Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Week 6 Recap: Auditions for the Jersey Shore

Again, I am a bit late on my post this week due to a little vacation, but I am ready to find out what happens!  Remember all the drama that started with James, but never came out to Des??  It's ALL coming out this week, and I cannot wait. Get ready for some more tears!!  They are all in Barcelona for the week, which of course Des thinks is the perfect place to fall in love!  There are a lot of lame-o's left and I am hoping that at least 2 of them get sent home this week.  We find out that there will be no cocktail party this week, so time with Des is precious!!

Drew gets the first one-on-one date, and I am so happy!  He is adorable and has not had enough screen time for me yet.  As Des says, he is passionate about romance (redundant?), so she cannot wait to hang out with him in the city.  I actually love seeing them kiss (he is so cute!), and even though he is "reserved," they are having a great time on this date!  Drew admits about his family history and his father's struggle with alcoholism, and we all love a good sob story.  He is so positive about things though, and we all love it, including Des.  P.S. I love when people open up about something for the first time ever on national television... anyone else find that fascinating??  Later, they end up in this super romantic little square for a private dinner, and Drew's emotions are going CRAZY.  He decides to steal her away as the cameras rush to follow, and they have a SUPER hot make out sesh in an alley, and if it weren't for all the cameras, this would be amazing.  Des loves how emotional he is, and she knows she can trust him.  He gets the rose, they make out some more, and we just DIE of the romance.  But THEN, Drew decides to bring up the James drama... Nooooo do not ruin this happy moment!!!  Thank goodness that Des trusts Drew so much, and she is happy that he exposed James and told the truth.  And she is definitely pissed at James, as we saw with a fair amount of bleeping in her interview.  Love it.

At the hotel the next day, Drew tells his buddies about the James situation, and Michael and Kasey are excited to see how things go down on the group date.  The group date involves 6 guys playing soccer (futbol?), and this could get dicey.  Des decides that she is going to give James the benefit of the doubt, in case things were taken out of context, so we will see...  Meanwhile, I wonder who is going to look the best on the soccer field??  Brooks informs us that Juan Pablo's name is directly translated to: You have no chance, and I am going after Desiree on this soccer field.  I die.  This is why we love Brooks!!  Des tells the guys that they will be playing a game vs. Des' team, which is 6 girls.  All the guys laugh that the girls will have no chance, but we find out that they are a pro team from Spain, and I hope these girls destroy them.  Michael tells us that it is okay to kick a girl, and they are heating things up!  Don't the guys know that letting Des win is the way to her heart??  James plays goalie, and lets literally every ball through, and everyone can tell that he is not feeling it (even Des!).  The girls win easily, but the real game is just beginning OFF the field!
My kind of game... (ABC)
The guys all head to Des' place for a late night date to "kick it with Des."  These guys and their jokes!  First Des brings Chris up to her room (dang, girl!) and they just hang out on the bed. Des!  Moving so fast!  Des reads the poem that she wrote for him at the airport, and it is so sweet.  We get it Des, you love Chris.  Meanwhile, Kasey decides he needs to talk to James and get this drama out there.  Michael agrees that they need to address it.  I am worried that Kasey is too obsessed with this whole thing, and I hope it doesn't ruin his chances with Des.  I am starting to feel like he needs to back down.  Kasey tells James what he heard, and James puts on his best acting face and looks shocked and confused.  Or more like, "oh shit, nobody was supposed to hear that."  Des has some nice alone time with Brooks while the other guys hash out their drama, which is good for him.  I love him too, ugh!  Downstairs, James denies everything, and puts it all on Mikey.  All the sudden, James comes at the other guys, and granted, Michael is the most angry even though he wasn't even there to overhear all this. James' anger is really getting intense as he tells everyone to eff off and continues to deny it all.  What is this, his audition for the Jersey Shore??  Well, the cameras will reveal all! (Except when they are conveniently off, of course.)  Kasey spends his alone time with Des telling her about the James drama, and Des seems happy that she told the truth.  Unfortunately, Des is pretty pissed off and sends the other guys home without handing out the rose.  Des tells us that shit is about to hit the fan, but will she be too nice to send him home??

