After this epic failure of a season, I want to take a moment to look back at some of the main lessons we learned. Oh, and revel in the fact that I seemed to be one of the few who predicted this train wreck from the beginning. Let's start from the top, shall we?
1. NEVER choose a little-known contestant to become the next Bachelor. Have I not been saying this all along? All we knew about Juan Pablo before his reign was that he was hot, Latin, and a dad. That's it. Literally, he was not a part of Des' season at ALL, yet ABC went for it. What did we end up with? The biggest jerk in Bachelor history that NOBODY cares about and nobody wants to see succeed. (Yes, ignore everything I previously said about him being a "great guy," seems like his lame-ness fooled me too). I swear if I ever have to hear him say "it's okay," "mmhmm," or "don't interrupt me" again, I will lose it. What kind of an example are you setting for your daughter now? You just disrespected numerous women AND Chris Harrison on national television. I'm glad you want a private life now, because nobody will ever want you to come back as a "Bachelor Alum" for anything, ever again. Good riddance.
2. Clare wasn't the crazy one after all. So maybe I was off on this one. Clare turned out to be surprisingly coherent in the finale when she told off Juan Pablo. No, if anyone is crazy, it's Nikki. Well, either she is crazy, desperate, or sad, and we should feel sorry for her for falling into this awful trap of a relationship. Did anyone else feel super uncomfortable when she was just sitting next to him on the couch silently during After the Rose, awkwardly kissing him whenever he desired? It's hard to tell if she is just doing this for the sake of "winning" the show, for the attention, or if she truly does love him. But if she has really fallen under this spell, I am just sad for her. All women know what it's like to fall in love with a jerk, and not be able to pull yourself out of it. But I hope someone can snap her out of this soon, or she is in for a life of submission with a man who won't get to know her, and won't reciprocate her love. Sad.
3. Chris Harrison needs a new job. Or a large vodka drink. I actually could not help but laugh hysterically at the TV as Chris tried desperately to bring some semblance of normal to the After the Rose special last night. It was clear that he cannot stand Juan Pablo and that he was just trying to end this atrocity of a season. It seemed like he was actually taunting Juan Pablo about the "I like you a lot" comment, and he had a face of disbelief throughout most of the night. Plus, in case you missed it, he definitely walked off the set right at the start of one commercial break, and he continuously made comments about wanting to move on to next season. And did anyone miss the usual Chris Harrison heart-to-heart that typically comes right before the final rose ceremony? Guarantee either CH wanted no part of that, or it was just too horrible to bother airing. Oh Chris, we all still love you. Go get plastered and think about how great next season will be with Andi!