Monday, June 22, 2015

Week 6 Recap: A Scandalous Night...

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! The sex scandal is happening tonight and I cannot WAIT. Shit is finally hitting the fan, for real, and I am beyond excited. We start off by revisiting the amazing drama from last week, when Ian totally destroys Kaitlyn mentally and emotionally and attacks her for making out with everyone and being so superficial. Ian is not looking to plow her field, okay. Except, night one, all he talked about was how much he wanted her based on last season. And he saw her say that line last season! So clearly something is not adding up. Anyway, Kaitlyn is "super offended" that Ian is calling her "surface level" because all she cares about is humor, and he only cares about depth. Ian is apparently just trying to be honest that they are not right for each other, he is not a fan of hanging out with these shallow dudes, and he is heading home. Dangggggg. Ian leaves because he needs to stop only talking about sex and have some deeper conversations. His parting words? "Oh man, I need to have some sex." So. There's that. He will definitely be the next Bachelor!

Luckily, guess who is there to swoop in and save the day...? Nick! Because he is so kind and genuine and good-hearted. He assures Kaitlyn that he knows that she has everything that Ian didn't think she did. Nick continues to take up all Kaitlyn's time, even though he already has a rose. She is SO smitten with Nick it's not even funny, and ends up making out with him, again, for quite a while. And poor Shawn has to see it... Here's my thing- Nick is not acting the same way he did with Andi. With her, he was a weirdo creep, and with Kaitlyn he seems to be much more fun and relaxed. But we still can't trust him!!! Not when there are good guys like Shawn around! She is just falling deeper and deeper into Nick's trap and I'm not sure she will be able to escape him...

Next we see an interview with Kaitlyn where she justifies her need to be physical with every guy. I mean... I kind of get it, I agree with the fact that you need to have the physicality in a relationship. But, there is still that whole thing of... you are dating like 12 guys, so maybeeeee be respectful of that fact. But tonight we already know that she will NOT be respectful of the guys. Minus the one mystery man that she goes too far with........!

So the rose ceremony is finally starting, and hey, Chris Harrison shows up to chat. Finally! Am I the only one who noticed that he has been like ABSENT this season? I got the sense that he was not a big fan of Kaitlyn as the Bach, so I just feel like he has not been into having the typical heart-to-hearts. Has he just been off gallivanting in Texas while all this drama had been going on? Come on, Chris, get your act together. Kaitlyn starts handing out roses, and even JJ gets one- have we all just forgotten about his encounters with Clint??? We are just going to ignore that??? Okay. The final rose goes to Tanner (who by the way, I think is getting hotter, because he is looking pretty smokin tonight), and she sends home Justin (?) and Joshua. Joshua leaves us by reiterating that NICK is still there and he better not win. So is there any question as to why you are being sent home? See yaaaaa. There are 10 guys left and they are actually leaving the country this season!! Dublin, here they come! What a great place to fall in love!!!

So of course, Nick gets invited on the first one-on-one, oh hey- luck of the Irish! Poor Shawn is BEYOND pissed and upset. And he should be- she is about to get reallyyyyyy intimate with Nick and not him! Now that we know it is Nick who gets with her, I'm actually not shocked at all. I mean, this sexual tension between them has been building for like months. All the flirting on twitter and via text, it had to come to a head eventually. She just cannot control herself when she is around him! This kind of had to happen... Okay, first, the date. They go to walk around a park, of course filled with birds, but she is terrified of birds! So, good plan there. They spend the day making out pretty much everywhere, and she reallyyyyy likes him. Gah I'm starting to think that I don't hate him so much with her. Maybe because I'm not really a huge fan of hers anyway so it kind of works.

