Monday, July 11, 2016

The Bachelorette Week 6: Awkward Dates on Awkward Dates

After a week hiatus, the Bachelorette is finally back! This week we are down to 6 guys, and JoJo will be narrowing it down to the top 4 for Hometowns!!! We get 3 one-on-one dates plus a group date this week, which sounds like plenty of time for some good old fashioned backstabbing! Let the games begin.

The first one-on-one this week goes to Alex, finally. He hasn't had one yet, so it's about time, but I am starting to like him less and less. He just always seems to care more about other relationships than his own. Plus, why is he sooo shorttttt? The date involves them just driving (being driven) to the countryside of Argentina, and it is literally the most boring date in the history of this show. They eat some car snacks, then Alex composes some really stellar raps, and there is a lot of sitting in silence. But is it even his fault that the producers are giving him such a shitty date?!? They finally arrive at their destination where they will be acting as gauchos, which hopefully will actually be entertaining. They ride some horses together, but it is pretty clear that they do not have the connection or chemistry necessary to continue this relationship... She tries to be nice, but we know the truth. They also end up cuddling with a horse, and it is the weirdest, most uncomfortable thing I have ever seen. Like, they are lying with the horse like you would with your dog. And I am pretty sure JoJo has more chemistry with the horse than she does with Alex... So weird.
Later, Alex shares with JoJo that he is falling in love with her, but JoJo doesn't seem too excited about that. She knows that deep down she is not able to reciprocate those feelings, and she knows that her heart isn't in that place. JoJo decides to just go ahead and send him home now, and Alex is kind of shell-shocked. He thought it was going so well, but it was pretty obvious to all of us. Don't feel bad JoJo.. sometimes it just doesn't work out! But poor little Alex. I used to like you, but I'm not sad to see you go. See you in paradise???

The next solo date is going to Jordan (for his second one-on-one!), and we are excited. The other guys of course are pissed. Time to start coming up with more shit to talk about him! But Jordan is ready to take on the haters. So for this date, they are taking a private plane to go wine tasting by the Andes Mountains. So. A little better than Alex's crappy ass date. They do some grape stomping and then hang out in a romantic hot tub, and this date is clearly all about the chemistry. Meanwhile, the other guys are all sure that this is all fake, and JoJo just likes him for the Super Bowl tickets... Okay. Later, Jordan gets real with JoJo about his family, and we find out that if she goes on his hometown date, Aaron will NOT be there. WTF?!? That's the only reason we are watching!!! So, apparently Aaron and Jordan are not close, and they don't talk, and Aaron doesn't even know he is doing this show. Okay. Sure. He goes into detail about living in his brother's shadow, and how they have chosen different paths, and it's so hard to tell if this is all real or B.S. No way he doesn't even talk to Aaron. He used to hang out with the Packers O-Line all the time. So. Good conversation but total bummer for us Aaron fans! At the end of the date, Jordan tells JoJo he loves her, and she is SO happy to hear that. Just win already, k thanks.
So unfortunate.
The next date is a group date with Robby, Chase, and James, and since it is raining, they are just hanging out in her hotel suite, slumber-party style. A super awkward slumber-party where it's a love quadrangle with 3 dudes competing for one girl. JoJo orders a bunch of greasy foods and prepares a bunch of games, and I'm like, is this real? Is this really the whole date? They do an all-male massage chain, play Pictionary, and do a little truth or dare. And Robby somehow ends up running in his boxers through the halls of the hotel. Are they sober??? Because they can't possibly be at this point. What is this date?!? Later, all 4 of them lie on the bed watching Argentinian Bachelor, and the level of close cuddling between all of them is weird. So uncomfortable. Plus, James Taylor decides to get at the other frontrunner, Robby, and starts making up stories about him having a wandering eye... and he won't let it go. James, stop talking crap about other guys and worry about yourself! Clearly a desperate measure and not going to work. I mean, look at Robby, and look at you. (Sorry!)

Later, JoJo spends some alone time with the guys, and gets deep with Robby. JoJo needs to know about this ex-gf situation, and Robby insists that he loves JoJo and that he has totally moved on from the awful ex. We can tell that her relationship with Robby is pretty strong, and will continue to be, I'm sure. When talking to Chase, JoJo finds out that he wants to spend his whole life with her, and she gets excited to hear it. I think Chase is one of those contestants who is overlooked for most of the season, but comes out of the blue at the end to win it... I can see it happening! Finally she spends some time with James Taylor, who I am over. He used to be all sweet and adorable, but now he just seems like a dork who is secretly conniving and mean spirited. Pass. The group date rose goes to Robby- no surprise- and he is definitely going on to Hometowns. Robby gets a little more time to hang out/make out in JoJo's hotel room, and the other two go back to their rooms to cry. They realize that either James or Chase is going home, duh, and we hope it's James. We'll see!

Still one more date to go tonight, and it is Luke's. Everyone seems to love Luke, and we can't deny his connection with JoJo, but I just am not that into him as a person. He just seems kind of dumb, or slow, or something is off. JoJo plans the perfect date for Luke and takes him to ride horses. Which is apparently how he has spent every day of his life on his ranch in Texas. Luke gets to show off his sexy manly cowboy skills, and we are definitely impressed. But. Is this what every day of real life with him would be like? Because, pass. It would be great for a wild fairytale fling, but marriage?? Eh. JoJo has a great time but cuts the date short because apparently the rose ceremony has to be tonight, with no cocktail party. And James and Chase are nervous!!!

JoJo arrives at the rose ceremony with 3 roses to hand out, and tensions are high. Luke and Jordan get the first two, or course, and the pressure is on for that final rose!!! The rose goes to Chase, and I am not surprised, and rather happy. I'm telling you, Chase is going to do a come-out-of-nowhere move at the end! Poor James is upset, but maybe he should have spent more time on his bod and less time concocting B.S. stories about the other guys. They have a tearful goodbye, but we know she is better off. Just keep writing love songs and it will happen for you, James! Next week is Hometowns, which means even more Aaron Rodgers drama, and the Robby's ex-gf storyline gets out of control! Can't wait to see all the drama unfold! Until then!

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