Week 6 Recap: A Scandalous Night...

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! The sex scandal is happening tonight and I cannot WAIT. Shit is finally hitting the fan, for real, and I am beyond excited. We start off by revisiting the amazing drama from last week, when Ian totally destroys Kaitlyn mentally and emotionally and attacks her for making out with everyone and being so superficial. Ian is not looking to plow her field, okay. Except, night one, all he talked about was how much he wanted her based on last season. And he saw her say that line last season! So clearly something is not adding up. Anyway, Kaitlyn is "super offended" that Ian is calling her "surface level" because all she cares about is humor, and he only cares about depth. Ian is apparently just trying to be honest that they are not right for each other, he is not a fan of hanging out with these shallow dudes, and he is heading home. Dangggggg. Ian leaves because he needs to stop only talking about sex and have some deeper conversations. His parting words? "Oh man, I need to have some sex." So. There's that. He will definitely be the next Bachelor!

Luckily, guess who is there to swoop in and save the day...? Nick! Because he is so kind and genuine and good-hearted. He assures Kaitlyn that he knows that she has everything that Ian didn't think she did. Nick continues to take up all Kaitlyn's time, even though he already has a rose. She is SO smitten with Nick it's not even funny, and ends up making out with him, again, for quite a while. And poor Shawn has to see it... Here's my thing- Nick is not acting the same way he did with Andi. With her, he was a weirdo creep, and with Kaitlyn he seems to be much more fun and relaxed. But we still can't trust him!!! Not when there are good guys like Shawn around! She is just falling deeper and deeper into Nick's trap and I'm not sure she will be able to escape him...

Next we see an interview with Kaitlyn where she justifies her need to be physical with every guy. I mean... I kind of get it, I agree with the fact that you need to have the physicality in a relationship. But, there is still that whole thing of... you are dating like 12 guys, so maybeeeee be respectful of that fact. But tonight we already know that she will NOT be respectful of the guys. Minus the one mystery man that she goes too far with........!

So the rose ceremony is finally starting, and hey, Chris Harrison shows up to chat. Finally! Am I the only one who noticed that he has been like ABSENT this season? I got the sense that he was not a big fan of Kaitlyn as the Bach, so I just feel like he has not been into having the typical heart-to-hearts. Has he just been off gallivanting in Texas while all this drama had been going on? Come on, Chris, get your act together. Kaitlyn starts handing out roses, and even JJ gets one- have we all just forgotten about his encounters with Clint??? We are just going to ignore that??? Okay. The final rose goes to Tanner (who by the way, I think is getting hotter, because he is looking pretty smokin tonight), and she sends home Justin (?) and Joshua. Joshua leaves us by reiterating that NICK is still there and he better not win. So is there any question as to why you are being sent home? See yaaaaa. There are 10 guys left and they are actually leaving the country this season!! Dublin, here they come! What a great place to fall in love!!!

So of course, Nick gets invited on the first one-on-one, oh hey- luck of the Irish! Poor Shawn is BEYOND pissed and upset. And he should be- she is about to get reallyyyyyy intimate with Nick and not him! Now that we know it is Nick who gets with her, I'm actually not shocked at all. I mean, this sexual tension between them has been building for like months. All the flirting on twitter and via text, it had to come to a head eventually. She just cannot control herself when she is around him! This kind of had to happen... Okay, first, the date. They go to walk around a park, of course filled with birds, but she is terrified of birds! So, good plan there. They spend the day making out pretty much everywhere, and she reallyyyyy likes him. Gah I'm starting to think that I don't hate him so much with her. Maybe because I'm not really a huge fan of hers anyway so it kind of works.

So they spend most of dinner dying of sexual tension and dying to just jump each other's bones, and it's clear they just need to do each other. Now. Kaitlyn admits that she forgets the cameras are there, CLEARLY. So they head back to her suite to "hang out" for a bit... and apparently they let the cameramen in... Which I am sure is getting suuuuuuper awkward. They keep it pretty PG at first, but then they lock themselves in her bedroom, leaving the cameramen in the suite area... We may not be able to see, but those sneaky cameramen let us still HEAR everything. This has GOT to be mortifying for Nick and Kaitlyn to watch back, because we can literally hear every sexual comment they make (Nick: I want to know every part of you), and lots of heavy breathing... How is this allowed on television?!? They are CLEARLY making sex noises and there is no question what is happening in there. Do they not realize that America will be listening??? Or I guess they are just so swept up in it that they don't even care.

