Week 2 Recap: "This Feels a Little Messed Up"

Week 2 of the drama begins! ...with a montage of shirtless Sean... what else is new?  Let's dive right into the action, shall we?

Sarah gets the first one-on-one.  Sympathy date?  I hope not. Ohhh what a tight spot.  If you recall, she is the girl with one arm who does NOT want to be treated differently or talk about her one arm, except when she is talking about her one arm.  Sean, in true Bachelor style, arrives for the date in a helicopter.  A HELICOPTER!  I cannot even FATHOM that they would have a helicopter ride date on the Bachelor!  This is shocking.  As for Sarah, this first five minutes with Sean in a helicopter is literally "the biggest dream come true" of her entire life.  Really?  Not when you overcame your disability to be treated as a normal kid, graduated college, got a job, anything like that?  Sure.  Sean explains that they really clicked at the cocktail party because he was impressed with how she talked openly about her one arm, and that is why she is on this date.  Ohhh for the love, can we please move on from this? Thanks.

Time for some adventure!  Jumping off of something really high up?! This has NEVER happened on the Bachelor before.  I hope that by overcoming their fears together, they can grow closer as a couple.  I can feel the romance blossoming with every step they inch toward the edge.  What if they DIE?!?  It would make for the most interesting Bachelor season yet... Alas, they survive, all thanks to Sean's confidence!  Finally, now that they have formed this life long bond, it is time for the part of the date where they actually talk to each other.  One guess what the topic of the night will be!  Thank goodness for DVR- fast forward me to the drama, please!  Well it looks like Sarah gets a rose... I still maintain that she will be around for quite a while, whether he really likes her or not.  She's a nice enough girl but I don't see her as THE one for him. We shall see...

Group date time!  There are 13 girls on this date. 13!  This is excessive.  First they pull up to a mansion/castle.  Upon entry they learn that they will be doing a photo shoot.  Ford Model Kristy immediately rejoices. Oh, is this your profession?  I hadn't heard.  A romance photo shoot?!?  Does this mean Sean will have his shirt off?!?  Meanwhile, Tierra already starts to drive the girls nuts- this is shocking!  Even the make up artists are talking shit- this is too good.  Luckily Sean doesn't see any of her dark side!  He still thinks she is sweet and innocent.  Where have I seen this before....?

The photo shoot begins, and Lesley M. starts to make a big impression on Sean. Could it be that her entire midsection is exposed and that she has a hot bod?  Maybe... She even gets a kiss on the lips.  WHAT?!? How dare she do what the photographer directed her to do!  By the way, have you heard that Kristy has modeling experience and that she is ecstatic about this shoot?  And in the biggest shock of the night, the professional model wins the modeling competition!  Congrats, Kristy!

Sean starts to see Lesley M. in a new way... (ABC)

Next up is the pool party aka Sean's excuse to judge all the women based on their bikini bodies rather than their personalities. I can't wait to see which of these ladies go in for the kiss tonight... Sean and Lesley are so adorably awkward together that I can't even stand it.  Are we in 10th grade?  Just KISS. I feel uncomfortable.  Lesley decides that she can't stand it either and she's going to grow enough balls for the both of them and go for it.  THANK YOU.  Finally Kacie B. gets some time with Sean.  All I can think is "friend zone."  I have a feeling that they will remain friends and nothing further.  Which is okay with me- she can do better!  She's Kacie B.!  Sean continues to meet one on one with the ladies while the others sit around and bicker.  More girls start to see the "real" Tierra, but Sean wants her to feel at ease!  He wants her to stick around!  If she isn't channeling Courtney then I don't know what she's doing.  Later in the night Katie decides that she can't handle living with a bunch of fake bitches anymore and that she needs to leave.  Good riddance.  Nobody will miss you, as Kacie B. makes clear.  Moving on.  Kacie B. is smart this time around and plays it right and gets the rose.  Even with her new semi-conniving attitude, I still love her! 

Desiree gets the next one-on-one date.  Remember, Desiree was an early front runner in my mind, but previews show that she will have a dramatic ex-boyfriend incident and will go home.  So... I won't worry too much about this date.  It seems as though Sean is going to pull a Punk'd on her tonight and see how she reacts when a piece of expensive art crashes off the wall of a gallery.  How romantic...  Sean just loves being a prankster!  Remember when he pretended he lived with his parents to mess with Emily??  SO funny!  As Chris Harrison says during the prank, "this feels a little messed up."  Yeah, it is.  As Sean says, "I am a bad person." Yeah, you are.  Finally, Sean feels bad enough and ends it.  Thank goodness she has a sense of humor!  That joke really helped them make a strong connection.  Later, they bond over their love for their parents, blah, blah, they like each other, she gets in her bikini, he likes her even more, she gets a rose, they kiss, blah, blah.  She would be in the top for sure if she wouldn't have this dramatic past come back to ruin it.  Sad.

Finally we come to the rose ceremony/cocktail party.  Sean is apparently only getting rid of 2 girls and he already knows who they are. Yawn.  He spends some time with Lindsay (oh yeah, remember the wedding dress?) and reassures her that he still really likes her (when did this happen?).  She admits that she had a bit too much champagne last week... I guess she is better off sober.  Sean starts to freak out because the producers have hand-picked all of these women to have exactly the qualities he is looking for, and he doesn't know how to narrow it down from there!  This is when feelings and a personality would be helpful, Sean... Later, Amanda starts to get grumpy and makes everyone really uncomfortable.  The other girls just cannot simply ignore it and move on- they MUST point out how awful she is and talk about it to no avail.  What else do women do when they get together but talk shit about other women?  I think the real problem is that she has clearly lost her hairbrush, and it is making her really upset!

Later, Robyn brings race into it as she wonders if Sean is into "black females," and Sean assures us that physically he does not have a type, but that he loves and has experience with women of ALL races!  Things are getting very uncomfortable. Or is it just me?  Let's just get this elimination over with.  Time to see him give roses to all the girls I have already forgotten about from the first night!  Amanda gets the final rose of the night and we are all SHOCKED because she was so grumpy and fake.  Sadly, Brooke (who?) and Diana (who? oh, the mom) are eliminated and I cannot believe it!  Love was just not here for them, says Brooke.  I am still anxiously awaiting more of these girls being eliminated- he is just not getting rid of enough of them each week!  Move this along, please.

Sean's diverse group of ladies- and he is attracted to them ALL! (ABC)

It appears that next week we will finally see some REAL Tierra drama, and I cannot wait.  Hopefully more of these women will show their personalities and we will get insight into who the major front runners will be, along with Tierra.  Stay tuned for all the excitement!