Monday, July 29, 2013

Finale Part 1: Is This Still a Fairy Tale?

Tonight is part one of the 2-part finale event and I am so nervous!  I know something crazy/probably bad is going to happen and I am worried for my faves!  To recap: Brooks, Chris, and Drew are left.  My top pick is definitely Chris, but I also like Drew a lot.  Des is leaning towards Brooks for sure, but anything can happen.  We will definitely be seeing some tears tonight...  But Des reminds us yet again that this IS a fairy tale!

After a recap of all of the drama and heartaches, it's time for some fun in Antigua!  (Which by the way was our honeymoon destination, which makes me even more excited!)  But first, Des has to remind us about her feelings for all of the guys, and again she makes it clear that she loves Brooks, and only likes the other guys.  She is clearly only looking to him as the winner, but he still isn't feeling the same way- this is going to be bad.  Ten bucks says that Brooks breaks her heart... so sad.

But before the Brooks drama comes Des' overnight date with Drew.  They decide to take a drive around the island to explore, and I fall in love with Drew even more.  Des loves how hot he is, but he is also the sweetest guy in the universe.  I die.  They check out a local festival where they join in some limbo and dance with maracas.  They have a romantic picnic and are literally so freaking adorable together.  Drew!  I wish you could hear me squealing right now.  Love!!  Drew reveals to us that he would get down and propose today if he could, but stupid Des is probably still only thinking about Brooks.  Maybe the fantasy suite will change her mind...  A little rain can't keep Drew down!  Since it has washed away their beach dinner, they may have to get to the suite a little early...  Shockingly, he accepts the invitation to spend the night with her, and she is in for a good night I'm sure...  As they chat, Drew straight up tells her that he is going to propose and that he has a ring picked out, and I really hope she does not break his heart.  Drew loves you, Brooks doesn't!!  Can't you see how perfect he is???  Des does tell us that she wants to give him the world, but I guess for tonight, she can at least give him something else...  Yeah, fantasy suite!

Back to Brooks, who is trying to decide if he loves Des or not?  Des thinks it is so obvious that he loves her, but obviously NOT.  He decides to go back home to talk to his family, who will hopefully help him figure out his true feelings.  Brooks.  If you do not know yet, don't waste our time!  Drew and Chris know their love!  Brooks admits to his family that he would not really want to propose at the end of this, so clearly he is not feeling it.  They all realize that he has too many doubts, but he is afraid to admit that he doesn't love her.  Well duh, you are going to break her heart with this realization!  At least he is being honest and isn't going to propose to someone without knowing if it is right...  But this will crush her!  She does NOT have the same doubts as you.  But maybe this means she'll go running to Chris or Drew now...

Speaking of Chris, he has arrived in Antigua for his date, and I cannot wait.  They are taking a helicopter ride around the island and they are just too precious.  Next, they have an adorable picnic on the beach, in their bathing suits, and I am diggin it.  This beach in-the-waves make out session is super hot, and yes Des, you are lucky.  Chris! Talk about chemistry.  Show me more!  Later on at dinner, they decide to chat about the future.  Dundundun...  Chris asks her if she would be willing to move to Seattle for him and I am nervous about that!  Thankfully she says they can make it work anywhere, because she is ready to settle down.  Chris is so happy that she is willing to move to Seattle, and I'm glad they are at least having this conversation.  Enough of these Bach couples not even living together after the show.  They chat some more and have such a connection and I love it.  Have I said this before?  He is literally the perfect man.  Finally Chris gets the invite to the fantasy suite, and like a gentleman he says he wants to spend more time with her, no expectations.  Okay... clearly your chemistry will be bubbling over tonight!  Chris brings out one last poem to really get her in the mood, and they are ready for some alone time.  They make out a little in the hot tub, and I'm like, get these cameras out!  We all know what is going to happen next!

Finally it is time for Brooks' date, and stupid Des thinks that Brooks is going to get down on one knee today.  And she is ready to say yes today.  What a bitch thing to say- the other guys are great too!  It's time to see her get crushed.  Badly.  Before the date, Brooks needs some alone time with Chris Harrison for some bro talk.  He's such a good counselor.  Chris asks if he is unsure or flat out not in love, and whether or not some time in the fantasy suite would help clear things up.  Oh Chris.  Brooks says that if he doesn't feel it at this point, then she is not the love of his life.  Fair.  Chris Harrison is not satisfied with that answer, and needs Brooks to describe the feeling he would need to feel.  He just doesn't have it, okay!  Give it up and let him go!  Chris pries even deeper- is this because your parents are divorced? Are you just not ready for love?  No!  He just isn't feeling it!  Now let him go break her heart already!  So wait, you are not afraid to commit, you are just not into Des?  How does that weigh on you?  These daggers in the heart from Chris Harrison just won't stop!  He feels bad enough without you "clarifying" his feelings like this.  Chris gives him some final advice to be honest, but we all know this will be bad.  Drama!

Des is so excited and ready for a proposal, but she is about to get hit by a bus instead.  Des can instantly sense something is wrong and is starting to freak out.  They both start to tear up before he can even get the words out, and this is so uncomfortable!  He tells her that he wants to be in love with her, but that he doesn't feel that way, especially when he is away from her.  She cries hysterically and I can't handle it.  She asks why he is telling her this now, and he honestly says he didn't know until now.  Fair.  It's not like he was the last guy left and rejected you!  Not everyone is in love with you, so maybe just go focus on the guys who ARE!  He tries to console her, and she pushes him away.  This crying is getting out of control and really awkward.  Can we shut this off now?  Enough.  Des finally tells Brooks that she loves him and that she does not love the other guys, and this makes Brooks freak.  She was going to tell him that today!  This. Is. Bad.  In other news, she must be wearing all waterproof makeup, because it is still fully intact.  Good work, makeup artists!  Des complains some more about how nobody ever loves her back, and that she has never felt completely loved before.  Hello??? What about those other two GREAT guys that DO love you?  What a bitch.  She finally tells him, "It just sucks that I loved you."  Love it.  She doesn't care that he just broke her heart- she loves him.  Des.  This is all you need to know.  Six words:  He's just not that into you.

Finally they stop hugging and go for a little walk, and it seems like Brooks is starting to feel really bad.  Is he regretting this??  Apparently throughout the entire season Des has been lying to the guys and us, and she never actually liked anyone else.  She only ever wanted to be with Brooks, and she's just been playing everyone else.  What a bitch!  You clearly had your mind made up from week one and just faked it with the other guys. Newsflash: the show is not over and you have two guys left.  Let's see if they even want you now that they know you never wanted them in the first place.  Des does everything she can to make Brooks feel worse than he already does, and I am over her.  You lost ONE guy.  Get over it and be nice to the other guys you have left.  Ugh.  Over you.  I hope you end up alone and that Chris gets a perfect woman way better than you!

Brooks can't bear to leave, and hangs out alone crying, as Des sits on the pier crying alone.  Have I mentioned that I am over this?  30 minutes of crying is more than I can watch in one sitting.  Brooks hopes she is in love with Chris or Drew, but I hope she gets nobody after being so selfish.  Des admits that she doesn't love either of them enough, and that it is over for her.  Well then.  Why do we have a show next week?  To watch her reject the two amazing guys she has left?  This season is clearly a bust, and all I can hope is that Drew or Chris becomes the next Bachelor so we can see them find someone who is not a selfish bitch.  Can't wait to see the sobfest next week!  Get ready for the lamest finale in Bachelor history...  I know I am.

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