So the next morning Nick does a little Walk of Shame action, and I'm like, won't the other guys notice that he never came home last night...? He tells them about hanging out on her couch and having private time, but doesn't tell them more than that. Meanwhile, Kaitlyn wakes up and realizes, oh shit, this is going to really eff up my other relationships. She hopes that Nick won't tell the guys because it will make them all leave, and I'm like, then you probably shouldn't have done it! I mean, I think the only way to make it right at this point is to just sleep with all the other guys too. Even the score! Better get going, there are a lot of them left still...

The group date begins and Chris Harrison is there! Oh hey! He tells the guys that Kaitlyn is "dead" and they will be having a wake for her. Okay, am I the only one who thinks this is WILDLY inappropriate, since a real Bachelor contestant DID die 2 seasons ago...? Talk about too soon. This is probably the worst idea they have ever had on this show. Kaitlyn is lying in a coffin and the guys have to give a toast to her about her great life. The guys actually do a great job, and Tanner is pretty much hilarious as his poem basically throws her under the bus for spending no time with him. And he is still looking so hot! When it gets to Ben Z., he gets super serious because, oh yeah, his mom died when he was younger. Way to bring up these painful memories for him! What were you thinking with this date?!? In other news, if you ever want to hear people say a lot of amazing things about yourself to make you feel good, hold a fake Irish wake.

Later, they have the after party at the Guinness storehouse, which seems pretty amazing. So much whiskey and beer on this trip! Ben Z. decides that he needs some time to explain why he took the wake so seriously. I mean, you don't need to explain- a wake is clearly extra emotional for you- your mom died. Jared gets some good alone time, and I reallyyy am starting to like him. But he is too good for her! Find someone better, Jared! In other news, Shawn is kind of starting to annoy me. I feel like he is becoming too Joshua-like. Stop worrying so much about Nick! Instead, just make some moves of your own! Clearly she is pretty easy, so just go for it, there's a good chance you can get some too... Shawn talks about his family with her and starts getting more confident, until Jared gets the group date rose AND some extra time with her. Shawn gets more conflicted than ever, and feels like their feelings are not being validated. I have a bad feeling about what is to come for him...

Jared gets to go to a special private concert with The Cranberries and I'm like, holy 90's flashback! They slow dance/make out while being serenaded, and it is super cute and romantic. I love him! But like I keep saying, I want him with someone else. Actually, I would love to see him on Bachelor in Paradise- I think he would be GREAT on that show. ABC are you reading this???

Meanwhile, Shawn gets a little drunk and goes to chat with his BFF cameraman to vent about how he has lost all trust in Kaitlyn. She told him he was the one, and now she is off with Jared. After being off with Nick yesterday. He decides he can't do this anymore... UH OHHHH. I feel like he has way too much anxiety to be on this show. If he is freaking out now, it's only going to get worse as she narrows down the field... Shawn goes to see her at her hotel room and initiates a conversation, and just as Kaitlyn starts breaking down to us... Of course......... To Be Continued. GEEZ we didn't even make it through all three dates this week!

According to the previews, Shawn does not leave that night, but things are still rough. And apparently big things are about to happen that will change everything. Is Kaitlyn going to confess her secret sex to the guys next week? Or does she wait longer for that one...? We can't wait to see how all of this works out! At this point I am kind of hoping she ends up with the D-Bag. I feel like they will be happy together and all the other good guys should find love elsewhere. We'll see...

In other news, apparently Britt and Brady are still a thing. In case you were worried. Anyway, see you all next week for hopefully even more scandal!

Week 5 Recap: We Get It, You Hate Nick.

