy Suite dates.. oh sorry I mean, "exotic overnight dates"...!! Finally, the chance to weed out the ones that just can't hack it. I can't wait. The first date of the week goes to Robby, and he is confident in their relationship for sure. They have a nice date, even amidst thunderstorms, and I am even feeling a bit better about him. I won't lie, last week I was skeptical of Robby with all the ex-girlfriend drama, but I think he might actually be genuine after all. He continuously tells her that he loves her, and JoJo is full on smitten. And she is definitely excited about their night in the Fantasy Suite... Ohh yeah. JoJo trusts Robby 100% and admits to us that she loves him and can't wait to be intimate with him. Some part of me just worries that something will go wrong!! JoJo knows that she loves him, but is not going to tell anyone until it is down to the final guy. Yeah, BEN. Don't want to go breaking people's hearts by telling multiple people you love them! But yeah. It's looking pretty serious with him.
Even though JoJo loves Robby, she has another date with Jordan, who has been a frontrunner from day one, so anything is possible! They have a lovely date together, and some great chats, but JoJo is still wondering- is he too good to be true??? But I mean, a lot of past Bachelors have thought that (ahem, Ben and Lauren B.), and it has worked out great. So don't fear, JoJo! But apparently Ben totally screwed JoJo up, because he made her all these promises, so now she can't trust when Jordan says he wants to spend his life with her. Hmm... It seems like all JoJo does with Jordan is question him and his motives and intentions, and she just seems sooo skeptical. Why doesn't she trust and believe him??? Just accept that he is amazing and loves you and be happy about it. After all this, JoJo realizes that she does love Jordan too, and I guess this could become a problem! Two guys she loves so far, and two nights in fantasy suites... what will happen now???

In case we all forgot, JoJo does have one more guy here- Chase. I actually really like Chase. I think he is the best overall package- attractive, successful, down to earth. Everything. But the likelihood that she is in love with all 3 of them?! Doubtful. Most of us aren't expecting much from this date, but it turns out that JoJo is having an incredible time and doesn't want the date to end... So what does this mean?! Chase is ready to tell JoJo he loves her, and she seems to feel similarly.

So as JoJo is getting ready for the dinner portion of her date with Chase, she gets a knock on her door, and what the crap, Robby shows up at her hotel room. He just wanted to say hi and remind her about how much he loves her and wants a life with her. In the middle of her date with Chase! JoJo thinks it is super sweet and romantic, but it's also pretty rude!!! Just let her figure things out for herself and enjoy her date with Chase. Luckily, she does continue her date with Chase and they also head to the Fantasy Suite together... Chase finally tells her that he is totally in love with her, and JoJo realizes that she isn't actually in love with him like she is with the other guys. GAH. Not surprised but bummed. He would be such an amazing husband and doesn't use the L word lightly! I can't say this is a shock, but it will be sad to see a great guy like Chase be hurt like this. Ohhh JoJo. So she has to take a moment, and returns to tell Chase that she just isn't feeling the same way he does. And rightfully, he is pissed! He NEVER tells people that he loves them, and now he does, and he gets shot down! He doesn't even get any fun in the fantasy suite tonight! Because apparently Love = "get the f*ck out". Chase totally takes it like a man as she sobs and tries to chase him down, but he's like, stop giving me this bullshit after I just put myself out there. Pass. (Chase for next Bachelor! I'd watch that.) Chase peaces out, cracks open a cold beverage, and heads into the van, and we wonder if Chase will EVER tell another girl he loves her. I'd put my money on no.
JoJo is still holding a rose ceremony, even with only two guys left, because as we know, it is a two-way street. Should be simple enough, right? But just as JoJo starts telling Jordan and Robby about sending Chase home... Chase shows up to the ceremony to have a little chat! Whatttt? Did you not realize that you were sent home?? It turns out that Chase isn't here to ask to come back (just suspicious timing...), but he just wants to show how freaking classy he is, and tell her he understands and isn't mad. His heart is still open, but he is proud of her for doing what she feels is best. But really, Chase, could you BE a better guy??!?! You'll find someone even better than her who WILL love you back, we just know it!!! So anyway, at the end of the day, she gives roses to both Jordan and Robby, and we'll have to wait and see what happens between these two!

Tomorrow night is Men Tell All (aka Chad is back with a vengeance), and the finale is already next week! And I am sure it will be the most dramatic finale EVER. Until then...

Monday, July 11, 2016

The Bachelorette Week 6: Awkward Dates on Awkward Dates

After a week hiatus, the Bachelorette is finally back! This week we are down to 6 guys, and JoJo will be narrowing it down to the top 4 for Hometowns!!! We get 3 one-on-one dates plus a group date this week, which sounds like plenty of time for some good old fashioned backstabbing! Let the games begin.