So they spend most of dinner dying of sexual tension and dying to just jump each other's bones, and it's clear they just need to do each other. Now. Kaitlyn admits that she forgets the cameras are there, CLEARLY. So they head back to her suite to "hang out" for a bit... and apparently they let the cameramen in... Which I am sure is getting suuuuuuper awkward. They keep it pretty PG at first, but then they lock themselves in her bedroom, leaving the cameramen in the suite area... We may not be able to see, but those sneaky cameramen let us still HEAR everything. This has GOT to be mortifying for Nick and Kaitlyn to watch back, because we can literally hear every sexual comment they make (Nick: I want to know every part of you), and lots of heavy breathing... How is this allowed on television?!? They are CLEARLY making sex noises and there is no question what is happening in there. Do they not realize that America will be listening??? Or I guess they are just so swept up in it that they don't even care.

So the next morning Nick does a little Walk of Shame action, and I'm like, won't the other guys notice that he never came home last night...? He tells them about hanging out on her couch and having private time, but doesn't tell them more than that. Meanwhile, Kaitlyn wakes up and realizes, oh shit, this is going to really eff up my other relationships. She hopes that Nick won't tell the guys because it will make them all leave, and I'm like, then you probably shouldn't have done it! I mean, I think the only way to make it right at this point is to just sleep with all the other guys too. Even the score! Better get going, there are a lot of them left still...

The group date begins and Chris Harrison is there! Oh hey! He tells the guys that Kaitlyn is "dead" and they will be having a wake for her. Okay, am I the only one who thinks this is WILDLY inappropriate, since a real Bachelor contestant DID die 2 seasons ago...? Talk about too soon. This is probably the worst idea they have ever had on this show. Kaitlyn is lying in a coffin and the guys have to give a toast to her about her great life. The guys actually do a great job, and Tanner is pretty much hilarious as his poem basically throws her under the bus for spending no time with him. And he is still looking so hot! When it gets to Ben Z., he gets super serious because, oh yeah, his mom died when he was younger. Way to bring up these painful memories for him! What were you thinking with this date?!? In other news, if you ever want to hear people say a lot of amazing things about yourself to make you feel good, hold a fake Irish wake.

Later, they have the after party at the Guinness storehouse, which seems pretty amazing. So much whiskey and beer on this trip! Ben Z. decides that he needs some time to explain why he took the wake so seriously. I mean, you don't need to explain- a wake is clearly extra emotional for you- your mom died. Jared gets some good alone time, and I reallyyy am starting to like him. But he is too good for her! Find someone better, Jared! In other news, Shawn is kind of starting to annoy me. I feel like he is becoming too Joshua-like. Stop worrying so much about Nick! Instead, just make some moves of your own! Clearly she is pretty easy, so just go for it, there's a good chance you can get some too... Shawn talks about his family with her and starts getting more confident, until Jared gets the group date rose AND some extra time with her. Shawn gets more conflicted than ever, and feels like their feelings are not being validated. I have a bad feeling about what is to come for him...

Jared gets to go to a special private concert with The Cranberries and I'm like, holy 90's flashback! They slow dance/make out while being serenaded, and it is super cute and romantic. I love him! But like I keep saying, I want him with someone else. Actually, I would love to see him on Bachelor in Paradise- I think he would be GREAT on that show. ABC are you reading this???

Meanwhile, Shawn gets a little drunk and goes to chat with his BFF cameraman to vent about how he has lost all trust in Kaitlyn. She told him he was the one, and now she is off with Jared. After being off with Nick yesterday. He decides he can't do this anymore... UH OHHHH. I feel like he has way too much anxiety to be on this show. If he is freaking out now, it's only going to get worse as she narrows down the field... Shawn goes to see her at her hotel room and initiates a conversation, and just as Kaitlyn starts breaking down to us... Of course......... To Be Continued. GEEZ we didn't even make it through all three dates this week!

According to the previews, Shawn does not leave that night, but things are still rough. And apparently big things are about to happen that will change everything. Is Kaitlyn going to confess her secret sex to the guys next week? Or does she wait longer for that one...? We can't wait to see how all of this works out! At this point I am kind of hoping she ends up with the D-Bag. I feel like they will be happy together and all the other good guys should find love elsewhere. We'll see...

In other news, apparently Britt and Brady are still a thing. In case you were worried. Anyway, see you all next week for hopefully even more scandal!

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