Well, well, well. Tonight, Nick officially joins the cast, and all the guys are SO HAPPY about it! Oh wait, actually they just stare him down in awkward silence and grill him about his history with Bachelorettes. Why were you hanging out with Andi a few weeks ago and now you are here to hang out with Kaitlyn??? Geez you Bachelorette whore! Nick insists that he just wanted to meet this girl, okay! But even though you've been talking for months, you had to wait until she was... on TV to meet her...? Nick puts on his most sincere face, which coincidentally is also the face of a total douche, but the guys don't buy it. Do I? We'll find out.

Oh by the way, I almost forgot there is a rose ceremony tonight, since we had a cliff hanger last week. Shoot! All this talk about Nick that I can't even remember who any of the other guys are! (Nick's plan is working already...) So the rose ceremony takes place on a pro baseball field, which of course is so romantic.  JJ starts off the alone time and Kaitlyn is having a great time- Did we all just forget about the whole JJ-Clint romance situation??? Remember how that happened?? Or did the Nick thing just take priority in the drama department? In other news, Shawn, who we considered a front runner, is totally taken aback by Nick's arrival. His guard is all the way back up already, and admits to Kaitlyn that he thinks Nick is full of shit and that he is starting to doubt everything. What is Kaitlyn going to do?? They have a super strong connection, but it seems like it is becoming Nick or Shawn. Better make a good choice- it's only your future!

The rose ceremony takes place outside on the field, and by the way- it is New York in the winter, and none of the guys get to wear coats. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS? They are literally all like freezing to death. With one rose left, Nick is still without one, and the suspense is killing us! And wow, surprise surprise, Nick gets the final rose. DUH. Why would she bring him on the show and immediately eliminate him? The guys of course are all pissed, but luckily 3 more (who shouldn't have still been there anyway) are sent home. Unfortunately, the episode continues to be all about Nick, and I can't be the only one tired of The Nick Show already. WE GET IT. Nick is here. Move on.

The guys head to San Antonio, TX this week, which I bet is the perfect place to fall in love. The first date of the week goes to Ben H., who I am pretty sure I like. They are going to learn how to do the two-step dance, which is just like being in a relationship! A perfect way to fall in love. This is actually a dance competition, against real Texans, so, they obviously don't win, but Ben is actually super adorable. I actually feel like he should not be with Kaitlyn- like, he is too good for her. I'm already thinking next Bachelor for this one... Later on in the night, Kaitlyn forces him to open up and tell her (and America) things he has never told anyone. He needs to spill every detail about his past love life NOW or he will be sent home! Here's the thing. I get the sense that Kaitlyn doesn't actually care about all this deep sharing crap, but she just assumes, oh it's the Bachelorette, so the guys are supposed to open up to me on every date or else. Like, I feel like she is just doing what you are "supposed to do" as Bachelorette instead of being real. Which is why this will not work out for her, sorry! Anyway, he gets the rose, okokok moving on.

The group date this week includes Nick, and the guys are all soooo thankful that he doesn't get a one-on-one. Yeah, screw him. The guys are going to be writing and performing a Mariachi song for Kaitlyn, and an adorable little 12 year old is tutoring them. Pretty cute. The guys get all dressed up in Mariachi gear, and there is a whole audience there waiting to see the performances. The guys do a great job, except for Ian who just chokes. Again. He used to be one of my favorites, but I am kind of over it with Ian. He's not really taking any of this like a man... Last up, Nick takes Kaitlyn up to the balcony and does a cute performance, and most of the guys are kind of over the problem with him. Except Joshua, who apparently is still fuming about Nick's existence. So this ought to be good!

Later on, Joshua decides he needs to prove how much he trusts Kaitlyn by letting her give him a new haircut. And she pretty much destroys it... good plan, Josh! This ridiculous haircut will definitely make everyone forget about the whole Nick thing! Nick knows not to waste time with haircuts- he needs to use his time more wisely! Like by making out with Kaitlyn the entire time they are together. Sounds like a good plan to me. Anyway, even with the haircut, Josh just cannot get over this Nick situation, and it's getting a little repetitive. We get it. You don't trust Nick. You don't like him. Guess what, she is not going to pick you, so stop wasting your energy on this!

