Monday, May 25, 2015

Week 2 Recap: This Isn't Church Camp

Can I just start by saying what everyone is thinking right now? Nobody even cares what happens this episode- all we want to know is who Kaitlyn is going to bang, and we are all just waiting for the sex scandal episode. So. I guess we'll just try to get through tonight... We are first reminded (in case we forgot) that some of these guys originally voted for Britt, and shouldn't those guys all get out of here?!

Oh yeah, speaking of Britt... she's still on the show. Remember that to-be-continued side story? Well it seems like they are going to be dragging out this Brady-Britt storyline for as long as it lasts they can force it. Britt wasn't ready to give up her 5 minutes of fame, and America isn't ready to give up on her! I'm sure this will be true love... I guess we will find out throughout this episode, or even throughout this season, God help us.

Anyway, Kaitlyn is starting out with a group date that will "end in a ring," and from the previews we know that means boxing. It could be fun to watch these guys beat the crap out of each other, but I always feel like group dates at this stage are a waste of my time. I never remember any of them and there isn't really a chance for a real connection... We'll see if this proves me wrong. Laila Ali is there to train them/explain to the guys the similarities between boxing and a relationship, and you may be surprised to know that this is JUST like falling in love. And it is also a good way to get these guys ridiculously sweaty. As you could expect, the guys are beating the living Hell out of each other during this tournament, and can we talk about how unevenly matched the guys are- there are like 50 lb differences between a lot of the match-ups. Which could explain why Jared is like seriously hurt and needs to go to the hospital. Fun date!

Fight for me, bitches.
Later on, Kaitlyn starts to get to know the guys, and we get our first sob story from Ben Z., which Kaitlyn loves of course. During her chat with one guy, a producer hands Kaitlyn a note and she heads outside where Jared is waiting in his workout gear. Apparently he was cleared by the hospital to go see her briefly, but he could not go inside to the party, since he needed more rest. He did pull some smooth moves and get a kiss, and I am actually kind of liking Jared right now. And I think Kaitlyn is too... But it looks like Ben Z.'s sob story earned him the first rose of the week, and a kiss make out session. Good work, Ben.

Next, we have our first one-on-one date with Clint. Who, by the way, I think is one of the ugliest guys there. But he drew a pretty kickass picture of Chris Harrison riding a dinosaur, so I guess that somewhat makes up for the unattractiveness. Apparently they will be doing an underwater photo shoot, and I'm like, she couldn't have picked one of the hot guys for this?!? Well the photo shoot is actually not too awkward, except that they have their first kisses under water while being photographed. And then make out some more in the pool while the crew is all around. So that's kind of weird, but clearly Kaitlyn has no shame when it comes to getting physical... Clint gets a rose and it's the best date ever, blah blah, I'm bored already.

The last group date brings some excitement, with Amy Schumer helping out with some stand up comedy. Apparently Amy is not feeling JJ, and thinks he is just auditioning to be the next Bachelor. Probably true, and I am glad she is calling him out on it. The guys each have to perform for a crowd, and this could be rough...  Luckily the guys are all having some drinks before getting up there. Except Tony the Healer who decides to take this opportunity to pour out his heart about the joy in his life instead of making jokes. And everyone starts chugging their drinks. Yikes. Can he leave please?

Later that night, Kaitlyn gets to know all the guys by making out with pretty much all of them... they are bringing the "A game" apparently. JJ really impresses Kaitlyn and ends up getting the rose- but didn't she talk to Amy Schumer?!? Doesn't she want her perspective???

JJ continues his dick moves at the cocktail party when he whisks Kaitlyn away first even though he already has a rose. Why is he such a jerk? He has a daughter! He should be a better man. So the guys already all hate him, and yeah, I'm not really a fan. But as JJ says, "this isn't church camp" and they aren't there to be friends. I wonder if/when Kaitlyn will realize how douche-y he is... Later, Ian finally gets a chance to tell his sob story, and I am not sure if I like him as much as I did week 1. But Kaitlyn is feeling it, and he gets a kiss too! So, how many guys are we up to now? Ten? I've lost count. Anyway, JJ can't stop running his mouth, and brags to the guys about how he can now "hit the bar" since he's already had his time with Kaitlyn. What a great guy! Every season needs a villain and I guess they have picked JJ as theirs...

Finally, Kaitlyn sits down with Kupah to have a super weird convo. Apparently he is in the mood to confront her. He goes on and on about how she isn't giving him a chance, but he is the one who was all about Britt and questioned everything about her. So, maybe he should just leave. He is not going to win, and this is getting weird, so... leave please. He basically begs her to stay, but she is not feeling it so much anymore. Send him home. Weird. A few minutes after their chat, she overhears him talking crap about her very loudly to the other guys, and just flat out tells him to go home. And he pretty much refuses! This is getting so weird!!! At least she has some balls about her and gets rid of him straight up. That was some excitement for the episode at least! Kupah can't handle his exit interview and looks like he is getting violent, and then... TO BE CONTINUED. Which, p.s., I hate more than anything in the entire world. Dear ABC, NOBODY likes these dumb ass cliffhanger episodes where we have to wait for the rose ceremony. Stop dragging it out.

In other news, apparently Britt and Brady are full on in a relationship after a week of hanging out. Can't wait to get updates throughout the season! I'm sure it is going to last forever!

I guess we will get the rose ceremony results next week... Love this waiting! Until then...

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