Monday, January 21, 2013

Week 3 Recap: Big Spills and Hot Competition

Another week begins with Sean getting his sweat on in the gym. Ohh yeah.  16 girls remain tonight, and still not everyone gets a date... how sad.  The first one-on-one date this week goes to Lesley M.- remember that strong connection they made last week when she was wearing that midriff-bearing shirt? Ohhh yeah, can't wait to see what happens now!

Sean's plan for the date involves hitting up the Guinness World Records museum and Sean is acting lamer and more boring than ever.  Lesley is not feeling it either.  But, then we find out that Sean's dad is a world record holder! Wow!  Sean decides they should try to break their own world record in the form of world's longest on-screen kiss.  They are on Hollywood Boulevard in front of a huge crowd and this could not be more awkward.  Thank goodness they already kissed last week because a 3 1/2 minute forced kiss would not be my ideal first kiss with a guy... Sean is just so good at coming up with fun dates!  Lesley starts laughing during the kiss and I cannot even handle the absurdity.  Literally.  Watching this is torture.  Yes, Chris Harrison, this is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen.  The crowd is getting uncomfortable and so is the rest of America.  Lesley tells us that today is the best day of her life, but I think she may change her mind when she sees the episode because frankly, this is horrific.  Finally they pull apart and I can take my head back out from under my blanket and look at the screen again.  Let's get on to the rest of the date, shall we?  Later, Lesley tells Sean her life story as Sean stares awkwardly at her and we can just see the love blossoming.  Lesley goes in for a kiss, as if they've never kissed before, and I wonder how long until she spills her champagne glass all over Sean's back.  Lesley of course gets the rose (I would hope after all those "connections" they made today) and she quickly becomes one of the clear front runners.  After all, Sean admits that he has high hopes for their future...

Most uncomfortable 3 minutes and however many seconds of my life... (ABC)
Next comes the group date and all 12 girls are headed to the beach for a little competition.  All of the girls get into their bikinis (provided by ABC it seems, since they all coordinate...) and Sean of course takes off his shirt, at the insistence of the girls.  Chris Harrison shows up and we are all so surprised!  Maybe it's not just a day at the beach??  They divide into teams for a little beach volleyball, and the game consists almost entirely of the girls trying to get the ball over the net.  Even once.  Taryn tells us that this is the most important game of her life, since the prize is more time with Sean.  This is the big time here, people.  Like, bigger than the Super Bowl.  Finally Kacie B.'s team wins and Tierra's team loses and poor Kristi breaks down into hysterics when she has to go home from the date.  These women LIVE for Sean.  These meltdowns.  Wow. 

I can't imagine why Sean would have planned this date! (ABC)
Later, the 6 winning women hang out with Sean.  Lindsay tells Sean like, that she like, wants him to be her like, best friend, and she is like, so excited to fall in love.  For some reason Sean responds with a kiss.  Did you forget about the wedding dress incident?!?  Desiree insists that she is not only fun but she is also really deep, and Sean is eating that right up.  Amanda gets some time alone with Sean and I guess she has cheered up since the rose ceremony.  She explains how fun, light, and airy she is and the other girls (eavesdropping) do NOT agree.  They maintain that she is a creep.  And questionable.  But she really believes that she will be getting this rose.... Kacie B. decides to take matters into her own hands and expose Desiree and Amanda for the bitch fighting that has been occurring- because it is really affecting her in a bad way.  KACIE B.!  This backfires big time and Sean is not happy with her getting in the middle of this.  Her plan for evil-doing is not going well and I am freaking out now too!  Lindsay gets the rose and Kacie looks like a crazy person who can't handle the drama.  This is not ideal.  I want to still love you Kacie!!

AshLee gets the last date of the week and I am racking my brain trying to remember who the heck she is.  But before the date can begin, there is a big banging noise!  Tierra fell down the stairs!  Sean the doctor diagnoses a concussion and we need to call the ambulance ASAP!  Am I the only one who is disappointed about this?  Of course the producers made it seem like someone was going to PUSH her down the stairs.  Lame.  Tierra refuses to go to the hospital and this is just pure drama!  Suddenly, she has a miraculous recovery when Sean comes to talk to her, and the girls are getting a little skeptical...  AshLee is getting pissed when this cuts into her date time, and thinks it is NOT cute when Tierra plays the victim.  Now I wish someone would just push another girl down a stairway so we could have some real entertainment.

Finally we get to the date and we are ready to move past the big fall.  Sean wants to see if AshLee can be caring and compassionate, so he takes her to an amusement park.  Wait, what?  Okay, Sean explains that they are going to be taking some kids with chronic illnesses around to play with them.  That is so nice!  I actually appreciate this.  AshLee fake smiles when she finds out that these little girls would be crashing her date.  There are some touching moments and it actually makes me happy that Sean is doing this for these girls.  And he also sees the compassionate side of AshLee, how wonderful. They all get a private concert from Sean's favorite band who nobody else has ever heard of, and we actually see AshLee tearing up in emotion.  Okayyyy I guess she does have a heart after all.

Later, they get some one-on-one time and AshLee wants to spill her life story of everything she has been through, which apparently is a lot.  She confides that she wants to adopt older children and Sean apparently agrees wholeheartedly.  AshLee explains her past of being abused before adoption, but she is so positive now.  Sean starts to tear up at her life story and he is really affected by all the love in her life.  I'm bored.  Does that make me a bad person?  She gets the rose and we get it, Sean likes every single girl on this show.  Can you stop being so nice and innocent now?  We need some excitement.  They dance as this unknown band plays and we are all so moved by this emotion!  Sorry AshLee, you have already cried one too many times for my taste.  Moving on.

Finally it is time for the rose ceremony, and some girls are pretty nervous!  First, Sean talks to Sarah and surprise!  He brought her dog from home to visit her!  If I were the other girls I would be so jealous- time with my dog would beat time with Sean any day.  Sorry, Sean.  I guess he is going to keep her.  Next he chats with Tierra and she reminds us that she is a little injured from that fall.  How sad.  Desiree interrupts and Tierra is pissed off because she was NOT finished with him.  She wants to punch some walls.  Tierra takes Sean back and there is some draaamaaa in this house!  Lesley steals Sean next and these girls are getting RUTHLESS.  Did we all forget that this is a competition?  A game even?  Yeah...  Well, finally I am getting my wish and things are getting more intense!  Time to see who is going home tonight!  Before the rose he pulls Kacie B. aside and we are all wondering what is happening.  And then he sends her HOME!! Better off as friends!?!  I am devastated as we all know what a Kacie B. fan I am, but I am glad that she will not end up with a boring loser like Sean.  Poor Kacie leaves with regrets this time.. maybe she will try for a 3rd attempt?  Actually, I would recommend Bachelor Pad, Kacie.  Many more hotties all in one place!

On with the ceremony!  Crazies like Tierra and Amanda get roses and we are all so surprised.  Desiree gets the final rose and we are not at all shocked because the ex-boyfriend drama hasn't happened yet!  Taryn goes home (remember how plain and boring and emotional she is?  See ya.) and Kristi also gets the boot (but she is a MODEL!  You can't force something that isn't there though...).  Sean has narrowed it down to 13 women that all have the same exact personalities, values, and goals in life, which only means that Sean (lacking real feelings and emotions) will be drawn to them all and unable to choose between them.  This should be fun!

Next week we allegedly are going to see some more Tierra drama, although up to this point the episodes have definitely not lived up to the previews, so we shall see what actually happens...  Hoping for more crazies and some REAL drama!  Stay tuned for more updates and of course heartfelt commentary from yours truly!

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