Well Joshua just cannot give this up- he takes Kaitlyn for more alone time, to talk about his ill feelings towards Nick. He explains that everyyyyy guy in the house dislikes him, but then why is every other guy saying they DO like him??? Because nobody else is trying to create drama about an issue that doesn't concern them! Kaitlyn actually seems to buy into his crap, and she believes him that every other guy is lying except Joshua. OR maybe Joshua is the effing crazy one who is creating ridiculous drama out of nothing! Kaitlyn takes Joshua back to the whole group, and calls him out on his accusations in front of all the guys. The other guys literally could not care less at this point, but Joshua refuses to go down alone. He tries to throw every other guy under the bus, when in reality he is the ONLY one who cares and is making up stories. In the midst of all the bullshit, Kaitlyn decides to say eff you to everyone and gives Nick the group date rose. I was really hoping she would just send Joshua hope right then and there, but no, we still get more of his crap. And now Kaitlyn is going to be drawn even further to Nick, just to spite them all. Great job, Joshua!

The final one-on-one date goes to Shawn, which I am excited about, but also a bit worried. They have a great connection, but I fear that he is going to blow this by making things all about the Nick issue. Please just focus on your OWN relationship! They go kayaking down the River Walk, and they actually have a good conversation, not revolving around Nick. So this could be good! Shawn finally opens up and shares his sob story about almost dying in a car crash, and it makes them so much closer- thank goodness he is alive to be here! Apparently he wants to waste no more time in his life, and already tells Kaitlyn that he is falling in love with her. AND she tells him that she feels the same way. GEEZ. Just end the show here and now and get married! There are still 12 guys there, and I am worried that other drama could mess this up, but at this point things seem good for them... And I approve.

Meanwhile back at the house, Ian bemoans the fact that he isn't Kaitlyn's top choice. Even though he came in here obsessed with her, he decides that actually, she is not interesting and he doesn't even like her. He toots his own horn a bit and explains that he is a CATCH and usually has no problem getting women- if only he was the Bachelor with 25 options, everything would be great. So, officially Ian has become the biggest douche in the house- that even beats out Nick! He is ready to make his "last stand" tonight- we are at The Alamo after all (I know that because I want to Princeton, and I am a former model, and I survived an accident, and I am overall the greatest person alive.)

The time for the cocktail party arrives, and I'm like, why hasn't Joshua gotten his hair fixed yet??? There has to be someone in San Antonio who could have fixed that in the last few days. Come on. Kaitlyn starts the night off with a little toast about honesty, and Jared is the first to be honest by telling her that he is falling in love with her. All of these guys putting it out there so early on! Later on, Ian continues to get more and more pissed off about this situation. Clearly he prefers situations where he is surrounded by other women, NOT men. He is used to being with women even hotter than Kaitlyn and having a lot of sex, and this is NOT the situation he wants. As he says, I'm a gift that you unwrap for life. That about sums it up. So during their alone time, Ian calls her out on being shallow and superficial, and questions all of her intentions on just wanting to make out with dudes on TV. And before we can get Kaitlyn's reaction... of course, To Be Continued. Because what else is new?

Next week we will see Ian leave, duh, and maybe someone else will get sent home too. PLUS... NEXT WEEK IS THE SEX SCANDAL! I cannot wait to see who it is! At this point, my guess would be Jared, Nick, or Shawn, but the previews make it look like Shawn is angry, so it could be either way. I will DEFINITELY be tuning in next week, hope you do too! Until then...