The first one-on-one this week goes to Alex, finally. He hasn't had one yet, so it's about time, but I am starting to like him less and less. He just always seems to care more about other relationships than his own. Plus, why is he sooo shorttttt? The date involves them just driving (being driven) to the countryside of Argentina, and it is literally the most boring date in the history of this show. They eat some car snacks, then Alex composes some really stellar raps, and there is a lot of sitting in silence. But is it even his fault that the producers are giving him such a shitty date?!? They finally arrive at their destination where they will be acting as gauchos, which hopefully will actually be entertaining. They ride some horses together, but it is pretty clear that they do not have the connection or chemistry necessary to continue this relationship... She tries to be nice, but we know the truth. They also end up cuddling with a horse, and it is the weirdest, most uncomfortable thing I have ever seen. Like, they are lying with the horse like you would with your dog. And I am pretty sure JoJo has more chemistry with the horse than she does with Alex... So weird.
Later, Alex shares with JoJo that he is falling in love with her, but JoJo doesn't seem too excited about that. She knows that deep down she is not able to reciprocate those feelings, and she knows that her heart isn't in that place. JoJo decides to just go ahead and send him home now, and Alex is kind of shell-shocked. He thought it was going so well, but it was pretty obvious to all of us. Don't feel bad JoJo.. sometimes it just doesn't work out! But poor little Alex. I used to like you, but I'm not sad to see you go. See you in paradise???

The next solo date is going to Jordan (for his second one-on-one!), and we are excited. The other guys of course are pissed. Time to start coming up with more shit to talk about him! But Jordan is ready to take on the haters. So for this date, they are taking a private plane to go wine tasting by the Andes Mountains. So. A little better than Alex's crappy ass date. They do some grape stomping and then hang out in a romantic hot tub, and this date is clearly all about the chemistry. Meanwhile, the other guys are all sure that this is all fake, and JoJo just likes him for the Super Bowl tickets... Okay. Later, Jordan gets real with JoJo about his family, and we find out that if she goes on his hometown date, Aaron will NOT be there. WTF?!? That's the only reason we are watching!!! So, apparently Aaron and Jordan are not close, and they don't talk, and Aaron doesn't even know he is doing this show. Okay. Sure. He goes into detail about living in his brother's shadow, and how they have chosen different paths, and it's so hard to tell if this is all real or B.S. No way he doesn't even talk to Aaron. He used to hang out with the Packers O-Line all the time. So. Good conversation but total bummer for us Aaron fans! At the end of the date, Jordan tells JoJo he loves her, and she is SO happy to hear that. Just win already, k thanks.
So unfortunate.
The next date is a group date with Robby, Chase, and James, and since it is raining, they are just hanging out in her hotel suite, slumber-party style. A super awkward slumber-party where it's a love quadrangle with 3 dudes competing for one girl. JoJo orders a bunch of greasy foods and prepares a bunch of games, and I'm like, is this real? Is this really the whole date? They do an all-male massage chain, play Pictionary, and do a little truth or dare. And Robby somehow ends up running in his boxers through the halls of the hotel. Are they sober??? Because they can't possibly be at this point. What is this date?!? Later, all 4 of them lie on the bed watching Argentinian Bachelor, and the level of close cuddling between all of them is weird. So uncomfortable. Plus, James Taylor decides to get at the other frontrunner, Robby, and starts making up stories about him having a wandering eye... and he won't let it go. James, stop talking crap about other guys and worry about yourself! Clearly a desperate measure and not going to work. I mean, look at Robby, and look at you. (Sorry!)

Later, JoJo spends some alone time with the guys, and gets deep with Robby. JoJo needs to know about this ex-gf situation, and Robby insists that he loves JoJo and that he has totally moved on from the awful ex. We can tell that her relationship with Robby is pretty strong, and will continue to be, I'm sure. When talking to Chase, JoJo finds out that he wants to spend his whole life with her, and she gets excited to hear it. I think Chase is one of those contestants who is overlooked for most of the season, but comes out of the blue at the end to win it... I can see it happening! Finally she spends some time with James Taylor, who I am over. He used to be all sweet and adorable, but now he just seems like a dork who is secretly conniving and mean spirited. Pass. The group date rose goes to Robby- no surprise- and he is definitely going on to Hometowns. Robby gets a little more time to hang out/make out in JoJo's hotel room, and the other two go back to their rooms to cry. They realize that either James or Chase is going home, duh, and we hope it's James. We'll see!

Still one more date to go tonight, and it is Luke's. Everyone seems to love Luke, and we can't deny his connection with JoJo, but I just am not that into him as a person. He just seems kind of dumb, or slow, or something is off. JoJo plans the perfect date for Luke and takes him to ride horses. Which is apparently how he has spent every day of his life on his ranch in Texas. Luke gets to show off his sexy manly cowboy skills, and we are definitely impressed. But. Is this what every day of real life with him would be like? Because, pass. It would be great for a wild fairytale fling, but marriage?? Eh. JoJo has a great time but cuts the date short because apparently the rose ceremony has to be tonight, with no cocktail party. And James and Chase are nervous!!!

JoJo arrives at the rose ceremony with 3 roses to hand out, and tensions are high. Luke and Jordan get the first two, or course, and the pressure is on for that final rose!!! The rose goes to Chase, and I am not surprised, and rather happy. I'm telling you, Chase is going to do a come-out-of-nowhere move at the end! Poor James is upset, but maybe he should have spent more time on his bod and less time concocting B.S. stories about the other guys. They have a tearful goodbye, but we know she is better off. Just keep writing love songs and it will happen for you, James! Next week is Hometowns, which means even more Aaron Rodgers drama, and the Robby's ex-gf storyline gets out of control! Can't wait to see all the drama unfold! Until then!