Finally Des confronts James and tells him that she believes what the guys told her.  James struggles to defend himself and again pins it all on Mikey.  He swears on his dad that he never said anything about the girls and the boats, and that the worst case is that he could become the Bachelor.  Yikes.  Apparently the guys were all just ganging up on him and he feels so excluded.  This acting.  He starts to turn away and tear up, and I am gagging here.  James promises that this is just tough and he does want to be here, but he doesn't know how he will feel next week.  Okay...  It literally sounds like Des is talking to a child trying to get him to admit that he stole the cookies from the jar.  This is painful to watch, and we all know she just needs to get this crap out of here.  She takes a minute to think, but decides that she needs to sleep on it to process everything.  This is too much, and James feels robbed and shocked.  Get out of here.  Back at home, the guys talk about the situation, and James cries on the way home for being attacked.  Do you even like Des??  He doesn't want to live with these guys anymore, but guess who comes home??  James walks in and simply says, "Gentlemen.  Goodnight."  Love it.

Oh yeah, we have one more date this week, and Zak is a little worried that Des will be distracted for this date.  Des wakes up feeling bad and needs a break from the drama in the house.  Nothing like Zak to do that!  Is it just me, or does Zak remind anyone else of a cartoon character?  They spend the day doing some artwork, and I really hope they are going to paint a nude model.  Alas, the model is clothed, but it is fun to see their artwork.  They decide to draw each other, and Zak's picture of Des is literally the worst thing I've ever seen.  Oh wait, the model comes back in and poses totally nude, full frontal, and Zak's face is priceless.  They both look horrified and uncomfortable, but do the painting as well.  Zak decides to surprise Des by putting on the model's robe and we all hope he will be nude.  He takes off the robe to reveal tighty-whiteys, and flexes his bod.  This is definitely the best way for him to win Des' heart, as she cannot get enough of his muscles.  Luckily they go to a romantic dinner in a cave so that Zak can prove he is more than a hot bod and a good kisser.  She loves that he is so fun and engaging, but I do not see them together forever.  He is positive and adventurous, but I feel like he is not the settling down type- this show is just another adventure.  Des will see it soon enough, I hope.  He gets the rose, and I like him, but he is not the one.  He'll be adventurous, but he won't settle down.

Back at the hotel, James talks to Drew some more about the issue, and he really is delusional.  The men think the only focus should be on ending up with Des (of course), and they shouldn't even be considering becoming the next Bachelor.  Fair.  James thinks it is legit to think about a future with Des, or as the next Bachelor.  Man, I really hope he does become the next Bachelor.  That would be great.  The next morning, the guys are all hanging out and when James walks in the room just goes silent.  So. Awkward. Des comes in and takes James away to finish their chat, and the suspense is killing me!  The guys don't expect him to come back, but I have a bad feeling about this...  Des says she is ready to send him home, but I still don't believe it yet!  She sits down with him to talk, but I feel like she just needs to get it done.  Can we talk about the other guys standing on the balcony watching this whole thing in the background?  Love it.  Des starts to get fooled by James' facade and she cannot stay strong.  Don't believe his crap, Des, he is a salesman!  Think about all those good guys you have that did NOT do this to you back at the hotel! He basically begs Des to keep him around and she falls for it and he thanks her profusely for keeping him here.  This is who you want as your future husband!?  Idiot.  James goes back and tells the guys about the talk he had, and Chris cannot hold his tongue- James says becoming the Bachelor would be a win-win situation, but why is he even thinking about that?!?  I cannot wait until Des sees this footage.  Wow.

The guys are ready to start a mutiny if this rose ceremony does not go the way they want, and I really hope she is not going to be a moron about this.  She is sending home THREE guys tonight, which is unexpected, and I am worried for some of my faves!!  Mainly Kasey- don't shoot the messenger!  Chris gets the first rose (no surprise there- love him!), and Brooks gets the second (again, no surprise).  And the final rose of the night goes to...  Michael.  WHAT?!?  He is so unattractive I cannot even handle it!  Juan Pablo going home is no surprise- he was hardly even on the show, James we all say good riddance to, but Kasey makes me sad.  I love him, but I guess I never really saw a connection.  Michael makes another lawyer reference about James being found guilty, and I cannot believe he is still around.  I am fairly happy with the top 5, and I am confident that Chris, Brooks, and Drew will be the top 3. We can only hope!  Previews show that Drew is going to break her heart at the last minute (WHAT?) and that every guy left is going to cry at some point.  So much drama to come!  Is she going to end up alone?!?  I can't wait to find out...

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