Week 4 Recap: The D-Bag Returns

We start off tonight's episode with the dramatic conclusion of last week's To Be Continued nonsense (in case you forgot- Clint and JJ are in love, but not with Kaitlyn). Kaitlyn is ready to get Clint out of here, since every other guy has told her what a fake he is, but during their sit-down, all Clint wants to talk about is his relationship with JJ. He continues to spew some more bullshit about how honest and kind he is, and how she just needs to tell him how to fix the problems so he can stay (to be with JJ). Kaitlyn still tells him that she really, really, really likes him (HOW?), but she doesn't trust him. So. Maybe she does have some sense in her. She decides to send him home, and SHIT GETS REAL. No I'm not even joking. She tells the guys to all say goodbye to Clint, and JJ turns on his boytoy and demands an apology in front of everyone for how Clint acted! Needless to say, Clint is NOT okay with his one true love insulting him, and a MAJOR lovers quarrel breaks out. (In case you forgot, this is The Bachelorette, and the first lovers quarrel occurs between two men). These guys are yelling at each other, with their faces inches from each other, and I'm like, are they about to fist fight or have a passionately hateful makeout session? The breakup does not end well, but at least Kaitlyn is 100% confident she made the right decision. Poor JJ ends up hysterically crying during his interview that he lost his one true love- Clint- and the rest of the guys are like uh... get him out k thanks. I think Jared said it best- this was the most dramatic breakup in the history of The Bachelorette. And it was two guys!

Kaitlyn decides she is too emotionally drained to do a rose ceremony, and she wants to keep everyone. UGH get rid of more guys, please!!! The guys are actually kind of pissed about this (JJ staying around), and we were ALL counting on this rose ceremony to weed these guys out. Instead, we are ALL heading to... New York City! Thrilling.

In case we were wondering, New York is actually the perfect place to fall in love. The best way to do this, of course, is to have a rap battle. Since according to Kaitlyn, NYC is the birthplace of hip hop, she has brought Doug E Fresh to help the guys write some raps. These guys are going head to head, and let's be honest, most of them are... pretty white. So, this should be hilarious. JJ confesses that he has never listened to a rap song in his life (not even on the radio?), and he literally only listens to show tunes. We are just learning so much about the real JJ now aren't we? These raps are some of the funniest things ever and I actually give them props- pretty entertaining date.

Meanwhile, guess who just happens to be in the crowd...? Yup, Nick V. He is there with some other Bachelor alums (who I don't recognize..) and acts like a total fucking too-cool-for-school douche to Kaitlyn. Which is obviously super attractive, because Kaitlyn is swooning and losing her mind for him. (In case you don't know, he was obsessed with her on Chris's season and they had a twitter/text friendship blossoming after that season). And now he is here! Because he can't let her get away without meeting her! And he has to sit like a totally douchebag as he tells her that. Ugh. Also, couldn't he have just started at week 1 with everyone else? She clearly likes him, but at this point it is really messed up to bring him in. What will she do??? Fall for Nick's douchebaggery and add ANOTHER guy into the mix? Get out. Kaitlyn brings this up to the guys on the date, and they are of course pissed. Shawn seems super mad that she isn't confident enough in their relationship that she needs to bring someone else in, and I agree! Don't you like these NICE guys?? Or do you prefer D-BAGS? (Can you tell how I feel about Nick?)

Kaitlyn on the other hand still feels conflicted, so she leaves her DATES to go see Nick and MAKE OUT WITH HIM! What are you doing?!? You are losing any respect that anyone has for you! She still hasn't officially decided to keep him, but I think it's clear that she will. Oh by the way, remember how there is a group date going on right now? Because it seems like she spends no actual time with the guys, other than for Justin to tell her that it's okay if she brings Nick in. Oh and of course he gets rewarded for that comment with the group date rose. Thank you for validating my horrendous decisions, Justin! Now I'm gonna go get a new guy and tell you all to fuck off! Side note: In case you didn't know, this begging to join the cast thing happens like every season these days. But everyone else does the right thing and tells them to go back home. Except apparently Kaitlyn...

The next day Kaitlyn has a one-on-one date with Jared, but first, she invites Nick to come see her at  her hair appointment before she goes out. That's not weird. By the way, omg, CRAZY ASHLEY ONION is apparently a hair dresser in New York??? Because she is the one doing Kaitlyn's hair, and somehow becomes the voice of reason in this situation- is it just lust or is it love?? Lust! Get him out! Even with that, Kaitlyn decides that she needs to be selfish and doesn't want to regret this forever, so she tells Nick to come on and join the cast. But don't worry, he's not here to be the villain- he is here for love!

Oh by the way, Kaitlyn needs to head to her DATE WITH JARED now. After that lovely make out session on the street with Nick. Ugh. Anyway, they meet at The Met, both dressed all fancy, and it should be all super romantic, BUT all she can think about is Nick. Nice. So she tries to bring up Nick on her date with Jared, and he is like uh... can we not talk about another guy on our date? K thanks. Jared is such a great guy, and they actually seem really cute together. He even wrote her a poem for goodness sakes! Hopefully she is moving past her Nick obsession, as she gets to go on a helicopter ride with Jared like, next to the Statue of Liberty. Shoot. And it might be working, because she starts to wonder if she even needs Nick there after all... hmmm...

Or not. Because Kaitlyn goes to tell the guys that Nick will be moving in tonight, AND will be part of the rose ceremony. So let's all get ready for the next date! Kaitlyn is taking 5 guys to the theater to sing and dance on Broadway They will be auditioning and only ONE will win a part in the musical Aladdin, and the others will go home to be with Nick... ughhh. So the judges decide that Chris Cupcake is most worthy of joining Kaitlyn on stage later, so the rest of the guys just sit in the audience seats and watch them rehearse. You know what I keep thinking about? All those people who spend their entire lives trying to make it to perform on a Broadway show, and these fools who get to do it, just because they are on a reality dating show. I bet there are some pissed off people out there! Anyway, after the show, Kaitlyn and Chris go walking and end up at the NYE Times Square ball, and he gets the rose. Romantic, cute, but clearly this is not the main event of the night...

Tonight is the night that Nick joins the guys at the hotel... and everyone is just so thrilled! And just as he is heading into the suite... awww SHOCK. To Be Continued. JUST GIVE US A ROSE CEREMONY PLEASE!!! Anyway, looks like next week is just going to be a bunch of pissed off guys complaining about Nick, so don't get too excited. (Is that sex scandal coming soon???)

Oh and by the way, in case anyone forgot, Britt and Brady are still SUPER happy and are going to meet each others families and such. Thank goodness she didn't waste her time as Bachelorette ;) Hoping for more updates next week!

Week 3 Recap: Diapers, Birds, and Sex Ed

The To Be Continued continues! Upon our return, let's first acknowledge that this did NOT need to be a T-B-C episode. Kupah yelled at a producer and Kaitlyn calmed him down and told him to leave. THE END. But apparently Kaitlyn was so shaken by this event that she had to freak out and cry and have a whole sit down with the guys about it... But come on, you've known them like 3 days. Enough dramatics, Kaitlyn. You're supposed to be a comical bad-ass bitch. Anyway, we are starting the episode with last week's rose ceremony (annoying), then we can finally get on with the next set of dates. Side note: Are we going to get a Britt-Brady update tonight? Or is that already over?

I forgot how boring the first few rose ceremonies are... I can't even remember who most of these guys are at this point and I just want more of them to leave. For the final rose, Kaitlyn clearly does what the producers tell her and keeps the creeper Tony around for entertainment value. When we are all just yelling, "send him back home to be with his bonsai trees!!!!". In other news, Kaitlyn is already like hysterically crying from sending home 2 more guys. WHO WE DON'T EVEN KNOW. I did NOT expect this much emotion out of her... this does not bode well for later this season when she actually knows the guys she sends home...

Finally the dates begin, and we start with the men being awoken by some world champ sumo wrestlers banging a gong. Which is kind of amusing. Six guys learn that they will be going on a date with Kaitlyn, sumo wrestling, and they need to wear the traditional garment. So, the guys end up in their little diaper/thongs, and literally everyone's butts (and some crotches) are blurred out. Now it's obvious why Kaitlyn chose this date- she gets to see it ALL already.  They do some warm ups, and actually go up against the real sumo wrestlers. Now, I won't lie, this is extremely entertaining, but how is this a date? It's more like an exhibition. They are still at the mansion, and the other guys are all there watching. There is nothing "date" about this- it is purely just for entertainment. Crazy Tony goes ape-shit on the sumo guy and gets his ass kicked, and then storms off pouting. (Sore loser or just crazy?) Why can't we do something about peace and love??? Can't we just take a boat ride or go sky diving??? Tony just wants to be "non-violent," yet he is acting pretty aggressive about this whole situation. Kaitlyn is desperate to make things right and make him feel more comfortable, but I'm like, JUST SEND HIM HOME. STOP BEING NICE. Clearly if he doesn't want to do anything that you enjoy, he is not right for you!!! Stop feeling bad about your lack of connection to the guys- they cannot all be winners!!! I am really starting to get annoyed at Kaitlyn, in case you couldn't tell. She's not the bitch I was hoping she would be!

So the guys who actually want to have fun head to the exhibition where they will be wrestling in public for a big crowd ...still wearing the diapers. It's interesting to say the least. Meanwhile back at the house, Tony decides to quit walk away on his terms and go home. Good riddance! Go find someone who just wants to go to the zoo and imitate animal noises like you. Later at the evening part of the date, Kaitlyn makes a better connection with Shawn, who I like, and he gets the rose. In other news, Clint decides he is not really into Kaitlyn anymore (and Kaitlyn straight up confronts him about it), but he apparently really likes his relationship with JJ so he wants to stay and explore that a bit more. Hm. Okay.

The next date is planned by Chris Harrison, and Kaitlyn will go with Ben Z. to some creepy basement place where they will be trapped in some terrifying nightmare that they will try to escape? Sounds horrible. But I bet it will bring them closer together when they make it through this together! Apparently Kaitlyn has a paralyzing fear of birds, so of course there are birds everywhere. It's a good thing Ben Z. is so tough, because Kaitlyn is having a panic attack. This is literally the worst experience I could ever imagine, but as expected, they both feel closer after this! Later they finally have a normal date situation where they get to sit and talk, and we learn that Ben Z. hasn't cried in 11 years, even when his mom died. Shoot. I just don't know if that's really a good thing or a bad thing... We'll find out. They have some romantic time in the hot tub and he gets the rose, and I think I do like him. He can stay.

For the final date of the week, Kaitlyn takes some of the guys to an elementary school to be teachers- sex ed teachers... Apparently this is her twisted way to figure out which of these guys is sexually capable...? Again, kind of a weird date, because they are talking about sex to little children. But Kaitlyn admits to us that this is actually a prank and these are child actors, who are purposely asking ridiculous questions. Knowing that, this is actually hilarious and kind of adorable, especially with Ben H. who is super precious while explaining reproduction. Later on, Joshua admits how much of a prude he is, and Kaitlyn loses interest. Clearly we know what she values most in a relationship... no prudes wanted here! Luckily, Kaitlyn gets some good intimacy with Ben H., and later Jared (who even gets asked back to her room!!). Ben gets the rose, but Jared is confident in their relationship anyway.

Meanwhile back at home, Clint and JJ are getting very close to each other... and the other guys are getting weirded out. They spend all their time together, sitting close, lounging in the hot tub, showering together, and playing love songs to each other. Clint kind of admits that he has gotten "too close" to JJ and has found love.. so. Interesting. What will happen, I don't know... Clint decides that he needs to get a rose so that he can spend more time with JJ, but hopefully Kaitlyn won't fall for his BS.  Unfortunately after they talk, Kaitlyn tells us that he has redeemed himself and she kisses Clint, and. Ew. After that, he runs back to JJ to talk shit about the other guys for not being as manly as them. Hm.

Apparently the rest of the night is spent with all the other guys chatting with Kaitlyn and alluding to the house drama. According to her, 13/15 guys tell her what is really going on, particularly with Clint. I mean, Clint and JJ are literally the craziest jerk psycho maniacs I have seen in a while. Once Kaitlyn hears enough, she decides that "Clint is one of the biggest douches in Bachelor history" (I love it) and goes off to speak with him... and then... To Be Continued!  Of course.

Not surprisingly, we have to wait AGAIN for the next rose ceremony to see what happens with Clint and JJ. PLUS, Nick is going to show up next episode, which should be pretty insane. Can't wait to see what happens, and to hopefully see Kaitlyn get some tougher skin! Until then...